Family Problems

LegacyUser

Hi All,

I have posted before about problems that I was having with my brother. Until recently It looked as if the problems were beginning to get ironed out but all I can say is that there back now worse than ever. Just to give a brief outline to what is a complicated situation. I never have had a good relationship with him but recently things happened that changed things such as loosing a close friend. That friend was friends with both of us. As it stands neither of us had a great social life as we didnt have many friends near home as both of us finished college recently. last year I said Id bite the bullet (lifes too short and all of that) & decided maybe it would be a good thing to try and improve our relationship for both our benefit. eventually we ended up going out & things a kind of seemed to be normalising a bit between us. However nothing works out as planned & I began to see the other side again of my brother. When we did go out it was like he was trying to control me at all times, how fast I drink (possibly trying to get me drunk or something), even trying to control when I was going to out (On one St Stephens night he actively tried to stop me from going out for Christmas drinks - I still went out in spite though). Eventually my brother met up with some of his old workmates and started going out with them & I was dropped completely. I really felt this as - I dont know if many of you felt what its like to be left out but it made me feel pretty bad. All this after all my attempts to improve relations.

So weekend after weekend I was left in and when your in your early 20's thats not good so eventually I had to decide to build a new life for myself. Im now back in college and have a reasonable enough nightlife. During this time though it came to light that my brother has been suffering from depression and is seeking help for it. Also over the past few months his other friends dropped him and was left in weekends. Of course then he comes back to me looking for a night out. Although I was skeptical at first I agreed and went with him again. Just recently though he admitted to my mother that his behaviour to me wrong over the past while and that he shouldnt of excluded me when he was going out. I thought things were finally going to change when just as soon as his own friends come back Im completely left out again, doesent even bother to tell me what hes doing or even ask if I want to go. Im completely left out again.

In fairness tho, I have worked very hard over the last year to get me out of that situation and it doesnt effect me as much as it did last year, however I just dont like been taken for a fool or just as somebod to fall back upon when theres nobody else and I did feel it when I was left out again. Its clear that Im not wanted and to him im only there as a last resort when he needs me. Unfortunaltely I dont know that many people back home to go out with so when im there Im really stuck. Christmas wont be a nice period for me.

How do I handle this situation though. Im off the opinion to just stay away from him from now on. Im not going to ask him now and if he asks me at this stage Im going to refuse even though Ive nobody else to out with when im home. However its just more difficult when hes suffering from depression as you dont want to go too hard on him but I have to look after myself aswell and I just feel his not a good person to be around at this stage. And it stinks that he might only ask you once in blue moon when theres nobody else. Im also getting slightly suspicious of his behaviour over the past while. There can be a since of jealousy in some of his behaviour towards me as I got a good job & got back to college, something he wants desperately to do. I feel he is watching me, every move I make sometimes, watching for my reactions etc its hard to explain but I feel it and Im not the only person that has said that.

Any advice is appreciated & sorry for the long story but I just wanted to get it out there