Do I already know the answer??

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

Hoping for some insight from you boardsies. Long time reg - going unreg for this one.

I went out with a guy for about a year and we broke up a year and a half ago. When I say we broke up it wasn't even a proper break up, he tried to pick an argument with me over text message and half heartedly broke up with me over text and I never heard a peep out of him after that - no explanation for the break up, nothing.

Now fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and he starts messaging me asking me how I am how he's missed me, realised what a mistake he made, wants a chance to explain things, regrets how he treated me etc. Asked me to meet up for a drink so he could 'explain' all of the above.

Now my question is, I am sure the above is pretty common after a break up, to have feelings of regret and wanting to get back with your ex but we broke up nearly 18 months ago now.. just don't understand why it has taken him so long to get in touch? Why would it take you 18 months to realise you made a mistake?

And then the final question is would I be a fool to even consider meeting up with him?? I thought I was totally over this guy but ever since he's appeared again I can't seem to get him out of my head and am constantly thinking what if? Now another point is he was quite a bad boyfriend also, never really made an effort to see me, always in the pub with the lads etc.

Is he just realising that he can't find anyone else and wants to have another crack at an ex?? We are both in our late twenties btw.

Any insight would be great guys cos my head is wrecked by the whole thing

maria34

People dont change in general, u know that. I wouldnt even go there, he broke off with u via text! No respect whatsoever.

Defiler Of The Coffin

Your gut is telling you not to entertain this guy, you should listen to it! If he had really cared for you the first time around he would not have treated you with such disrespect. You even said it yourself that he wasn't a good partner, what makes you think he has changed now? Leave this one in the past where it belongs.

alias06

Run a mile. He treated you like crap. Clearly didn't care about you. Dumped you by text. And yes you are right he is probably now realising he is not Don Juan and is probably having trouble getting another girl so is trying to have a crack at his ex. Don't meet up with him as it will mess with your head. Just say no you can't meet up with him.

ABajaninCork

Leg it. You want nourishment, not punishment! Plenty more where he came from...

Legs.Eleven

I think you already know the answer.

3 points:


Why would you want a "bad boyfriend" back?


Why would you forgive someone who treated you so shabbily and dumped you in such an immature and thoughtless way?

Meeting this guy will set you back on all the progress you've made getting over him.


Why would you even consider getting back with him and what good could possibly come from it? You know no one here could possibly tell you to give him a chance from all that you've written above. I'm sure you think more of yourself than that! You've answered your own question. What advice would you give you friend in this situation? Be a friend to yourself and take it.


Sorry OP. I know it's rough but hold your head up high, keep your dignity intact and move on. Best of luck.

wirelessdude01

Sounds like he probably wants another crack at getting you into the sack a few times. Might be harsh and blunt but that would be my guess.

Stavro Mueller

There is an off-chance that he has seen the error of his ways. You really can't know for a while. If you did get back with him he'd be on his best behaviour for a while, regardless of how genuine his motivations are. Only when the "honeymoon" phase wore off would you get to see what was up.

What's worrying from your point of view is that you were willing to put up with all that shabby treatment first time round. Seeing as you still have feelings for him and you tolerated his bad behaviour first time round, you're a sitting duck. It wouldn't take very many words from this man to have you back as his girlfriend again. Do you trust your judgement? Do you honestly believe that if he goes back to his old tricks again, that you're going to find it within yourself to pull the plug?

tomthetank

Probably going through a dry spell and running through a list of exes and former flings to see who's game.

Wide berth tbh