Looking for some kind of advice

EmCalla89

I'm 24 and I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 5 years. We live together and have 2 dogs. Over the past year I've found myself seeing him more and more as a friend than a boyfriend. We never have sex and there's no romance. I still love him but I'm not sure if I'm 'in' love with him.
About a month ago we both started college courses. I've made loads of new friends but am finding myself attracted to one guy really badly. I've had crushes on guys before during these 5 years but this is getting really bad. I can't stop thinking about this other guy and then feel really guilty because I'm thinking it's wrong cause of my boyfriend but then i think about whether i'm in love with my boyfriend anymore and my head just begins to hurt.
I've been really anxious and panicking about this for a week and it's getting harder and harder as time goes by. The other guy is also friends with my boyfriend.
Can someone please give me some kind of advice. I'm so confused

Virgil°

EmCalla89 wrote: »

I'm 24 and I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 5 years. We live together and have 2 dogs. Over the past year I've found myself seeing him more and more as a friend than a boyfriend. We never have sex and there's no romance. I still love him but I'm not sure if I'm 'in' love with him.
About a month ago we both started college courses. I've made loads of new friends but am finding myself attracted to one guy really badly. I've had crushes on guys before during these 5 years but this is getting really bad. I can't stop thinking about this other guy and then feel really guilty because I'm thinking it's wrong cause of my boyfriend but then i think about whether i'm in love with my boyfriend anymore and my head just begins to hurt.
I've been really anxious and panicking about this for a week and it's getting harder and harder as time goes by. The other guy is also friends with my boyfriend.
Can someone please give me some kind of advice. I'm so confused

Forget about this other guy for the moment. It's quite likely this crush is a result of you currently being unhappy with your boyfriend.

Unfortunately it sounds like your relationship has run its course. Do you even want to try re-ignite it? If you don't, you owe it to your boyfriend to break up with him now. Right now. Every moment you hesitate is a moment your boyfriend could be getting over you towards meeting the right person.

You must remember as well while your feelings towards you boyfriend have waned his may not have.He may know nothing of your feelings. If so this will likely be crushing news for him while you're essentially already two thirds of the way to recovery.

It doesn't make you a bad person to break up with him because you've fallen out of love. This is a common thing. Staying with him longer while you test the waters with this new guy WOULD however be a very unkind thing to do.
Even breaking up with him to go out with his mate would also be cold. Although technically you could do what you want at that stage.

Think long and hard about it OP. But then make a decision one way or another and then follow through.

Best of luck.

fionan

I agree. Don't do anything with your crush, but deal with the relationship you're in, and be good to the man you love.

Once that's all taken care of, the world is your oyster (including the new guy).

Best of luck!