Sick of looking young

LegacyUser

As the title says I am sick of looking young. I am 25 years old and i am always told i look like a 15 year old. I know people will say you will be happy in a few years but i honestly think I am getting younger looking!

I t has really started to affect my everyday life, i now dread going out to a pub as I feel everyone is staring at me.

I have recently moved to the uk and it has never been worse. When I went to set up a bank account I was told I would need a parent with me, when I wanted to change my euros to pounds on the boat over I was asked for id when I laughed and said I am 25 the person said yes I am sure you are. I didnt even know you needed ID to change money.

And then last week I was in a pub went to buy a drink got asked for ID as i expected, showed my passport and was told no we can not serve you as we do not think you can not be this age my passport picture is an up to date. I asked to speak to the manager who then told me they can not accept Irish passports as it may be fake? I also showed them all my other ids they still said no. I left the pub in tears.

Even at my new job when I started everyone thought i was just out of school and I feel they do not take me seriously. I know I may not look 25 but i think i at least look over 19.
I am not sure how uch more I can take it is really affecting my confidence, my life everything.

Typer Monkey

Not to sound flippant OP but there is very little you can do to look older other than ensure you are dressing like someone in their mid 20s and maybe update your hair style. Are you still dressing as you did as a teenager? Are you wearing your hair down or up in a ponytail etc. sorry for probably just stating the obvious but other than ensuring that you carry id and try dressing a little older there's not much practically that you can do

R.D. aka MR.D

i can only imagine how frustrating this must be for you.

I agree with the above poster. You may have to change your appearance a bit. Are you female? Do you wear make-up? I find that if im out without make-up on then i'm more likely to be stopped for ID (im 26).
Also, maybe consider getting a mature haircut.

From the pub example, do you have credit cards etc? I can't understand that if you had multiple Ids and some credit cards with your name on them that they wouldn't believe that you were over 18.

iusedtoknow

I used to have this (male and was very baby faced - always had light beard cover, so that wasn't an option). I made some changes - lost some weight so my face had more edges - dressed slightly differently and changed my hair. It didn't happen over night, however it started to change peoples perception of me and I stopped being taken for younger.

As for ID...I'm 30 and still get ID'd (in the US)...my father is in his 60's and was ID'd in the supermarket - he was flattered, I was not

I'm 28 and when people see me, they often mistake me for a younger age, perhaps early 20s. Just act your age, perhaps look into updating your wardrobe, change your hairstyle - I'm assuming you're male? What about growing some amount of facial hair. Just believe in yourself and people will start believing it too

fussyonion

I agree about your appearance.

I'm in my late twenties and was always being asked for I.D, especially in Aldi buying wine, and I figured it was 'cos I was dressing like I was still a teen-not childishly, but maybe too casually.

My hair was also a bit wayward and long and a bit tatty so I got a trim, kept it looking well maintained and started wearing more appropriate clothes.
Just jeans, a shirt, blazer and boots.

This might sound silly, but dressing more grown-up should give off the impression you ARE the age you really are.

jamesr123

I suffer from the exact same problem mate.. I'm 21 but still look like a child even though i'm about 6 foot 2.. When I tell people i'm 21 they always look at me in disbelief. It gets very annoying and i'm not sure wether to take it as a compliment or what..


I don't think there is much that can be done about it really.. in my case it's because i'm so skinny. maybe that's your issue? Recenlty I was told I look 15 by 3 seperate people

the_syco

Typer Monkey wrote: »

Nensure you are dressing like someone in their mid 20s and maybe update your hair style

On this note; if you're male, grow facial hair. Even if you regard it as "bum fluff", a beard is a beard. If you're a woman, you may need to slightly change your "casual" wardrobe a bit.

seanie_c

I hear you OP.

As a guy, had same problem myself for many many years but funnily enough, when I started to look older, I wanted to look young again.

Women would pass me on street or in a club / bar and comment openly to their friends how boyish I looked, laughing at me, right in front of me, like I wasn't there or wasn't allowed any feelings towards what they were saying about me.

A good experience in how shallow people can be towards others and it definitely affected me negatively like you are saying. But in hindsight, it shouldn't have because these berks weren't worth my time.

I won't pretend I got over these things immediately but learning more about myself on a spiritual level helped.

I'd have been better off trying to find company with people that could respect me for who I am instead of trying to conform like every other lemming out there.

Certainly, what clothes you wear can affect people's perception of how old you are but again this will probably come down to you accepting how shallow and stupid people in society are.

I would dress like a hippie (and still do when I want) and some people, especially at work didn't think it was "professional" which I found laughable because we didn't engage with customers on a personal level.

Eventually they forced me to go and buy a whole new wardrobe, just to satisfy their ignorance. This is the system and I was being forced to comply.

And I make no apologies to those believing you can judge a person by their appearance because they haven't a clue, they really don't.

Hope you're alright anyway, OP. Don't let them bring you down.

usersame

I disagree with the facial hair suggestion unless you can grow a proper beard. Being young looking is a sign of health it's a good thing.

You are the way you are, everyone has some hang up with themselves! The complaint of being too young looking isn't the worst

jamesr123

usersame wrote: »

Being young looking is a sign of health it's a good thing.

It might be a good thing but not really a sign of good health.. I look very young and never look after my diet or excersize..

the_syco

usersame wrote: »

I disagree with the facial hair suggestion unless you can grow a proper beard. Being young looking is a sign of health it's a good thing.

The OP is uncomfortable whilst out socialising, so although it may be a sign of health, I'd say grow the facial hair regardless if the OP is a dude. Also, beards don't just pop up magically. Finally, it doesn't have to be a full grown beard. Depending on your hair style, the "Mutton Chops" (Reverse Goatee) can suit some people, or just some sort of a goatee may help the OP feel more at ease.

NicoleL88

I'm the exact same as yourself OP, 25 and told I look about 16, even by the children I look after!

Consistently sick of being told "You'll be glad of it when you're older!" I AM older. I am not glad of it. I'm only 5 ft 2 aswell!

I find that people look down on me, and tend to push past me in the street because they think I'm just a child that should move out of their way. It's incredibly frustrating, insulting and upsetting.

You're not alone OP!

XMASSmrstobe

Hi OP,

I'm in the same boat, and its so frustrating. I suppose I just wanted you to know your not alone. I'm 25 (v. nearly 26) and regularly work with families in need - I turn up to meetings to be told 'young people cant attend': when I'm meant to be managing the meeting! When politicians are canvassing they still ask frequently to speak to my parents - its my home (haven't lived with them for 8+ years now!). It does get to a stage where it is embarrassing not to get into a pub/club without being asked for id. And where I feel that looking young is impacting on my ability to progress in work. Importantly for me, I'm getting married at christmas and when trying on dresses (in more than one shop having booked an appointment and discussed my partner/fiancee) I was asked when my debs was!! People on the street regularly comment that I'm too young to be getting married - as if they know my life story. Or ask me 'how did your parents react?'. It can be hard to stay confident.

As a female, while I agree with other posters that make-up for me makes a difference. I do dress for my age, my hair cut is stylish - not that different from other colleagues - and I am always presentable and well spoken. It can be frustrating to be told to change appearance when I have to conform to certain rules, particularly in work (eg our hair must be tied up). That said: I've found really practical things help. Such as holding the car keys in my hand or to have something that clearly distinguishes me as 'employer' - i.e. case notes etc. Only buying booze when doing my grocery shop etc. Being polite but assertive when challenged!

To be honest, I have started to predict the comments. Introducing myself in work has made a difference 'Hi I'm X (name) the Y (job title): and you are?'. very frequently people react with shock and ask me what age I am: sometimes I respond "Oh, I've been told I look a lot younger than I am, I'm working with X organisation for over 3/4/5 years now (depending on case)" and then swiftly move conversation on to 'and hows your day going?'.
I also always carry at least two forms of photo Id and my credit card: if there is issue at a door: I will immediately ask to see a manager, explain the situation and normally this is no issue - it does mean making sure I come across coherently and sober which can be frustrating when others are having a boozy night!

Tips would be pre-planning. Watching your style and presentation and clothing, body language is a big one - if i have headphones in people can assume i'm a young teen. Funnily enough its people my own age and older that get it wrong, teenagers know I'm older!

It is hard and knowing my luck - i'll age ten years in the next three - so wont have long term benefits! but its manageable and you're not the only one.

Best of luck,

Calibos

I'm 40 in January and am told I look mid 20's.

It's a right pain in the @ss.

HaHa, who am I kidding....it's deadly!!

That's what I find funny about ageing and life - when you're younger, you're delighted they tell you that you look a few years older, when you're slightly older, you hate being told you look a few years younger, yet when you're older still, it delights you.

OP, there are so many people in the same boat as you, so you're most definitely not alone. When I was 15/16, everyone thought I looked 18, which came in handy at the off licenses, I'll tell ya, but now at 28, people think I'm 23. To combat this, I grew a slight beard. Now I'd say I look at least 25. By the time I'm 50, I hope to look 35.

I know it makes you feel like people are looking at you, when realistically they might not be at all - it could be that voice of doubt that is telling you so, which gets louder the more unsure you feel about yourself. Grow a beard, change your appearance, try and gain some confidence in yourself.