Living together after break ,is it possible

castle

We are married over 12 years and over the last couple of years we have become distance and that loving feeling for both of us is all but gone. We have 3 children and we both play active part in their lives and I want to remain living with my girls as they are my everything .At the moment wife has moved to downstairs bedroom and we actually are getting on a lot better which is want we both want. Children not aware of anything different as wife would often sleep downstairs watching TV and then fall asleep. She is a wonderful mother but to easy on them for her own good.
We have spoken about how to proceed going forward and she accepts so far that I have as much right to be at home to kiss my girls good night and be there when they wake up in the morning. I have also been the tougher of the two when bringing up the girls so much that she would find it tough without me there all the time and eldest is starting teenage years (and confides in me about things in her little life and is a Daddy's girl ) the youngest is a handful for her mother but is normally good for me as I don't take her tantrums and know how to get who is good mood.
So far so good but has anyone ever done this and this it last until an age when children where ready to fly nest.

desbrook

Tough question but it is relavent : will you be ok looking after your daughters while your wife goes out with a new man or maybe goes away with him for a weekend? Can you say you won't want someone new in the future?
Even leaving all that aside how long do you think it will be before your daughters discover all is not well. They may very well be deeply hurt by what they see as your deception. Please think carefully.

castle

desbrook wrote: »

Tough question but it is relavent : will you be ok looking after your daughters while your wife goes out with a new man or maybe goes away with him for a weekend? Can you say you won't want someone new in the future?
Even leaving all that aside how long do you think it will be before your daughters discover all is not well. They may very well be deeply hurt by what they see as your deception. Please think carefully.

Thanks for opinion but I can't see the wife wanting to move out of the family home and not living everyday with her daughters

desbrook

castle wrote: »

Thanks for opinion but I can't see the wife wanting to move out of the family home and not living everyday with the her daughters

I never said she would ..puzzled ...

castle

desbrook wrote: »

I never said she would ..puzzled ...

No but in a round of way you did say it wont work living together and I 100% will wake up each and every morning with my girls and say good night every night to them ,and wife thinks same so that is where I am coming from,, not trying to be smart and tks for reply

uberalles

If you leave the house you are abandoning it int he eyes of the law and you may get 0 financially from it in the future. Please double check that with a solicitor but I think Im right so staying put might be a good idea $.

You have drifted apart as a couple but you could pull through as a family group for your daughters. I hope all works out well for you all.

Gatling

So what happens of she decides this is a bad idea and ask's you to move out ,or you decide you want to meet somebody

Its not right deceiving your kids , everything is not all happy it could lead to other problems for them in the future ,

Staying for the kids will eventually lead to resentments on both sides ,
Your better off explaining to the kids in a controlled manner that mammy and daddy arent happy

TheBoffin

I think the setup you have now is healthy, nobody is firing the pots and pans about and you have breathing space.

Have you considered maybe trying to save the marriage over time. The fact that you are both under the same roof and getting along has got to count for something. Sleeping in different rooms is nothing unusual, some couples prefer it and yet live a healthy relationship.

Taltos

OP - per site rules do not open the same thread in multiple forums - that is known as spamming and regularly results in instant bans being issued. I am closing this thread instead of the one in RI as RI seem most appropriate to your issue at the moment.

Thanks
Taltos