No one to go out with

scarymoon1

Recently my weekends have involved staying at home. The people I used to go out with have new friends/boyfriends and so I'm not a priority anymore. I used to always include these people and invited them out but now they seem to have a better offer and so don't include me anymore. It annoys me a bit as they know I'm at home yet don't include me.

I joined a club to make new friends during the summer but got involved with a guy there and it didn't work out so I left. I shouldn't have got involved with him as the club was good, I didn't go back because I didn't want to face him. There are work nights out now and again but not often. I feel like such a Billy no mates. My ex got back in touch recently and was in contact every day then out of no where he just stopped texting me. My last 2 texts were ignored. He is single by the way. Why do I attract such selfish people into my life?!

wirelessdude01

Just go back to your club and stop being silly. The fact that you have had a fling with someone there shouldn't mean you stop it. And re the ex I would be 100% sure he isn't single or else he guessed you weren't just going to get into the sack with him straight away so he decided why waste my time with the chase.

December2012

I don't think it's fair to expect people to want to hang around with you just because you have nobody else or are on your own. To me, that actually sounds more selfish.

And maybe that's why you attract people who you call selfish.

You need to be proactive about your own social life. Look at meetup.com to find something that might interest you. Or boards beers.

ivytwine

It doesn't sound like things ended hideously with your ex so why would you avoid him? Unfortunately we all have to deal with our exes and it's best to just get on with it.

I think meetup is great, been using it since I moved, and while I haven't been able to go to as many things as I'd like (financial and work constraints) I could go to events most nights of the week if I wanted. Which is great!

Accept every invite that comes your way, because people will not come bashing down your door. That's not selfishness, in my opinion, it's the way things are. You have to meet people halfway to have a social life.

Not sure what age you are but I find nowadays (25 soon) that people are less into mad nights in clubs and more having a few in pubs or at home. That's not a reflection on you or your worth, just the ageing process.

scarymoon1

I agree I need to be proactive in my social life. I just kind it annoying these so called friends want to go to the cinema and for food with me etc during the week but at weekends when they are with their boyfriends and other friends I'm not invited! It's like I'm an option when there's nothing else on for them.

fillefatale

I agree, just go back to the club and suck it up. There might be awkwardness between you and this guy, but you enjoyed it before things ended badly so why should a silly fling precent you from enjoying it?

baby and crumble

scarymoon1 wrote: »

I agree I need to be proactive in my social life. I just kind it annoying these so called friends want to go to the cinema and for food with me etc during the week but at weekends when they are with their boyfriends and other friends I'm not invited! It's like I'm an option when there's nothing else on for them.

To be honest OP, maybe they're saving their weekends for other people since they see you during the week? When you have a few different 'sets' of friends you have to budget your time for each. I mean, one of my absolute best friends I now 'only' see once a week for lunch, and then we have a fortnightly 'board game' night since he's married and has a new baby. I'm not going to get pissy about that, since he has other priorities. But so do I. I hardly ever go out at weekends anymore, I tend to spend that time on my home, relaxing by myself or with my girlfriend.

TBH op you sound a little bit like you expect to be entertained by your friends on a pretty regular basis. That'd put me right off really...

scarymoon1

baby and crumble wrote: »

To be honest OP, maybe they're saving their weekends for other people since they see you during the week? When you have a few different 'sets' of friends you have to budget your time for each. I mean, one of my absolute best friends I now 'only' see once a week for lunch, and then we have a fortnightly 'board game' night since he's married and has a new baby. I'm not going to get pissy about that, since he has other priorities. But so do I. I hardly ever go out at weekends anymore, I tend to spend that time on my home, relaxing by myself or with my girlfriend.

TBH op you sound a little bit like you expect to be entertained by your friends on a pretty regular basis. That'd put me right off really...

I don't expect it no but when it was the other way around a few months ago I had them ringing me and 'upset' if I didn't want to go out with them or had other plans

baby and crumble

scarymoon1 wrote: »

I don't expect it no but when it was the other way around a few months ago I had them ringing me and 'upset' if I didn't want to go out with them or had other plans

Well then in all honesty you all sound incredibly immature. People should spend time with each other because they want their company not because they're just bored. Quality not quantity.

ivytwine

scarymoon1 wrote: »

I don't expect it no but when it was the other way around a few months ago I had them ringing me and 'upset' if I didn't want to go out with them or had other plans

Do you actually like these people scarymoon or are they just there to go out with?

As Baby and Crumble said, quality not quantity. I'd rather head out once a month and have a fantastic fun night than head out every Saturday and not really enjoy it.

OzzieD

Hi

Im going to see the sterophonices next tuesday in the 02 one male and one female just friends if you would like to join us feel free

get out there and get involved.