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Creativity and Depression.

  • 24-10-2013 12:15pm
    #1
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 9,047 CMod ✭✭✭✭


    No I am not dead, just smell that way.

    The truth is that I have been quiet for quite a while. You may have noticed?

    Seem to be getting back to normal again now. I was suffering from depression for quite a while. As a consequence I was being given Antidepressant medication. I would not recommend them, though was convinced they were a necessary evil. My observations were that they did seem to take away the worst of feeling down but they also seemed to reduce the joy when happy.

    What I really noticed was my ability to take photo's was reduced to almost nil. Sure I could go through the mechanics of it but nothing was satisfying. Sure there were shots that others liked but I did not really like them myself.

    No I have removed these potions from my life and things seem to be bouncing back. It has taken a while.

    Anyone else experienced this? Maybe others have had different experiences?

    Anyway that's what happened to me in a nutshell.


Comments

  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 50,890 CMod ✭✭✭✭magicbastarder


    thankfully, i've never suffered from depression, but i do remember reading interviews with kristin hersh about creativity and depression; not quite what you're talking about with your experiences with antidepressants, but probably worth reading. she hates the fact that people link creativity and depression.
    here's one where she discusses it briefly:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flDRlrsK1cI&noredirect=1


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,742 ✭✭✭✭thebaz


    I really wish you well - a few years ago when I stopped drinking , i went into a dark place that no one understood , i was meant to feal normal and happy , but didn't - in despair I began taking pictures and it helped me somewhat in my recovery - today I find if I am very dark I have no interest in photography, if I am very happy and stable , my pictures look bland - its how I see the world - many of my favourite artists were tortured souls, from Rothko to Van Gough - its the only positive I see in depression , that it can push you in a different direction , but it is a horrible price to pay - and obviously no guarantee - picasso seamed a reasonably happy guy - wish you well mate - the one thing that keeps me going , is life constantly changes , from good to bad and back to good.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 9,047 CMod ✭✭✭✭CabanSail


    Thanks Baz.

    Think the bad days are long behind me now. Sure I still have low days but that's not really depression.

    Looking back I wish I never started on the tablets. My feeling is that it was their effect that stripped my creativity. Without them I feel I may have produced some dark work but at least it would have been something. Instead the drugs created a void.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,182 ✭✭✭Tiriel


    Glad to have you back - a very honest and open post there. Everyone is made up differently, we can't all be wired the same way and sometimes by propping ourselves up artificially we dim our own light, no matter how dim it may already be. Sometimes though, it's just what we have to do.

    Creativity for me thrives on having that 'spark' inside, that little buzz that makes you turn around or stoop lower, look from another angle. When you're not feeling the may west, there's a lethargy and a couldn't be bothered sort of a feel to what I do.

    Sometimes that can turn out something different - possibly bleak - but most likely I won't like it as it feels meh. It doesn't have the spark and neither did I when taking it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,032 ✭✭✭homerun_homer


    Glad to hear you are back in good form Cabansail.

    I've had issues in the past and been on medication temporarily, and while in my case I wouldn't blame medication, I find I just can't be any bit creative when depressed. This goes for motivation to take photos, playing music (I've a load of different instruments hanging around my place) and so on.

    Looking forward to seeing more of your photos on the here now that you're feeling better.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,561 ✭✭✭andy_g


    Welcome back CabanSail. I know the feeling and wish it on no one having been through the dark side myself just without the tablets.

    Created some dark photography at that stage. On the plus side we learn from it, become better people and slowly move on being happier. Yes we still get the odd bad day but who doesnt :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 132 ✭✭PhinglasPhil


    Sorry to read about your depression and it's effects upon you. (Not to mention family and friends.)
    Welcome back - I missed your images.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,407 ✭✭✭Promac


    What meds were you on? Sounds like Lithium - is it major depressive disorder? I've refused that kind of medication for a long time because of the exact side-effects you just experienced. I have bipolar disorder and it includes major depression as one of the symptoms. With bipolar you can't really do normal depression meds so you have to go on stuff like lithium to even you out and major depression can be the same. Just makes you bland and dull and unmotivated.

    The drugs can be great if depression catches you unawares and you're not used to dealing with such strong emotions so they do have a place for some people but they are not good for creativity as they actively try to average out your mood.

    Fair play for explaining your position. Mental health should be as open and accepted as physical health.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,944 ✭✭✭pete4130


    I'm glad your back :)

    I've actually noticed your absence the past few months and missed you. I definitely need to make a trip up to see you soon.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 9,047 CMod ✭✭✭✭CabanSail


    No ... not Lithium.

    It was some sort of SSRI variant. Cannot recall the name, nothing too major.

    I must say that DeVore has been an inspiration for me. He is so open about his issues. This has helped me to recover and also to be very open about it. The project that SineadW did on What Stigma? also helped. I was honoured to be part of that and did not know at the time it would soon aid me.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,407 ✭✭✭Promac


    Yeah I think what DeVore has done on here alone has made a real difference to a lot of people.

    I'd have loved to have been part of Sinead's thing but we'd already left for NZ by then.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,273 ✭✭✭twowheelsonly


    I've been that soldier too, in fact my experiences sound a lot like yours.
    My worst episode, and the only time I took medication, was a number of years ago now but scared both myself and many of those around me. It's amazing that you can actually go so deep that you really don't care about anything anymore.
    Thanks to some great people (and medication!!) I eventually 'straightened out' and got back on track.

    I understand exactly what you mean by your creativity being stunted. I put it down to just not giving a f*** about anything. In the darkest days, when people tried talking to me, praising or encouraging me, I just didn't want to know. I knew their intentions were good and I knew they made sense but I just didn't care. Absolutely frightening when you look back on it from a more stable viewpoint.

    Nowadays I've learned to recognise the triggers and anticipate the bad days and throw myself into something that occupies my mind and tides me over. A matter of hours can make all the difference.
    It's me, it's part of who I am. Most people would see me as chilled out and happy go lucky but those closest to me know my moods, probably better than I do!!

    Great to see you on the road to recovery Cabansail. Onward and upward. take the bad days as just that - a bad day. Once it's gone it's gone and doesn't matter any more so the next day can be a good day all over again.

    Looking forward to seeing your next creative streak !!

    Cheers, and well done for speaking out.


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