So I really like this girl, but...

LegacyUser

Hello,

I'm just looking for some advice about a girl. About 12 months ago I met a girl on a night out here in Ireland and kissed her. I went back to hers and we had a good night. A few drinks and a bit of a laugh (nothing happened by the way). The next night I ended up being with her again. I got on really well with her and her friends. She was an all round cool girl. Beautiful looking, great personality and really sound friends.

However, the weekend I was with her she told me she was leaving her job and going to the Middle East to work as an air hostess. Obviously I was disappointed. We suggested meeting again for dinner before she left but it didn't happen for a number of reasons. Mainly because I was going on holiday with a few friends. I also lived in a different city here in Ireland so that didn't help matters.

So for the past 12 months she had been working as an air hostess in the Middle East, travelling all around the world in the process. I'm friends with her on Facebook.

As you've probably guessed, I like her. She's always smiling in her photos and she seems to enjoy her job so I can't see her moving home anytime soon. She's about 27 or so.

I would be quite a picky guy in general. I've no problem in saying that I get approached by women on nights out but I don't want to have a relationship for the sake of it either. I have to really like a girl, and I do like this girl.

My head is in a bit of a mess. I don't really know what to do, whether to say anything to her or not. We have been in touch once or twice on Facebook since she left but not recently. Looking for some advice here people. Thank you.

alias06

You need to get out and meet other women. You had a brief fling with this girl and then she has since left the country and has been gone for over a year. She seems happy with what she is doing. You are thinking of contacting her in the hope she will move back to Ireland to be with you. Very unlikely to happen. Move on.

December2012

Realistically, what can happen here?

Does she ever come back to Ireland? My guess is if she does that time is short and spent with family and friends - I don't know if she'd consider you a friend as you say you're not really in touch. So that's not really going to go anywhere in the short term.

Long term - she lives in Middle East doing a job that is a lot of travelling. You live here. There is no foundation from which you can decide if you have a future together.

It was a fling and I suggest you try to move on romantically and sexually.

The "only" way anything might happen will be if you reignite your correspondence over Facebook and you meet her next time she's home.

Meauldsegosha

OP you met this woman twice and apart from some pictures and a couple of messages on FB you don't really know her. Most people smile when a camera is pointed at them and they are the photos they put on FB. You say you are picky about woman and it seems you've put woman on a pedestal so no one is going to compare.

You have a crush on her which is ok most people get crushes. The important thing is not to let the crush get in the way of real life.

sullivlo

Tell her you like her but don't expect her to say or do anything.

If she does say she likes you back suggest meeting next time she is home.

If she doesn't then it's time to move on.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. I guess they weren't really the positive responses I was looking for but I do need a dose of reality and try to forget about her.

She does come home maybe 2 or 3 times a year but that really isn't any basis on which to start anything serious. At the same time, I'm not consigned to staying in Ireland.

I would like to make my feelings known to her and as some of the posters have said maybe we can meet up the next time she comes back. I guess it's better to come out with it rather than leave it eat me up inside. If she says no then so be it.

Matteroffact

I wouldn't be confessing my feelings to her just off the cuff. You need to write to her about general things and see how she responds first. If you get a good rapport with her then you can tell her how you feel, but if she doesn't respond much to you then forget about it.