Should I walk away?

LegacyUser

Hey guys, was hoping for some advice on a situation that's left me very confused. I met this girl on an online dating site, we got along great from the start but unfortunately I ended up having to move away for a while so I got a bit distant from her as I didn't see the point in getting too close. I'll be moving back soon and a couple of months ago decided to start up contact again, didn't really expect a reply to be honest but I got one very quickly and since then we've hit it off even better than before.

The thing is, we've been talking almost every day since and I'm worried I'm starting to develop feelings for her. Normally I'd just say this straight up but she's said since the start she doesn't want anything serious. I'm not really sure what to do now, I feel like if I take a step back again I'll be letting her down, yet if I keep talking to her I might end up having stronger feelings. I almost let slip and just told her last night, the conversation was starting to go in that direction but I feel like id be putting unnecessary pressure on her since she's said she doesn't want anything serious. Any advice would be much appreciated!

Merkin

Have you actually met this person in the flesh?

LegacyUser

Good question, I should have been clearer about that. No, I haven't, and that's another important part, part of me thinks screw it that doesn't really matter, then the more rational part says of course it matters.

Idle Passerby

If your contact with this girl has always been online I don't really get why you moving somewhere for a few months made you decide to break it off. Surely physical distance isnt an issue with someone you only interact with online?

She is probably wary of getting too involved with you since you broke it off before, so she's keeping a relaxed approach, which is probably what you should do aswell. You like keeping in touch with each other, maybe the two of you could meet in person when you get back and see how it goes from there. Realistically you are just penpals (or the online equivalent) until you meet in person. You wont really know if theres something worth pursuing til then.

LegacyUser

Idle Passerby wrote: »

If your contact with this girl has always been online I don't really get why you moving somewhere for a few months made you decide to break it off. Surely physical distance isnt an issue with someone you only interact with online?

She is probably wary of getting too involved with you since you broke it off before, so she's keeping a relaxed approach, which is probably what you should do aswell. You like keeping in touch with each other, maybe the two of you could meet in person when you get back and see how it goes from there. Realistically you are just penpals (or the online equivalent) until you meet in person. You wont really know if theres something worth pursuing til then.

Cheers, I dont think there's a single line of that post I disagree with. I dont really know why I decided that either, she seemed to be taking a liking to me at the time so I thought it would make things easier. Not saying that was right, just my logic at the time.

Yeah, that seems like sound advice, we've already spoken about meeting in person so I suppise I can see what happens then. I think I'm just over thinking things because I have too much time on my hands really.

LegacyUser

You havent met her yet? And you 'think' youre developing feelings for her!

Danger zone dude! No matter how much you think you may know her, or how close you guys feel, you dont (and I repeat...you dont!) really know her until you're sitting across a table from her, face to face, in the flesh! I've been there. Chatted for a long time online with people I thought I knew, thought I got on great with, but when youre eyeballing them it can be a totally different experience, and while the ladies I met were nice, who they said they were etc we just didnt have that link or spark in 'real life' as we assumed we had in 'virtual life'.

The longer you leave it, the worse its gonna be! Your mind fills in the blanks, creates these wonderful images of how things are....or should be.


Just meet her!! If you get on then super, if not, well then.........be online buddies if you can, or want. But dont start falling for someone you've never met and certainly DO NOT reveal said feelings.