What should i think about this?

ippn1

Recently I met a 26 years old woman (online dating site) and we had 2 dates so far.

1st date - the conversation went smoothly but she was not showing any signs of attraction almost entire date. The last half hour she showed some signs of interest (flicking her hair multiple times, laughing a lot...). I touched her few times while we were talking, but I didnt go for the kiss at the end of the date. I texted her after the date It was nice to meet her and that im not regreting I asked her out and that she seems like a nice girl. She replied she liked the date and that we should see each other again...

I thought she was just being nice but the day after that she texted me what am i doing and how am i... so i was kinda surprised and thought she is somewhat interested. So I arranged 2nd date.

2nd date we talked a lot, she smiled a lot and we got along well (conversation wise). I was planning to touch her more (escalate) during the date, but she had very defensive body language (crossed legs, not facing me, lack of eye contact) so i didnt touch her at all. We talked for 2 hours. At the end I went for a kiss but since she hasnt showed much attraction towards me I kissed her only on a chick...
So i thought that was it... but after couple of minutes she texted me it was nice seeing me again...

So i dont know where Im going with this one. Its confusing -she is not flirtatious during the dates but is showing interested during texts. I invited her out again (tomorrow) and she gladly responded and agreed to come. Am i heading towards friendzone??? i feel there is no sexual attraction between us and im often wondering does she even find me attractive... What do you think? How should I proceed on our next date?

myshirt

You are overthinking it.

Go on the third date and relax a bit, keep it natural, focus on enjoying the evening rather than mechanically assessing it at different intervals.

Try a meal, and a comedy after - something that will allow good conversation, and a smile.

If you are not comfortable after date 3, maybe it's not working, but for now, go for it, ease up a bit.

scarymoon1

Sounds like she's shy. She does seem interested so take things slowly

CaraMay

Is say she is shy and nervous but doing her best to egg you on.

Merkin

She sounds quite interested although your terminology sounds very clinical and contrived, I.e. escalate. Are you using that sarging book by any chance?

If not, you just need to lob the gob tbh. A good snog is normally a good indication of how interested your date is

ManOfMystery

I think there's a danger that you're approaching these dates with a textbook mentality.

i.e. Date 1: Friendly, informal, light conversation, some mutual body language
Date 2: Deeper conversation, holding hands, possible kiss/peck on cheek
Date 3 : Fall in love, sleep together
Date 4 : Marriage
Date 5 : zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ok, I joke, but you get my point. Stop approaching it so clinically and assessing the evening minute by minute. Just relax, turn the clock off and enjoy your time together. And at the end, if it 'feels' right to go in for the kiss, do so regardless of what signals you have perceived her as giving out over the course of the date and previous dates. It will either feel right or it won't.

There's no timescale to these things; every couple have their own dynamics. The important thing is to be relaxed, and you'll both enjoy the date more.

Faith

Merkin wrote: »

She sounds quite interested although your terminology sounds very clinical and contrived, I.e. escalate. Are you using that sarging book by any chance?

I wondered this too. Your terminology and way of describing the dates kind of unsettled me, so if you are using that book, then stop. It makes men appear extremely creepy.

Other than that, relax. Stop analysing her body language. I often sit with my legs and arms crossed at the same time, even when I'm very relaxed. If someone was analysing my body language, they'd get the complete wrong answer.

Next date, go for a kiss. You say you feel no sexual attraction between the two of you, so use the kiss to gauge whether you're actually even attracted to her.

thegreatgonzo

Hi OP,

What are you doing on these dates? Can you go and do something that you both might like, I don't know a trip to the zoo or whatever that you can just chat and be natural and you aren't staring across from her looking at her body language like you are a lion watching a zebra in the Serengeti? I don't want to offend you but I'd find your mechanical approach a real turn off.
I never heard of that sarge thing but please, women are individuals. I laugh a lot, doesn't mean I fancy the person I'm talking to.

missierex

scarymoon1 wrote: »

Sounds like she's shy. She does seem interested so take things slowly

I agree completely. My current girlfriend is incredibly shy. We went on something like 5 dates before I finally lobbed the gob! Unlike your girl, I found conversation a bit strained, but like your situation, she would text afterwards and say she had fun.

Give it, and her a chance. If she was disinterested she wouldn't text and agree to further dates.