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child thinks his surname is mothers boyfriends surname.

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  • 25-10-2013 9:20pm
    #1
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭


    Not sure how to handle this one. Can this legally happen if they marry? She will go mental if i mention it, but I want this stopped now. I'm a Fully involved paid up dad and I'm on the birth cert. We were not married. Considering they are not married this is a ludicrous situation yes?


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    #2
    Victor
    Registered Users Posts: 78,267 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    How certain are you that they haven't married?

    If they wished to change the child's name, I imagine they would need your permission.


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    #3
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    I'm certain for the next few months.


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    #4
    patsypantaloni
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭patsypantaloni


    Are you a guardian of your son (by court order or statutory declaration?)


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    #5
    Pro Hoc Vice
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,087 ✭✭✭Pro Hoc Vice


    Victor wrote: »
    How certain are you that they haven't married?

    If they wished to change the child's name, I imagine they would need your permission.

    Depends on when they married under the civil registration act in relation to birth of child.


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    #6
    Sacksian
    Registered Users Posts: 1,895 ✭✭✭Sacksian


    Surely whatever name the child uses and is known by becomes his de facto name?

    So, if he wants to use Johnny X for school and his mam lets him, I don't think you can force him legally not to.

    Is it not the same as if he started using the Irish version of his name? I don't see where permission necessarily comes into it.


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    #7
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    patsypantaloni wrote: »
    Are you a guardian of your son (by court order or statutory declaration?)

    I am joint legal guardian by court order


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    #8
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    Sacksian wrote: »
    Surely whatever name the child uses and is known by becomes his de facto name?

    So, if he wants to use Johnny X for school and his mam lets him, I don't think you can force him legally not to.

    Is it not the same as if he started using the Irish version of his name? I don't see where permission necessarily comes into it.
    He's not in a position to make that decision.. He's not even 2! It was a case that my neice was testing his words and asked his name and he said the wrong surname!


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    #9
    GarIT
    Registered Users Posts: 8,671 ✭✭✭GarIT


    My father had a court order made that my name could not be changed until I reached 18. You may still be able to do the same. This was around '97 or '98 though.


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    #10
    Tigger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,707 ✭✭✭✭Tigger


    He can use whatever surname he chooses they often use their mothers surname
    But if she is marrying her beau and taking his name then he will probably take the common name.
    Were you married to the mother and did she take your name ? If not surely his name is her name.


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    #11
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    Tigger wrote: »
    He can use whatever surname he chooses they often use their mothers surname
    But if she is marrying her beau and taking his name then he will probably take the common name.
    Were you married to the mother and did she take your name ? If not surely his name is her name.

    Yes and I can live with that... Its just very weird hearing him refer to himself by a strange unrelated name...


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    #12
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    GarIT wrote: »
    My father had a court order made that my name could not be changed until I reached 18. You may still be able to do the same. This was around '97 or '98 though.

    How do you feel about that? Do you think I should let it go?


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    #13
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    I guess my biggest concern is the fact they are not married....does that not sound weird?


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    #14
    GarIT
    Registered Users Posts: 8,671 ✭✭✭GarIT


    Ash.J.Williams wrote: »
    How do you feel about that? Do you think I should let it go?

    Any answer I could give would be highly biased based on my family situation. If you are a good parent, and plan to be around and involved I don't see any issue in making sure that the child's mother doesn't change it's name until the child can decide for itself, but that is me, how your child will feel is a complete unknown. All I can say is it can be done and if I was the father I would be looking to do this as soon as possible.


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    #15
    GarIT
    Registered Users Posts: 8,671 ✭✭✭GarIT


    Ash.J.Williams wrote: »
    I guess my biggest concern is the fact they are not married....does that not sound weird?

    Even if they were married it wouldn't matter. At most she could try to change the child's name to hers, there is no way she would get away with changing it to his once you have made it clear that it is not ok.


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    #16
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    GarIT wrote: »
    Any answer I could give would be highly biased based on my family situation. If you are a good parent, and plan to be around and involved I don't see any issue in making sure that the child's mother doesn't change it's name until the child can decide for itself, but that is me, how your child will feel is a complete unknown. All I can say is it can be done and if I was the father I would be looking to do this as soon as possible.
    I think it's my sons decision and I should stick to my guns and certainly ensure the birth cert remains the same until that day...yeah I'm a fully active and proud parent and plan to remain so!


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    #17
    johnnyskeleton
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Politics Moderators Posts: 14,469 Mod ✭✭✭✭johnnyskeleton


    Ash.J.Williams wrote: »
    How do you feel about that? Do you think I should let it go?

    I think you should speak to people in the parenting forum for practical advice on how to deal with such situations.

    If you go down the route of "the Internet told me you can't legally call him X" you might only inflame a delicate situation.


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    #18
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,865 ✭✭✭✭January


    johnnyskeleton wrote: »
    I think you should speak to people in the parenting forum for practical advice on how to deal with such situations.

    If you go down the route of "the Internet told me you can't legally call him X" you might only inflame a delicate situation.

    We can't give legal advice, here or on the Parenting forum.

    Unfortunately OP, while it is a bit of a weird one, your son can call himself whatever name he wants. I know it has probably been influenced by his mother but unless you speak to a solicitor to see if you can stop the usage of the name you won't know for sure if it's ok or not.


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    #19
    Cody Pomeray
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,648 ✭✭✭Cody Pomeray


    infosys wrote: »
    Depends on when they married under the civil registration act in relation to birth of child.
    Just out of curiosity, can you expand on this?

    I can see how the child's date of birth (pre or post 2004) can of some relevance in terms of civil registrations, but not the parents' marriage, if any.


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    #20
    Pro Hoc Vice
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,087 ✭✭✭Pro Hoc Vice


    Cody Pomeray wrote: »
    Just out of curiosity, can you expand on this?

    I can see how the child's date of birth (pre or post 2004) can of some relevance in terms of civil registrations, but not the parents' marriage, if any.


    Was pissed when I posted that, I think I misunderstood the thread. I think I was saying that the child's birth cert could only be changed if his parents married. Which is not what this thread is about. Bloody jazz festival and drinks after work.


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