Long term relationship ended. I am lost!

LegacyUser

I am a regular poster on boards but going unreg for this.

So yesterday myself and my girlfriend broke up after 7 years together. It was a mutual break up as the two of us just dont get along the same way we used to. We were constantly fighting and bickering over the smallest things. The last 2 months have been by far the hardest and most strenuating of the relationship.

We are both young enough. I am 26 and she is 24, we recently moved in together along with 2 other roomates as I started a new job in Dublin (she has been living in Dublin for the last year). It was our first time living together and we really thought it was bringing the relationship to the next level and would introduce a new spark between us but alas it has done nothing but drive us further apart from one another.

I know its only day one of the break up but I am seriously struggling. She was my best friend for the last 7 years and the thought of not seeing her let alone not being able to talk to her has me in absolute bits. Our lives are so intertwined I cannot even fathom the thought of how I am going to go on without her in my life. The thought that I will never hug her or kiss her again, or even see her friends, her dog, her family or be in her house seems so alien and so wrong. I am really close with her brother and sister and her father has been like a father to me over the years (my father passed away when I was really young). The thought of never seeing them has me so scared.

Im also worried about her. As I said this was a mutual break up but she has also started a new job recently and most of her friends are living at the other side of Dublin so she rarely gets to see them. I know she is struggling with alot of things in her own life. I dont want to sound patronising and cocky but I hope she is going to be ok. She was really upset yesterday when we decided that enough was enough and I am really worried about her as she doesnt deal with stress very well. Usually in situations involving stress I would always be there for her to calm her down and take things off her mind. Am I stupid in worrying about her in this sense and should I just concentrate on my own issues?

This was my first serious relationship and my first proper break up and I feel my whole world has been turned upside down and I dont have a clue about how to start flipping it back over. I came back home last night and the thought of going back up to Dublin has me so sick. I just dont want to get out of bed.

maria34

So that happened just recently?

Why u broke up? Maybe its just hard time and it gets better after a while. Every couple has problems.

alias06

Day one after the break up of a seven year relationship is going to be terrible. There would be something seriously wrong if you didn't feel really awful after that. You are being hit with a number of major losses here: your girlfriend, her friends, family, etc. Its like a major bereavement and you need to look upon it as such. You have to allow yourself feel sad and be patient with yourself as you deal with this. This will hit you more at certain times more than others, it will come and go, that's grief. And bit by bit it gets better. There is no sugar coating it, this is a hard time. Everyone experiences heart ache at some point in their life, there's no escaping it unless you want to become a monk! Good luck.

chubnut

Sadly the only way of getting over someone is to meet others. The biggest trouble in your situation is you go around hang dog with a cart on your back and everyone sees it so they avoid you. Minimise the time you have to think by playing stupid online games, buy some new clothes, do something stupid, get a mentality that good things are just around the corner.

And then they just might be as everyone likes an up beat person as opposed to a hang dog.