patience is running low

trytilidie

I love my girlfriend but Im getting so so so sick of her **** . Tonight we were supposed to go to dinner , I was really looking forward to the restaurant because we both love it and the food is amazing.

But I got a call at 3ish this afternoon asking me if I could go to an interview this evening for a job that i desperately need so we can enjoy other nice things like go away skiing over xmas , i told her this and she said it was fine , but i know her it wasn't so i cancelled our reservation and went , and sure enough i got the position ( well a call back ) but I should be fine .

I am a very patient and I have been nothing but that, yesterday something happened that got her very frustrated with life (nothing to do with me) but she took it out on me yelled etc got annoyed and marched off in public. After that I went to her house unannounced to see how she was doing we didn't even talk about what happened she just said sorry i was bitchy today, i just said it was fine . Im not the type to get angry and row . I dont like kicking up a fuss about any thing

If you knew me personally , you know that i would never allow myself to be treated in such a manner by anyone but it was her and she was having a bad day I took it on the chin and let it slide.

This morning she was having a bad start as a result of what happened yesterday and I helped her to the best of my ability to resolve it . And in the end I resolved it for her and she was back to being all loved up and kissing me and thanking me etc.


now she just said i don't show her i love her enough , and because i cancelled the date she was looking forward to, to attend an interview that could allow us to enjoy nice things ,she now feels that she can't depend on me .

and Ive made her feel indebted to me because i pay for things for her and take her out. and i don't seem to want to spend time with her anymore . in the last month i can count the amount of times she has came to mine to see me on 3 fingers .

I have gone to see her more than a dozen times . we only live a bus ride apart


I feel drained guys , empty , we have been together for 6 months .

help me .

ive done nothing but change to her requirements over these last few months . I stopped seeing my old group of female friends ,

I know for a fact not a single other guy would put up with this ****.
I really don't know why I am .

if any of you think im in the wrong please tell me , so i can learn.

Merkin

What age are you both OP?

Lisha

Op, yes relationships involve some work but really 'love does not hurt either in the relationship'

If it is this hard word with no high points why bother? Get out and live your own life for yourself.

From what you've written she sounds a bit divaish and who needs that headache.

A good relationship nurtures and supports both parties .
This IMHO should be the aim if any relationship .

Best if luck op and I hope you got the job.

Potatoeman

She seems to have no problem telling you what she is not happy about so why dont you tell her what you arent happy about.

trytilidie

Merkin wrote: »

What age are you both OP?

Yes i thought one would ask that, im 21 shes 22

cloudatlas

'I stopped seeing my old group of female friends'. Alarm bells are sounding for me. Nobody should ask you to give up your friendships, also it shows deep mistrust on her part. Two questions do you love her? Is it worth the histrionics? The only thing to do is sit down and hash it out, tell her how you feel and maybe suggest better ways that she can manage her stress without being abusive towards you.

RoboRat

Sounds like a previous relationship of mine. She used to freak at me for no reason and basically make out that everything was my fault. I used to make all the effort and she would just manipulate everything to be my fault. One night we were out (we had gone on a weekend holiday) and I felt a bit sick and wanted to go home, she flipped out because I ruined the night and we broke up, getting back together a few days later.

Sounds like she is just looking for excuses to have a go and that generally means that she has reservations about the relationship and known or unbeknownst to herself she is trying to cause friction to justify breaking up. Usually it stems from confusion or a feeling of claustrophobia and that she might not be ready for something serious. This is just my experience and I may be wrong but its best that you sit down and talk to her.

Beruthiel

trytilidie wrote: »

now she just said i don't show her i love her enough , and because i cancelled the date she was looking forward to, to attend an interview that could allow us to enjoy nice things ,she now feels that she can't depend on me .

Give me a break.
I would have asked her straight out, what's more important, getting a job or going out to dinner?
A dinner can be rescheduled, getting a job can't.

Your g/f sounds like major hard work.
Attention seeking due to low self esteem and confidence.
I wouldn't be afraid to tell her she's exhausting.
She may not even know that she's behaving so childishly.
Having it pointed out to her might help her change that habit.
At 22 it's time for her to learn how to behave like an adult.

Either way trytilidie, if you don't call a halt to this it will continue and most likely get worse.
Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote: »

Give me a break.
I would have asked her straight out, what's more important, getting a job or going out to dinner?
A dinner can be rescheduled, getting a job can't.

Your g/f sounds like major hard work.
Attention seeking due to low self esteem and confidence.
I wouldn't be afraid to tell her she's exhausting.
She may not even know that she's behaving so childishly.
Having it pointed out to her might help her change that habit.
At 22 it's time for her to learn how to behave like an adult.

Either way trytilidie, if you don't call a halt to this it will continue and most likely get worse.
Best of luck.

Can't agree with this post enough! She is killing your friendships, and killing your confidence so much that you feel guilty going for interview? Get the hell out OP, she sounds like horribly entitled little princess. Don't be with someone who sucks any good out of life like she is doing. She needs to cop on and grow up and stop being so selfish. I'm just shocked at her tantrum behaviour!

Does she have any female friends? The reason I ask is that I've met a few women like this over the years (i'm a woman), and that I think guys often tend to be far more tolerant (in the medium term anyway) of princess syndrome than women are.

TwoGallants

To be honest, if a girlfriend told me that I couldn't have other female friends that would be an absolute red line for me. No matter how much I love her. Any relationship based on a premise of fear is destined to fail. Have a think OP, and spend time considering whether she really is worth it.

Big Bag of Chips

I'm always slightly amused (and not in a good way!) by posts that start.. "I love my gf/bf... But"

Your title suggests you've had enough. Your post gives a fair few reasons why you are justified in having enough. I can't remember one redeeming thing you said about your gf in your post. You seem to give, and she takes.

For what it's worth, I think she's fed up with the relationship. There's no other reason for her to pick holes in every little thing.

Can I ask, what do you love about her? Do her good points far out weigh her bad? I know people often post here in moments of frustration with their boyfriends or girlfriends so are usually caught up in the bad! But if you are at the stage where the relationship is becoming a chore, and it sounds like it is, for both of you, then it's time to make changes. Whether those changes are doable in the relationship, or mean finishing with each other, only you can tell.

But, generally, relationships are supposed to make you happy.

LegacyUser

Don't make excuses for her, this behavior is unacceptable. You have to tell her a few home truths before it's too late. She knows she can get away with taking things out on you because you don't fight back. There is no respect. Tell her to shape up or ship out. You can do better.

trytilidie

Thanks a million for the reply guys , I got a call today I GOT THE JOB so excited !

i also go like 30 voice mails, facebook messages, text messages of my girlfriends apologising for her behaviour, I am not the vindictive type so , as per usual i let it slide ,she seemed remorseful enough , but I let her know that I will not be taking that sort of nonsense again.

She apologised and that should be that for now.

I say for for now because .....(indecisive emoticon )

Lisha

Congrats on the job and best of luck with everything