Vasectomy at 27

McSnipperson

Hi all

As per the title, I'm considering getting a vasectomy but would like to hear some feedback from other people before I make my final decision, especially others who may have had the snip at a relatively young age. I'm 27, single, don't have any kids and have been considering this for about two years. I decided a few years ago that I don't want to have any children and it's something I feel pretty strongly about now. I've considered the negative impact this may have on potential fair maidens but my reasoning is that, if they feel so strongly about wanting kids, they're probably not right person for me.

The thoughts of getting someone pregnant terrifies me and, without wanting to sound blunt, would ruin my life in a lot of ways. Even with condoms/her on the pill etc, I still have these fears.

I'm pretty up to speed as to the actual procedure and costs involved. I realise reversal is potentially an option if I were to change my mind in the future, but it's not always successful so I'll be making this decision based on it being a permanent thing.

Has anyone else had a vasectomy at my age? Is it something you've regretted in the future? Looking back at myself a few years ago, I thought I knew it all back then but I realise I've learned a lot since - I'm worried that, while I think I know what I want from my life now, I'm possibly being naive about the whole thing. FWIW, I don't think I'm being naive about this.

Thanks

Monkey Allen

Hard to be certain of anything at any stage of your life. Although, life shouldn't be about trying to keep all options available just in case. A vasectomy can be reversible with the risk of a vasovastostomy not being successful. If you have 2 or 3 years of being snipped, you have a good window to go back to get it reversed. However, I believe that is a far more painful, long and expensive procedure.

If I was you, I'd not get one done. They are not entirely 100% guaranteed to prevent pregnancy. Not sure what the risk is for other contraception. Maybe you need to analyse further your reasons for believing why having kids would mess up your life.

I think you're putting a lot of thought into something that has a very small chance of happening if you take the right precautions.

Also, and this may not need to be said, perhaps if you got a vasectomy, you might be more inclined to have unprotected sex with a person you just met. Obviously this involves far greater risks than getting someone pregnant.

bp

You usually are made see a counsellor before the procedure to talk through why you want one.

You also send samples every 'x' number of months to check if it has worked.

If you are sure you want one great, go for it but just bear in mind you are still young and may meet someone in the next few years and change your mind.

Obliq

Interestingly, there is a procedure known as the vasectomy injection that was developed in India but has taken 30 years to get to proper approval stage, and you still have no access to this procedure unfortunately. Presumably because there is little call for it, women in general being the ones to carry the burden of effective contraception such as the IUD, tubal ligation, the pill, etc.

This would be just up your street I'd say OP, since it would be a very reversible but 10 year worry free contraception. Pity nobody is lobbying for it to be speeded up a bit! I have the IUD, but women who haven't had children are not recommended to get it put in....lots of younger women out there (who's only realistic option is a mood altering hormonal treatment) would love to see this come on the market, I can tell you

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reversible_inhibition_of_sperm_under_guidance

http://ie.askmen.com/sports/health_400/490_the-injectable-vasectomy-would-you-do-it.html

I've included the second link because of the last line in the article, which is quite telling really.

"Is this sexual freedom in a syringe, or just a nutty solution to a problem that doesn't need fixing?" Hmm. Yup, doesn't need fixing because at the end of the day any unwanted pregnancy is a woman's problem?

OP, may I say that I think you're being very cool about wanting to take responsibility for your fertility in this way. I'm just sorry the injection option isn't available to you yet.

Beruthiel

McSnipperson wrote: »

I'm considering getting a vasectomy but would like to hear some feedback from other people before I make my final decision, especially others who may have had the snip at a relatively young age. I'm 27, single, don't have any kids and have been considering this for about two years.

I had a daughter in my early twenties. At that point, I knew I would never be having any other children.
I went to the doctor to request my tubes be tied. They refused. Apparently I was too young to make that decision.

In Ireland, you will find it almost impossible to find a surgeon who will do the procedure before you hit 30.
Even less lightly if you have not fathered any children.

At 30 I returned to the doctor and got referred for the operation.
Best decision ever made.
It's a total weight off your shoulders knowing there can never be an unwanted pregnancy.
It's actually amazing how that can affect you, always that tiny worry buried at the back of your mind.

People say you will change your mind over time, on certain things that can be true.
But, I knew at age 23 that this was a decision that would never change. I felt very, very strongly about it. I have not wavered from that over the last 20 years.

When you are ready, go to your doctor and lay out your opinions on why you have taken this decision.
You will need to demonstrate that you are very serious about this and understand the ramifications.
If the doctor will not help, find one who will.

As an aside, all future partners should be told early on in a relationship so they know the lay of the land.
Best of luck.

banie01

OP, you will be hard pressed to find any doctor who will perform the procedure on a man of your age and even more so if you are not already a father.
I had my Vasectomy at the age of 29, and I had to attend some counselling sessions along with a couple of further informal chats with my G.P.
I have 1 child, and as the eldest of 8 children myself I always knew 1 was all I ever wanted and I was adamant that was my lot.

I was also widowed @2 and a half years prior to my vasectomy and the Counsellor and GP this was drilled away at as a reason for my wanting it done, which was quite upsetting at the time TBH along their adamant belief that I was robbing any future partner of the opportunity to have children with me, that I should consider this hypothetical person's biological clock!

Their was a huge focus upon how my ''choice'' was affecting any hypothetical future partner's ability to have a child, rather than on my choice to be certain I only had 1 child.(Interesting juxtaposition to the woman's body, woman's choice debate!)
While it will and does have a bearing on my future relationship, the focus in the pre vasectomy counseling really should be more on why the person wants the procedure and the impact it could have on them personally and in ensuring that it is the correct decision for the person...
Not with such an immediate focus on the impact it may have on some future hypothetical partner.

I'm happy with my choice still(almost 5yrs later) but it really is not a choice for everyone.
Think long and hard about it and remember the choice you make now, is a choice that will have a huge impact on your future relationships.

PS: Just to add I agree with Beruthiel. Its very important to let future partners know that kid's(even the accidental variety) are off the menu as soon as a relationship starts getting serious.
Its an awkward, but important and above all fair conversation to have before a woman invests herself in a relationship.

EDITJust to add, there is a fairly large thread on the snip over in the The Gentleman's Club http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=63262929

Beruthiel

banie01 wrote: »

TBH along their adamant belief that I was robbing any future partner of the opportunity to have children with me that I should consider this hypothetical person's biological clock

Yes. The exact same thing was said to me and my reply was that I have no intention of getting involved with anyone who wants children.
It is a weird thing to say to someone imo.
If I don't want children, I'm hardly likely to change my mind because a partner asks me to.
My decision was never that flippant!

mashedbanana

Hi Op, my husband had a vasectomy when he was 28. He had it done due to our last child's birth being a horrific experience. The child was quite unwell for months afterwards, but is now fine. I almost died at the time. I could quite have easily wiped the floor with the hospital at the time, had I wanted to. I came out of it all with my life, and our child got better too. So I 'let it go'.

This experience terrified my (normally unnerved) husband. He told me straight that it didn't matter how many children we had decided to have, we simply weren't going to have any more. He couldn't risk the same issues coming up again. He almost lost me and decided to have the procedure done, so I could't fall pregnant again.

There was no counselling offered at all, for us, it wasn't needed. The doctor gave us the details, of the doctor doing the procedures, and we made contact with him ourselves, arranged an appointment. I went with him on the day, and I sat flicking trough a magazine at one side of the room while himself was having the procedure done, at the other side of the room. I chatted to him frequently, and he chatted back. It wasn't one of those 'hold my hand dear' moments. But I was there for him, and thankfully allowed to be in the same room. Maybe that's changed with time. I can't remember rightly, but I think it took about a half hour. He causiously walked back to the car afterwards, and was given one of those cool ice packs that you pop & rub together to 'activate'. This he had perched on the jewels, for the car journey home.

I won't lie, he was sore for the first day or two, and was careful with himself. He was given an odd contraption of a thing, that he had to tie around his waist, it had just a pouch at the front, this was to support the jewels you see, well one of the days he was going to the loo, just as he was about to sit down, he wiped the pants down, caught the band around his waist...thus, pulling down the pouch too, and proceeded to pull out one of the stitches!!!!!!! God love him, this didn't help with the soreness. I don't now what advice they give nowadays, or what sort of strapping to support they offer. But that's what he got.

He paid €420 for it to be done, and he said it was the best €420 he had ever spent. He never again had to worry about me getting pregnant, I never again had to worry about taking the pill on time for contraception issues. The fear was gone. The panic was off.

I remember had had to 'evacuate' quite a number of times, before giving in the 2 samples, which at the time were 2 weeks part. This he quiet enjoyed. As he 'had' to do it. He now has a tiny scare on his jewels, and not a bother since.

Op, if you know, that you know, that you don't want kids, then maybe this is the route to go.

ShaShaBear

I have a darling little sister who was conceived three weeks after my father's vasectomy. The only full-proof contraception is abstinence.

I think you should at least wait, while some people are steadfast in their decisions, you might meet the woman of your dreams, and you might lose her due to the surgery. You have every right to not want kids, and like a woman does you have every right to take measures to prevent it, but using condoms and ensuring your sexual partner is on the pill is about as effective as you can get without refusing to have sex.

Jack B. Badd

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I have a darling little sister who was conceived three weeks after my father's vasectomy. The only full-proof contraception is abstinence.

In all fairness, that's user error. Three weeks isn't long enough to clear the backlog.

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I think you should at least wait, while some people are steadfast in their decisions, you might meet the woman of your dreams, and you might lose her due to the surgery. You have every right to not want kids, and like a woman does you have every right to take measures to prevent it, but using condoms and ensuring your sexual partner is on the pill is about as effective as you can get without refusing to have sex.

I'm happily child free & had my tubes tied a couple of years ago & received a similar response when I first spoke to my GP. It simply doesn't occur to some people that the "woman/man of your dreams" doesn't want children either. As if meeting someone will magically change your mind.

Nonetheless, if your mind is made up & you're articulate in your logic & discussion of the topic, you can make progress with the medical establishment (at least in the UK). I suggest getting in touch with Marie Stopes to discuss your options. My op was performed by them & they have people travel from Ireland to get sterilised (to the extent that they assumed I had travelled from Ireland rather than living in the UK when they heard my accent). Good luck

banie01

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I have a darling little sister who was conceived three weeks after my father's vasectomy. The only full-proof contraception is abstinence.

Well considering the recommendation is to continue practicing your normal contraception for at least 16 weeks post vasectomy and then only to consider the vasectomy being successful after 2 seperate clear sperm analysis
The fact that anyone relied on it as contraception after 3 weeks is quite frankly idiotic!

Jack B. Badd wrote: »

In all fairness, that's user error. Three weeks isn't long enough to clear the backlog.

User error is quite an understatement

ShaShaBear

banie01 wrote: »

Well considering the recommendation is to continue practicing your normal contraception for at least 16 weeks post vasectomy and then only to consider the vasectomy being successful after 2 seperate clear sperm analysis
The fact that anyone relied on it as contraception after 3 weeks is quite frankly idiotic!




User error is quite an understatement

You're just validating the point I am trying to make. Unless the op is vigilant with protection, he still has the same problem to contend with for months after his surgery.

McSnipperson

OP here again

Thanks for all the great advice, especially from people who have been through it before. It can be difficult to talk about this subject with people, most seem to want to push their "ah you'll grow up in a few years" agenda and this does my head in.

Obliq, I'm aware of RISUG - I think there was a thread in the Gentleman's Club about it. I read it a while back and it sounds perfect but by the time it's actually available, I'll be an old man. Pity.

ShaShaBear, I know that the result isn't instant and I'd still need to use protection for a few months. I'd rather having to use it for a few months than for the rest of my life.

I'm actually living in Australia at the moment so the docs will have no problem doing the procedure, providing it's what I want to do. They'll make sure I'm happy with my decision etc. but after that, they'll have no problem doing it, regardless of my age.

Mashed, thanks for the in-depth description - that's really what I was looking for - some first hand experience.

Banie and Beruthiel - I've taken that on board, I know it's something I'd need to let future partners about fairly early. As it is, I already let partners know that I don't want kids in the future so that part has been in practice for a while now.

Monkey - thanks for your opinion too, good to hear one from the other side of the coin. When I say having a child would 'ruin my life', I'm perhaps sounding too harsh. There are certain freedoms I want to have in my life and fathering a child would seriously compromise this, both from a financial and logistic point of view. I'm not the sort of person who would skip off to the other side of the world if I got a girl pregnant. I'd want to hang around and be part of the child's life, pay my way etc. I'd rather not have that responsibility tbh. I quite like kids but I also like handing them back to their parents. The responsibility of having my own is not something I want in my life.

I'm going to go away and think about it a bit more and organise a consultation with a doc and take it from there. I'll update this thread if/when I come to a decision. Thanks all

ShaShaBear

To avoid STIs, you will have to use it for the rest of your life OP, unless you are in a committed relationship with someone you fully trust.