Concert

dobman88

Hi folks, just looking for some opinions here. I am a 25 year old male and there is a concert coming up in December that my 16 year old sister asked me to take her to. The issue I have with this is the stigma associated with being seen in public with her, even when we go for food or anything people look at me like I am a weirdo. She has noticed it on occasion and I just brushed it off but it makes me so self conscious.

I did go to Slane with her in the summer but there was a group of us ranging in age from 16-27 so it didn't look as bad. We are really close because of things that happened when we were kids and I would love to take her cos she can't find anyone else to go with her but I am afraid of how people react to us in public like we are "together".

Am I just making a big deal out of this and should I care what people think/say?

Raminahobbin

Why would you give a shite what people think?? She's your sister, go if you want to (which it sounds like you do) and don't give it a moments thought what others think.

I'd love if my brothers took me places!!

December2012

Here's a lesson that I hope you learn: you cannot control what other people think, do or say.

So do, say, or think what YOU want.

Hang out with your sister on this occasion, it'll be cool.

The only thing id say is that while it's awesome that you guys are close, please make sure that you both regularly hang out with friends of your own age.

dobman88

December2012 wrote: »

Here's a lesson that I hope you learn: you cannot control what other people think, do or say.

So do, say, or think what YOU want.

Hang out with your sister on this occasion, it'll be cool.

The only thing id say is that while it's awesome that you guys are close, please make sure that you both regularly hang out with friends of your own age.

Course we hang out with friends our own age, I don't live at home so don't see them that often.

The only reason she asked me to take her is cos it is on midweek and none of her friends can go. And we went to Slane in two different groups and when the two groups met up it just looked like one big group, most people were from the same area so everyone knew each other.

Big Bag of Chips

So you'd stop hanging out with your sister, who you are very close to because of what a small minority of people who you don't know, and will never see again (and who will have forgotten you even exist once they have passed you) might think?

Really? Think about it.

Can you not just laugh it off if you get the impression people think you are a couple? I think you are making more of this, than anyone you think is looking at you.

sammyjo90

Take her to the concert!!!!!
wear a t-shirt saying "she's my sister" if its gonna play on you mind that much

December2012

dobman88 wrote: »

Course we hang out with friends our own age, I don't live at home so don't see them that often.

The only reason she asked me to take her is cos it is on midweek and none of her friends can go. And we went to Slane in two different groups and when the two groups met up it just looked like one big group, most people were from the same area so everyone knew each other.

Then go and have fun!

dobman88

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

So you'd stop hanging out with your sister, who you are very close to because of what a small minority of people who you don't know, and will never see again (and who will have forgotten you even exist once they have passed you) might think?

Really? Think about it.

Can you not just laugh it off if you get the impression people think you are a couple? I think you are making more of this, than anyone you think is looking at you.

Yeah, I just laughed at how silly it all sounds reading your post. It is just a feeling I am having trouble shaking off.

Thanks for all the replies.

Stavro Mueller

I checked the calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1st. Honestly OP, I fail to see what the problem is. So what if some sad sacks think she's your girlfriend? The vast majority of people will be so utterly disinterested that they'll not even notice you. I wonder are you being a tad self-obsessed here? Do you really think people are looking at you? I can't help but think that you're a victim of your own rampant over-imagination here.

Besides, if your sister is going to a concert at that age, chances are that other youngsters will also be accompanied by older adults?

Czarcasm

OP when I was 12 I won tickets to a Take That concert, and of course even though it was Take That, I still wanted to go because I'd won the tickets. My sister who was 20 at the time had to bring me. Worst thing that happened? I was up the front and got showered with heaps of wet knickers that missed their on-stage targets!

20 years later I'd to take my then 15 year old sister in law to a bloody Westlife concert. Worst thing that happened? I was sorry I didn't bring a pair of earplugs to shut out the noise of hundreds of screaming girls from all directions.

Honestly OP nobody's going to give a damn about you or your sister tbh, they're there to see the concert, just like your sister will be.

Just don't forget the ear plugs!

dobman88

Thanks guys, mind is starting to rest a bit now. I guess I was just over reacting to a situation that wasn't there. There is a certain stigma with men being seen with younger girls though in my experience, I have mates with kids who get weird looks when in public with them too (their own kids ffs) but I guess I know she is my sister so who cares what others think, right?

I suppose I just wanted some re-assurance is all.

@cymbaline, I didn't mean to sound self-obsessed. I know people don't just stand and watch me walk past like I'm Tom Cruise or something. It is just a feeling I get, admittedly a silly feeling after reading the replies here. Self-conscious I think would describe it better.

Thanks for the advice and re-assurance folks, much appreciated.

jellyboy

Hi op

my tuppence worth is this..
no matter what /who tells you how easy it is to "just go" to the gig ,theres a unseen weight to your fear ..

your shared experiences as children maybe defines this?

We are really close because of things that happened when we were kids and I would love to take her cos she can't find anyone else to go with her but I am afraid of how people react to us in public like we are "together".

this feeling won't go away because you got advise online from strangers,it feels to me that its a deep rooted fear linked to past experiences ..
if it is ,then i would say that you would need to get help and support around it ..

fear has a way of manifesting into everything and anything and unchecked can grow into the most heartbreaking conditions
you also owe it to yourself and to your future to become free of the shame,stigma

Am I just making a big deal out of this and should I care what people
think/say?

your not making a big deal out of this ..your looking for support and help in overcoming fear and stigma..first steps are always hard .

a lot of wise posters has said people will forget you after they pass you etc etc ..

to bring balance to my head and heart ..i repeat this mantra from a very wise handsome man

i am but a grain of sand on the beach of life…jellyboy:P

ManOfMystery

My sister is 16 years younger than me (I'm a 35yr old male), and we get on great and spend time together fairly often. I'd be lying if I said that it never once entered my head what the odd person might think seeing us in public, but it's only been fleeting thoughts - immediately followed by "Well, let them think what they want".

To be honest, I just don't care what people think. And it's probably a good way to be in a situation like this, otherwise you'll find yourself limiting your interactions with your sister - and a good relationship between siblings is not something that should be restrained or affected because of fears of opinion.

Something else to note is that if you look alike at all (as me and my sister do), most people will probably figure it out..!

Hownowcow

You've got a sister who likes you enough to want to spend time with you. Be happy.

Plazaman

Hownowcow wrote: »

You've got a sister who likes you enough to want to spend time with you. Be happy.

+1, she will have a boyfriend soon enough then her old bro will have to play second fiddle. Enjoy the family times whilst you can and enjoy the concert (unless it's Boyzone you're going to, in which case you'll have bigger problems than this one).

ivytwine

dobman88 wrote: »

Thanks guys, mind is starting to rest a bit now. I guess I was just over reacting to a situation that wasn't there. There is a certain stigma with men being seen with younger girls though in my experience, I have mates with kids who get weird looks when in public with them too (their own kids ffs) but I guess I know she is my sister so who cares what others think, right?

God that's depressing. To be honest, I think it says more about their outlook than anything else.

Let one or two eejits stare if they must. You have nothing to justify to anyone!