So I've been asked over for dumplings.

Grayson

a girl has asked me over to her place next week for dumplings (seriously). Apparently it's a new recipe she's trying.

I fear there may be an ulterior motive.

She's pretty but there's a problem. She's really, really, really nice. I don't think I've ever heard her say a single nasty thing. She may be the nicest, sweetest person on the planet.

Now, I'm a nice guy. I do go out of my way to help people. But I'm a sarcastic, cynical fecker with a dark sense of humour. See my problem? I'm wondering how to best unleash the *cough* humour.

Any suggestions?

Frosty McSnowballs

Your testicles are the dumplings.

uch

Thinly veiled I'm getting me Hole thread

Gmaximum

Grayson wrote: »

a girl has asked me over to her place next week for dumplings (seriously). Apparently it's a new recipe she's trying.

I fear there may be an ulterior motive.

She's pretty but there's a problem. She's really, really, really nice. I don't think I've ever heard her say a single nasty thing. She may be the nicest, sweetest person on the planet.

Now, I'm a nice guy. I do go out of my way to help people. But I'm a sarcastic, cynical fecker with a dark sense of humour. See my problem? I'm wondering how to best unleash the *cough* humour.

Any suggestions?

Probably wants you to take a dump on her chest

Sigourney

She's a feeder.

Grayson

uch wrote: »

Thinly veiled I'm getting me Hole thread

Honestly, I haven't got a clue. I mean asking someone for dumplings is so fecking random. And she's so nice she might not even think that I'm thinking it's something dirty.

Mariasofia

Dont be fooled. Dumplings are a euphemism......Ive used it myself

Itwasntme.

Grayson wrote: »

a girl has asked me over to her place next week for dumplings (seriously). Apparently it's a new recipe she's trying.

I fear there may be an ulterior motive.

She's pretty but there's a problem. She's really, really, really nice. I don't think I've ever heard her say a single nasty thing. She may be the nicest, sweetest person on the planet.

Now, I'm a nice guy. I do go out of my way to help people. But I'm a sarcastic, cynical fecker with a dark sense of humour. See my problem? I'm wondering how to best unleash the *cough* humour.

Any suggestions?

Dumplings...is that what the nice kids are calling it these days? Don't bother wearing anything under your trench coat. You might as well start as you mean to go on so she doesn't get any nasty surprises later on .

fasttalkerchat

Bring wine... and jo bags.

Ace Attorney

How do you know shes not thinking something dirty? people can be the nicest people on the outside, but on the inside they want something dirty

OneArt

Edmund, you appear to be wearing a pair of Devil's dumplings.

Gran Hermano

Nice girl?

You will be on here next week looking for a cure for carpet burn.

Itwasntme.

Dumplings..is she Asian? She love you looong time . You lucky bastid!

Mariasofia

Gran Hermano wrote: »

Nice girl?

You will be on here next week looking for a cure for carpet burn.

And what is the best cure..........just asking eh for a friend like.

Teyla Emmagan

Gran Hermano wrote: »

Nice girl?

You will be on here next week looking for a cure for carpet burn.

All going well.

Legs.Eleven

She wants a feel of your Devil's Dumplings*...if ye get me! ;)





































































(*testicles)

Sir Osis of Liver.

Gmaximum wrote: »

Probably wants you to take a dump on her chest

Happened a fella I knew,she got him to sh1t on her in a pyrex dish.

Gran Hermano

Mariasofia wrote: »

And what is the best cure..........just asking eh for a friend like.

Aloe vera


Allegedly

smileyj1987

Give her one for everyone on boards

Rhyme

You misheard her, she wants a BLUMPKIN.

Mariasofia

Gran Hermano wrote: »

Aloe vera


Allegedly

Thanks. Eh I mean Ill let her know......

Karl Stein

Sigourney wrote: »

She's a feeder.

She's going to trap him in a cage of his own flab so she can love him forever and ever and ever and ever and ever...

C.K Dexter Haven

Mariasofia wrote: »

Dont be fooled. Dumplings are a euphemism......Ive used it myself

Yes, but i don't think the OP wants a meal of tripe and drisheen

FearDark

Grayson wrote: »

a girl has asked me over to her place next week for dumplings (seriously). Apparently it's a new recipe she's trying.

I fear there may be an ulterior motive.

She's pretty but there's a problem. She's really, really, really nice. I don't think I've ever heard her say a single nasty thing. She may be the nicest, sweetest person on the planet.

Now, I'm a nice guy. I do go out of my way to help people. But I'm a sarcastic, cynical fecker with a dark sense of humour. See my problem? I'm wondering how to best unleash the *cough* humour.

Any suggestions?

Is she Asian?

Mariasofia

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

Yes, but i don't think the OP wants a meal of tripe and drisheen

Think your euphemism is different to mine hun

C.K Dexter Haven

Mariasofia wrote: »

Think your euphemism is different to mine hun

Oh, I've no doubt about that; hun;)

Mariasofia

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

Oh, I've no doubt about that; hun;)

Then why bother quoting me hun???????

biko

Don't eat the poo-poo!

NuckingFacker

Just goes to show opposites attract.

C.K Dexter Haven

Mariasofia wrote: »

Then why bother quoting me hun???????

:eek: have you just asked the same question, 7 times?:eek:

Mariasofia

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

:eek: have you just asked the same question, 7 times?:eek:

I have . 1 answer will do though:-P hun......

kowloon

Don't come back to this thread if all you have to say is 'Had a delightful meal'.

C.K Dexter Haven

kowloon wrote: »

Don't come back to this thread if all you have to say is 'Had a delightful meal'.

Hey, don't knock food till you try it, tisch:rolleyes:

kowloon

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

Hey, don't knock food till you try it, tisch:rolleyes:

Actually, food is the only thing I can really think about tonight.

C.K Dexter Haven

kowloon wrote: »

Actually, food is the only thing I can really think about tonight.

We'll sir, can I recommend our special tonight:

Toad in the hole?

Mariasofia

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

We'll sir, can I recommend our special tonight:

Toad in the hole?

Or bangers then...... eh I mean....... and ...mash.

shruikan2553

Maybe she wants to show you her dumplings*?

*Im following the theme that by dumplings she means testicles

nlgbbbblth

Mariasofia wrote: »

Or bangers then...... eh I mean....... and ...mash.

gash.

General General

Dumplings suggests, to me, that ass to mouth is possibly on the menu.

It would be best to find out in advance who is doing the mouthing.

Just ask.

keeponhurling

General General wrote: »

Dumplings suggests, to me, that ass to mouth is possibly on the menu.

It would be best to find out in advance who is doing the mouthing.

Just ask.

Good point, probably worth firing off a quick text to her to confirm this

LETHAL LADY

Is it your long lost mam by any chance? Diddle diddle dumpling my Grayson, went to bed with his britches on.

C.K Dexter Haven

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Maybe she wants to show you her dumplings*?

*Im following the theme that by dumplings she means testicles

Please, not while I'm munching on my drisheen:eek:

Freddy Smelly

Mariasofia wrote: »

Dont be fooled. Dumplings are a euphemism......Ive used it myself

is that what you call unplanned get council house pregnancies these days?

momma needs moar maintenance & single mum allowance money

delw

Is she aunt Bessie? Her dumplings are nice

Mint Aero

Grayson wrote: »

She's really, really, really nice. I don't think I've ever heard her say a single nasty thing. She may be the nicest, sweetest person on the planet

I've never met one of these, are you sure she exists? Closest I can relate to is a mare who thought she was the nicest, sweetest person on the planet when in actual fact she was a dry cynical c*nt with a penchant for Greys Anatomy. She didn't poke by the way.

Problem is, for you that is, if you think she's wonderful then you've about as much chance of soiling her as Brendan Courtney does. Adopt the age old tried and tested method, act like a c*nt, treat her like sh*t, leg over, job done

keeponhurling

Updates?

MonstaMash

Mmmm...dumplings