Silly season

freedominacup

Is it just the time of year that the pressure is off for a few weeks on most dairy farms and fellas have time to shoot the breeze when they meet the neighbours or is it just my area? but the rumor mill is in full flight around here regarding guys getting into milk.

I heard two rumors during the week one about a suckler/finisher who couldn't possibly end-up working harder if he jumped and he's a top class operator to boot and only in early thirties, this one is plausible. The other is another very good farmer but a bit older and hasn't worked with any cattle for decades so I find it less plausible. What are ye hearing lads? Just between ourselves like:rolleyes:.

delaval

Muckit and Bob are getting into cows. Before you say a word they are buying the heifers from me as they want ones that'll last not ones you need to bring into the kitchen if it so much as clouds over.

They have asked me to keep quiet about it, so not a word

bbam

Lots of talk alright.
Talk of lads getting into herds from 15 to 200 cows are floating around. I'd say a lot of it is hot air.

Conmaicne Mara

The word on the Maam Cross grapevine is Moy has been busy buying all the in lamb ewes he can get his hands on. Word is he's going milking too :eek:

freedominacup

delaval wrote: »

Muckit and Bob are getting into cows. Before you say a word they are buying the heifers from me as they want ones that'll last not ones you need to bring into the kitchen if it so much as clouds over.

They have asked me to keep quiet about it, so not a word

There ye go that's exactly the type of stuff we're looking for:P.

bob charles

delaval wrote: »

Muckit and Bob are getting into cows. Before you say a word they are buying the heifers from me as they want ones that'll last not ones you need to bring into the kitchen if it so much as clouds over.

They have asked me to keep quiet about it, so not a word

One question Delaval, will those jerseys be able for all the concrete I have here or have they a mental block for that type of stuff

keep going

delaval wrote: »

Muckit and Bob are getting into cows. Before you say a word they are buying the heifers from me as they want ones that'll last not ones you need to bring into the kitchen if it so much as clouds over.

They have asked me to keep quiet about it, so not a word

Yeah sher bob just trying to talk down the market for himself.diet feeder on donedeal I heard-little used

jersey101

Im getting out of milk lads. Going to buy up all the je bulls calves in the country and fatten them.

moy83

Conmaicne Mara wrote: »

The word on the Maam Cross grapevine is Moy has been busy buying all the in lamb ewes he can get his hands on. Word is he's going milking too :eek:

Its hard to keep anything quiet around here , I heard you have a few acres of yurts going up back there !

Conmaicne Mara

moy83 wrote: »

Its hard to keep anything quiet around here , I heard you have a few acres of yurts going up back there !

Oh popping up like mushrooms they are :cool:

hugo29

all us suckler boys will be contract rearing for ye dairy boys soon, how much does it cost to have heifers contract reared

moy83

Conmaicne Mara wrote: »

Oh popping up like mushrooms they are :cool:

Is it true that you will use them as lambing pens until tourist season then top them up with fresh straw ? :-)

Conmaicne Mara

moy83 wrote: »

Is it true that you will use them as lambing pens until tourist season then top them up with fresh straw ? :-)

Ah here, don't be letting my trade secrets out of the box. The dung acts just like underfloor heating, just cheaper

stanflt

I'm getting out of the cows


Gonna grow 400 acres of flax

Then I'm going to buy 50 tractors and start a contracting business and drive all the tractors myself

Bob told me he'd help out by making me sandwiches when he's finished milking in his own place

bob charles

stanflt wrote: »

I'm getting out of the cows


Gonna grow 400 acres of flax

Then I'm going to buy 50 tractors and start a contracting business and drive all the tractors myself

Bob told me he'd help out by making me sandwiches when he's finished milking in his own place

ah so it was you under allis yesterday that has all the bruder gear in Nth Co Dublin.

stanflt

bob charles wrote: »

ah so it was you under allis yesterday that has all the bruder gear in Nth Co Dublin.

I'm a Siku man myself

Don't like the back end on the bruder and back up service isn't great

keep going

stanflt wrote: »

I'm getting out of the cows


Gonna grow 400 acres of flax

Then I'm going to buy 50 tractors and start a contracting business and drive all the tractors myself

Bob told me he'd help out by making me sandwiches when he's finished milking in his own place

Ah now stan I heard you were down around west cork looking for a farm with a bit of rock and a bog and you going to stock it with crossbreds, buy a digger and spend the rest of your days rockbreaking and digging drains.whelan s giving up the cows and going into sheep, leg wax has bb in calf to jerseys, relig broke and selling the new holland, sharpshooter is actually the irish version of "homeland",darragh haven is starting ballet classes in castlehaven, and we are all broke and cant pay our bills, so I heard anyway

Sharpshooter82

keep going wrote: »

Ah now stan I heard you were down around west cork looking for a farm with a bit of rock and a bog and you going to stock it with crossbreds, buy a digger and spend the rest of your days rockbreaking and digging drains.whelan s giving up the cows and going into sheep, leg wax has bb in calf to jerseys, relig broke and selling the new holland, sharpshooter is actually the irish version of "homeland",darragh haven is starting ballet classes in castlehaven, and we are all broke and cant pay our bills, so I heard anyway

:D might convert some land to a firing range or sell the skills to the highest bidder :cool:

mf240

I heard bob is going to get out of beef and convert the sheds into a lapdancing club.

He is going to use the feeder to mix his own viagra for the older gents.

He's putting a condom machine and a defribulator in the crush.

Now I'm not supposed to know yet, but I'm only telling you because I know you won't say anything.

Sharpshooter82

mf240 wrote: »

I heard bob is going to get out of beef and convert the sheds into a lapdancing club.

He is going to use the feeder to mix his own viagra for the older gents.

He's putting a condom machine and a defribulator in the crush.

Now I'm not supposed to know yet, but I'm only telling you because I know you won't say anything.

that stuff could be for Bob himself

hugo29

mf240 wrote: »

I heard bob is going to get out of beef and convert the sheds into a lapdancing club.

He is going to use the feeder to mix his own viagra for the older gents.

He's putting a condom machine and a defribulator in the crush.

Now I'm not supposed to know yet, but I'm only telling you because I know you won't say anything.

the "Bad Bobs" of limerick

could be a scene out of porkies

Sharpshooter82

hugo29 wrote: »

the "Bad Bobs" of limerick

could be a scene out of porkies

Where anything goes

bob charles

mf240 wrote: »

I heard bob is going to get out of beef and convert the sheds into a lapdancing club.

He is going to use the feeder to mix his own viagra for the older gents.

He's putting a condom machine and a defribulator in the crush.

Now I'm not supposed to know yet, but I'm only telling you because I know you won't say anything.

Jasus, is there a full moon or something today affecting your brains

colrow

I got this from a mate today had me laughing...............


Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Kevin:


Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had....
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.


An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.


Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'


Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck.


Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

onyerbikepat

Like Brendan Graces joke - Paddy arrives into the doctors surgery to get his test results and the Doctor looks up at him and says "Gout".
"G'out", says Paddy, "I'm only after coming in".

Farmer Pudsey

bob charles wrote: »

One question Delaval, will those jerseys be able for all the concrete I have here or have they a mental block for that type of stuff

The story is Del boy has a digger ordered he is digging out the [EMAIL="f@@king"]f@@king[/EMAIL] pad and putting in a tank. He is on the look out for S/H cubicles and slats.

http://www.donedeal.ie/farmsheds-for-sale/cow-and-weanling-cubicles/5702850
http://www.donedeal.ie/farmsheds-for-sale/cubicles-for-sale/5993054
http://www.donedeal.ie/farmsheds-for-sale/cubicles-for-sale/5993054
He is trying to pick between the ones above but cannot find them in large enough quanity's However he may be on a winner below in Mayo

http://www.donedeal.ie/farmsheds-for-sale/for-sale/5987511

However he is having no problem with the slats he has them sourced
http://www.donedeal.ie/farmsheds-for-sale/concrete-cattle-slats/5737949

jersey101 wrote: »

Im getting out of milk lads. Going to buy up all the je bulls calves in the country and fatten them.

You can keep the JE's as long as you keep away from the JEX's

mf240

onyerbikepat wrote: »

Like Brendan Graces joke - Paddy arrives into the doctors surgery to get his test results and the Doctor looks up at him and says "Gout".
"G'out", says Paddy, "I'm only after coming in".

A lad goes to the doctor and tells him that he's stressed and having trouble sleeping.

The doctors tells him to go home and make love to the wife a few times and come back the following week.

He comes back a week later and tells the doctor that he feels like a new man.

"And by the way doctor" he says "you have a lovely house aswell"

Bizzum

Seeing as a few jokes have been posted. I always liked this one:

A bear and a rabbit both taking a crap in the forest. The bear says to the rabbit "does sh1te stick to your fur". "No" says the rabbit. So the bear picks him and wipes his arse with him

mf240

There is a very thin wall between my apartment and the attractive lady next door.

Last night I heard her having sex, full on moaning and the headboard banging against the wall.

Turned out it was her elderly mother who had a bad fall and was banging on the wall with her walking stick, looking for help.


I feel a bit guilty about the **** now.

bob charles

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand

Conmaicne Mara

This one cracks me up.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=87487513&postcount=9

I am easily amused.

Brown Podzol

Neil Armstrong being interviewed years after walking on the moon was asked were his first words really " this is a small step for a man but a giant leap for mankind". No says he, my first words were really " you'll have to do it now Mrs. Murphy". Why did you say that says the interviewer. Well says he when I was a young fellow growing up in the Bronks we lived in the next apartment to the Murphy's and all I could hear through the thin walls every night was "there will be a man walking on the moon before I'll put that in my mouth"

Conor556

Johnny came in home and went upstairs and walked past his mother and fathers room and herd her moaning so he walked in and saw the 2 of them riding in the bed,, "get the **** out " says johnnys father. Neidless to say johnny was horrified and a week later it was just the himself and the granmother in the house so he takes her upstairs and starts going at it with her in his mother and fathers room,,, his fathers arrives in and can hear her roaring so he runs up stairs and sees johnny riding his own granmother, horrified he says " what the **** are you doing johnny" and johnny replies "Its not so funny when its your own mother is it" !!!!!!!!!

awaywithyou

http://www.joe.ie/rugby/rugby-news/video-the-haka-wasnt-nearly-as-menacing-in-1973-as-it-is-today/


:pac::pac: