She's just not that into you?

LegacyUser

Been seeing a girl for about 2 months, get on great and haven't experienced an awkward silence yet.
Asked if she wanted to take things further today (be my gf) she said she wasnt sure she's ready for a relationship (gave no reason why, although did say something like 'we basically are already') and wanted to just keep things the way they were.
Made plans to see each other tomorrow but she texted me and asked to cancel (said she needs down time as she's been working all week and has plans tomorrow evening).

Cut my losses and run for the hills?
Keep going with what she wants, don't change things?

Czarcasm

Cut your losses OP and save both yourselves the head melt. You said in your opening sentence you get on great, but by the end you're wondering should you cut your losses and run for the hills?

That sounds very immature tbh to be embarrassed just because she asked to cancel your plans when something else came up. Plans don't work out all the time, but if you're genuinely interested in the other person, you don't bolt at the first perceived sign of possible humiliation.

Try to chill the jets a small bit OP, if you try to force something with someone, you're pretty much doomed to failure already.

December2012

Calm down - you're being very reactive.

It's demanding to not allow somebody change their plans. And now it's a dumpable offence?

How do you go from wanting to be somebody's boyfriend to calling the whole thing off over a cancelled date.

If you are looking for exclusivity there's nothing wrong with that. Be honest and straight and talk with her and listen to her next time you see each other.

There's no rush.

LegacyUser

sheeit wrote: »

Been seeing a girl for about 2 months, get on great and haven't experienced an awkward silence yet.
Asked if she wanted to take things further today (be my gf) she said she wasnt sure she's ready for a relationship (gave no reason why, although did say something like 'we basically are already') and wanted to just keep things the way they were.
Made plans to see each other tomorrow but she texted me and asked to cancel (said she needs down time as she's been working all week and has plans tomorrow evening).

Cut my losses and run for the hills?
Keep going with what she wants, don't change things?

I would cut my loses. I think you have a gut feeling about this and when you do have that feeling its best to go with it no matter what way its spun.
Trust your instincts and knock this one on the head.

blatantrereg

Just ask her why she's not ready for a relationship.
Maybe she doesn't feel she's in a good place emotionally or otherwise to commit to someone. Maybe she just wants to keep her options open or be available to other people.
If you want her to be your gf then the latter is likely to be unacceptable to you, but the former might be something you find reasonable enough.
If you do ask, make sure to frame the question in the context of trying to gain understanding. Otherwise you might seem like you are trying to badger her into a relationship when she has just said no.

alias06

I went through the exact same thing as this a few months back. Really liked the girl. But gut feel I knew she wasn't really that into me. Cancelled on me a few times and then she ended it. You would know if a girl is into you. If she starts cancelling on you for fairly flimsy reasons that's a big warning sign. She basically said she is too tired to meet you (can't be bothered) and she has something else on the following evening. If she was into you (especially in the early stages of a relationship) she would be dropping everything to meet you. To be honest I think she has already told you that she is not that into you. You could wait to meet her again but if you do I would ask her straight out how she thinks the relationship is going and how she feels about you. Don't wait until she goes off with someone else or dumps you.

Matteroffact

If she said she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now that means she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If she felt the same as you do she would not answer like that, nor would she cancel a date. I don't believe that giving her space will change anything. I would not waste any more time on her to be honest. You got your answer, even if it is in a roundabout way. She is just not that into you and finding out now is a positive thing.

Tramps Like Us

Just say to her that you really like her and want to be in a proper relationship, and if she doesnt thats ok but in that case you want to go your separate ways.

You will probably get a crap answer but it's bes to know.