Huge Crush

Laoislas

Hey

I need some advice. I always thought myself as straight but a few years ago I was attracted to another girl. We got together and had a relationship for 2 years. I only ever told one person and she told no-one. I loved her and was very upset when it didnt work out. I presumed it was a once off.

But lately I find myself attracted to girls and not guys at all. I play sport and have developed a giant crush for a girl on my team. I was told in passing that she is a lesbian but I can't b sure. I don't know if she is in a relationship or not.
I'm worried that if I tell her how I feel that it'll blow up in my face if shes not gay or shes in a relationship or if she just doesn't like me. I wouldnt even know how to tell her and I don't want to make team activities embarrsing or uncomfortable.
Am I bi? What should I do about the girl on my team? Im worried that she thinks Im a weirdo as Iv been making a big effort to talk to her

Sorry if this is all over the place. I just need advice! Thanks guys

poundapunnet

Are you friends with the girls on facebook? It's usually a handy way of getting an idea about people that way.

If she was gay and was single would you act on it? Were you attracted to her before you found out she might be gay or is it a bit of a "the only two gays in the village" thing? (I've been there.)

I don't know how other people feel but I'm not a big fan of feeling like you're obliged to "pick a team", or put a timescale on figuring out your sexual preferences. The heart wants what the heart wants and ditto for the fanny Nobody can tell you if you're gay or bi or anything else, and you don't have to slap a name on yourself if you don't want to.

Also have you been able to talk to anyone about the previous break up? I can't imagine what it's like to keep a two year relationship a secret, let alone a difficult break up on top of it.

Laoislas

Thanx for the reply! I'm friends with her on Facebook but I can't figure anything out from her page.there's not much up!I've been a serious Facebook stalker the last few weeks but am none the wiser! :-D
I think if I knew She was gay and single I would tell her i like her. (with a lot of psyching up).
I was curious about her before I knew She might be gay but it did escalate when I found out She might b.I realised there was a chance then that something could maybe happen.
Regarding labelling I'm very confused.my sisters gay u see so I thought that meant I couldn't be so when I started having feelings for girls I was very surprised!I haven't even told my sister about my feelings.
Regarding the other relationship-I haven't spoken to anyone.I'm still friends with my ex and we have mutual friends.she's sure she's straight and doesn't want anyone to know.its messy!:-/

poundapunnet

In my experience, if someone doesn't have the "interested in" section filled in on facebook it means they're not straight, that's not a definite thing but I've found it a fairly effective rule of thumb!

I'm not surprised you're confused you poor thing, but I'd imagine all this secrecy is making it all feel like much more of a "dirty" secret than it would otherwise. Is there anyone you know and trust you could talk to you about this? Your sister maybe. It's all well and good talking on here but actually saying the words out loud makes a big difference like.

As for the girl, how does she react when you make such a big effort to talk to her? The more time you spend with her the more likely you are to find out if she's gay and single, or even just make up some story about being in the George and ask her if she's ever been or something.

Laoislas

Ok that sounds promising! There is no 'interested in' information. When I talk to her, shes friendly back but I don't know if she's any different with me than with anyone else. Once I thought she was kinda hanging back to talk to me but that could have been wishful thinking This is a ridiculous question but- when gay girls are hitting on each other is it subtle? or would you just come right out n say it? Im trying to figure out how embarrasing it could be to just bite the bullet with her. What do u think?

Im kind of embarrsed to talk to anyone. I dont know why. Maybe because my sister is gay and Im worried people will b like Im copying her or like 2gays in one family haha.Thats stupid I know! Is it weird though (2 in one family)? I might try and talk to one of my siblings about it. I just dont want to back myself into a corner. Thanks again!

Doug89

The two in one family doesn't seem to be ALL that rare actually.

I'm horrible at hitting on girls, I never have any idea are they just being nice, or is it a thing, I would never in my life come out and say it...so that's my opinion on that one!

poundapunnet

Doug89 wrote: »

I'm horrible at hitting on girls, I never have any idea are they just being nice, or is it a thing

Ditto, if it wasn't for gaydar I'd have very few dates (I hate the scene)! Occasionally I get drunk and confident and it's a bit



but I can't in good conscience recommend that

Laoislas

Thanx guys!I think il bide my time for a while and try and suss her out!chances r she wont b interested in someone who is peeking curiously out of the closet :-D but u never know!I'm willing to experiment n try n see what I want!Thanx for helping me understand things a bit better.

Doug89

Dropping an aul 'I was in the George blah blah blah' casually is also a go-er.