6 year old is perfect at school, but the opposite at home

eviltimeban

Not sure if I'm in the right place, a 6 year old isn't quite a "tween" I know, but nor is he a toddler!

Anyway my son is 6 and is a smart and bright boy. He does very well in school, has lots of friends, and is very kind and nice and polite and all his reports have always stated what a lovely little boy he is. We see him in school and he's generous and tolerant. He's creative and good at drawing and writing.

When he gets home though, he acts up a lot - he fights with his little brother (3), doesn't do what we tell him until we end up having to shout it, he talks smart back to us, and he makes a huge deal about things and often cries his eyes out if he doesn't get his way.

Now granted he's not like that 24/7 - a lot of the time he's grand. So is this him making up for the fact that he's really good in school, and his after school care? I ask him does he behave like this in those places and he says no. One time he even said "I save it up for when I'm home". !! The mind boggles.

Is it because his little brother is there? Often we might do things seperately and when you have him on his own he's a delight. But then he's often very loving with his brother, telling him stories or helping him wash his hands. We think he might also be bored at home, in the mornings and the evenings.

So should I go easier on him? I don't mind him messing or being funny or acting the mick, but its when he doesn't do what I say, it drives me bonkers.

huskerdu

He's basically a good kid who is looking for individual attention from you and has worked out how to get it. They are masters at manipulation. Its also a sign that he loves you most, and trusts you most, that any frustration he has during the day, he stores up for you.

I have a "Street angel, house devil" too. Its hard when you are juggling two young kids and housework. I sympathise.

Its a long term project, but try to reward good behaviour and not "reward" tantrums with lots of attention.
If he wants you, make sure that you do a deal with him that you will pay attention to him when you are finished in a few minutes and keep your promises.

Try to spend time with him immediately on getting home, before housework.

Good luck, it will be OK.

Moonbeam

Please only start one thread about each topic.

Thanks