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Is my relationship going anywhere?

  • 09-11-2013 1:45am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    I'm in a relatively new relationship (almost 6 months now) and things are going great so far. We met through mutual friends and had known of each other for years before all this but never really properly talked or anything

    Anyway I'm 22 and she's 21, I still have two years left in college whereas she's done this year. She's planning and has always been planning on going on a J1 this coming summer which I support. If I learnt anything from my past relationships is to not be possessive or pushy and just let people live their lives and what they want to do so I have no problem with this.

    So in my head she'd be gone all summer, I'm planning to go interailing with some of the lads for some of that anyway so I didn't find it a big deal so I presumed we'd stay together she'd come home and we'd be back to normal. I don't think it would be easy but that's how I'm hoping it would work but who knows what could happen in those 3 months or so apart.

    What's come out recently is she wants to travel even more and teach English in China for 6 months go to Australia on a working visa etc. Which sounds great and amazing but now I'm kinda thinking are we just together now for the laugh till she's leaving or is there more to this? She's very detached emotionally almost acts like a lad but I know deep down she cares just doesn't like to show it for whatever reason .

    I'm just upset lately due this and I'm not sure how to continue since I honestly thought we had something good going .

    I have said it to her but she brushes it off as it'll be grand so I'm not sure what she's gonna do come the summer :/


Comments

  • #2
    Matteroffact
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 457 ✭✭Matteroffact


    I would discuss with her how you feel. If she brushes you off again then I would come to realize that she is not thinking about you long term. She is even talking about being away for six months !!! So you would then need to distance yourself from her bit by bit as you don't want to become too attached. If she felt the same as you she should be prepared to reassure you that things will work out. If she can't do that then I would think that she isn't on the same page as you. I would not be hanging around for someone who is not prepared to reassure me that she feels the same as I do.


  • #3
    thegreatgonzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,623 ✭✭✭thegreatgonzo


    Maybe she is just not very good at thinking ahead. When I was 21 if I thought about doing something the following year, I might as well have been talking about doing it in 5 year's time because that's how far away it seemed. So maybe she hasn't really thought this plan through and just thinks everything including you will all fall into place.


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