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  • 12-11-2013 12:38pm
    #1
    Needhelp345
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭


    I've been debating posting this for a while...
    Basically, I was attacked a few months ago by my mothers boyfriend. Still really dont know what happened. I was listening to music ( headphones) and he just came at me. It was completely un provoked and out of character for him. I had bruising and swelling on my face and hurt my neck and back quite badly. The police were called but he left before They arrived. My mother didn't want me to press charges as I would have to testify in court. I was also due to start college soon so I didn't want the whole thing hanging over my head.

    She broke up with him. Couldn't believe that he would hit a teenage girl. And never wanted his name mentioned again. Our relationship has never been great but in the months following the attack we became closer than ever.

    Today I got a fb message from a friend I haven't seen in years ( we drifted apart after primary school) she had seen my mam and her boyfriend ( who she had known ) at the pub on sat. She also mentioned how nice it was that they were loved up.My mam usually stays with my grandmother after a night out as she lives near the pub. This week she told me had stayed with a friend. I really don't believe this. She wasn't acting normal. Usually she would be telling me about her night out. But this week she didn't say a word. To put it bluntly she was acting kinda guiltily.

    I've been feeling hurt and betrayed. We grew closer than ever after the attack and now i feel like its been destroyed. I really don't know what so do. I feel so concerned about her. I don't want her to be attacked like i was.

    Sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes (on a phone)


Comments

  • #2
    ManOfMystery
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery


    How you're feeling is totally understandable, and justified IMO. I think it's a betrayal also for your mother to turn around and go back to the partner who attacked her teenage daughter, and also lie about it.

    However, I think you should hear your mother's side of the story and make sure this friend is telling the 100% truth. If she is, then you need to let your mother know how you feel and that you're scared not just for her, but for yourself again. I assume this guy has never apologised to you or given any kind of explanation for what he did?


  • #3
    Merkin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    First of all I am very sorry that this has happened you hon. He sounds like a scumbag and a thug and to have someone be violent towards you so suddenly must have been one hell of a shock. Did you seek any medical help after it happened? Has it effected your sleep or anything? People often suffer from PTS after an incident like this so please mind yourself and maybe consult a GP if you think there have been any adverse repercussions.

    I also think hearing this from a third party must be a shock, it must seem like a huge betrayal. However, without evidence or proof, you can't just accuse your mother until you've spoken to her about it.I'd sit her down and ask her directly. I wouldn't hint at what you want to talk about or give her any clues beforehand but I'd ask her straight so that you can see her reaction. He may have been vioent towards her or threatened her or she may just have absolutely appalling taste in men - we see it in threads here all the time. In any event, the first thing you need to do is get to the truth of the matter and then take it from there.


  • #4
    Needhelp345
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭Needhelp345


    Hi everyone, thanks for the concern. It's nice knowing a place like this is here if you need it.

    @manofmystery
    I'm pretty sure that I can trust this friend. We had drifted apart after I had moved to another town but she knew nothing about the attack; Nobody did, I covered up my bruises with makeup and tried to get on with things. Tbh, I think she was just trying to start a conversation.

    @Merkin
    I did, I couldn't believe how bad it actually was. I have some damage to my neck and back which could be permanent. Emotionally things are a bit harder. It really knocked my confidence. I'm now finding it harder to talk to guys, before I never had a problem. Being in a class with only one other girl also doesn't help. Feeling a bit isolated at the moment.

    I really don't know how and if I should talk about it with my mam. Stubbornness seems to run in our family, If I ask her I don't think she's going to answer.


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