New poem - attempting bad poetry

donfers

The man with the golden touch

He walks, he walks
but never falls
this steady peacock strut
as if by magic's clock
of another time
looking and seeking
but never distant
always somehow present
inside himself
eyes that reverse
and fingers that feel and grasp
this alien terrain
where others doubt and stumble
their gazes fearful
searching
the loss that is inside of them



...just wrote it there, took me about 2 minutes, I find that when I don't think and just ramble on I produce my best work (having said that, the poem carries a clear message)

what do you think?

I was going to stick up an anthology on kindle called the "50 worst poems ever" but I find it exceedingly difficult to write bad poetry, there's quite an art to it, truly bad poetry must think it's good if you know what I mean and when I try to capture bad poetry, it often ends up not so bad, I get the occassional classic line of "bad poetry" but I find it hard to maintain that standard

one line I had was "time stands still like an unhungry goat", something like that is perfect bad poetry in that it's pompous and self-satisfied without being cliched - I find it hard to maintain that over an entire poem

Am I being understood?

Call Me Jimmy

donfers wrote: »

The man with the golden touch

He walks, he walks
but never falls
this steady peacock strut
as if by magic's clock
of another time
looking and seeking
but never distant
always somehow present
inside himself
eyes that reverse
and fingers that feel and grasp
this alien terrain
where others doubt and stumble
their gazes fearful
searching
the loss that is inside of them



...just wrote it there, took me about 2 minutes, I find that when I don't think and just ramble on I produce my best work (having said that, the poem carries a clear message)

what do you think?

Tiny bit rough around the edges (whatever that means) but have to say I like it

donfers

hmmm of course I'll freely admit that writing bad poetry offers an easy get-out clause in one way, in so much that the writer can't lose, if it's good then it's good because I am incapable of writing badly, if it's bad it's because I meant it that way and I am satirising something or other

alfa beta

donfers wrote: »

"time stands still like an unhungry goat"

i love that - it's genius

reminds me of Eliot

how could you say that's bad??!!

Evelyn Cusack

I liked it. Here's one close to my heart

Notes to a Loved One

These eyes have seen death,
these eyes have seen diseases and famines,
these eyes have seen acts of terrorism
these eyes have seen war and starvation.
And yet …
these eyes have seen things of beauty;
The beauty in a new-born’s eyes
the beauty I see when I look at you.
No diseases or famine
No acts of terrorism or starvation
can ever take that away from me.
Your beauty is as eternal as
the stars at night.
Your smile is as golden as
the sun when it rises.
Your name shall forever echo
in the depths of my soul.
When I look at you and see all this
there is only one thing I can think of
there is only one thing I can say;
I love you

pickarooney

I came across this guy on Authonomy who was by some distance the world's worst poet, and possibly the most prolific. This isn't anywhere near his standard I'm afraid. It's far too readable.