Sexual abuse.

jobeenfitz

I am not sure if this post is in the correct forum. I have looked trough the site and it is not easy to find somewhere suitable.

My sister recently went into a shop and met a relation that had sexually assaulted her in her youth. She went balistic and had an outburst towards this person. She lives near Athlone so the recent events there brought up some memories and turmoil inside her.

She is not the only one in my immediate family who was assaulted by this person, her twin sister and myself were also victims of this person.

It is a long time since these assaults happened.

About four years both of my sisters went to the Gardai and made statements about these assaults. They eventually convinced me to also tell what had happened to me and make a statement.

My reason for this post is that the Gardai took no action.

I'm wondering can we do anything legally? These assaults happened over 30 years ago. Its a shame to just let this person off scott free.

I hope I am not out of line with this post and I am not going to mention any names or addresses.

Lisha

I'm so sorry that you gave suffered abuse in your past.

You all did s fantastic thing in going to the gardai and reporting the issue. I am disgusted and disappointed that no action was taken. This is so wrong and unfair.

Would you consider talking to the Rape Crisis Centre. ? I'm sure they would be able to tell you what action to take next.

Best of luck

jobeenfitz

Thanks for your reply. I am open to any advice. I will pass it on to my sister who seems to be more affected by this than me. Personally I would just leave it be as I find it easier to deal with it that way. I know my sisters do not want to let it go so I will back them whatever they decide, that is if it is not too late.
When I was younger I did approach other family members about this but it seemed nobody wanted to know. I now understand, people are just afraid, they don't know how to talk about it. As for the Guards, I think this was so prevalent in Ireland years ago they just cant go there with every case that comes their way.

Queen-Mise

Talk to the guards again - at the very least they should tell you whether there is enough info to even continue on with a case.

Seriously suggest to your sisters that she goes to her local Rape Crisis Centre or contact 1 in 4; - one of the organisations that specifically deals with sexual abuse.

If your sister is having outbursts like that - then it is seriously affecting her, albeit the outburst was probably understandable. For herself, even if there is no courtcase, then she needs to get her own power back, so that a place/person doesn't affect her so much.

Jenneke87

Hi there,

I'm very sorry to hear of the abuse you and your family went through. If I remember correctly, if the abuse happend over 15 years ago, then the case has expired and no legal action can be taken anymore? Ring Gardai, confirm if this is so and what they stil can do.

I wish you all the best

Taltos

Hi Jenneke87, welcome to PI/RI.

Please note per site rules we ask posters not to request/give legal advice. In the case above particularly as you are unsure, we don't want this thread to descend into conjecture, especially given the nature of the issue at hand.

Before posting again please take 5 minutes to read our charter, we have a low threshold here and regularly action all rule breaches.

Thanks
Taltos

jobeenfitz

Thanks for yeer advice. Apreciate it. I have told both my sisters to take a visit to the local rape crises centre and have looked up some sites and passed on that info also. I do think one if not both may benefit from counselling. Again Thanks.

Would it be worth contacting the Garda Ombudsman?

jobeenfitz

Deleted User wrote: »

Would it be worth contacting the Garda Ombudsman?

Personally I think counselling first and I am sure they will meet the right people there who would know what advice to give them. If it was left to me I know I would leave all them memories in a little dark corner at the back of the head and hope they never see light again. I know there are uncountable thousands of people in this country who have experienced something similar in the past. I think I am going to leave it there now on this post, I really hadn't a clue where to look for advice when this re-emerged but again thanks all.

2Mad2BeMad

Not going to say the guards are useless when it comes to crimes like this.
My current gf who I am with nearly 4 years now was also sexually assaulted when I was with her only a few months by a family friend of theirs. She went to the guards gave a statement, went in the car and show them were it happened. All the guards done was question the friend of the family.
Nothing has been done since. The case is still open and she gets phone calls every couple of months , but all them phone calls are doing is bringing up bad memories and she breaks down over it every time.
It'd be better for her to ask the guards to close the case because at this point its just making her feel horrible and bringing the pain back.

I understand theirs little that can be done without evidence but surely to god something could be done. I'd say their are many cases like this that go unsolved or are closed due to lack of evidence, cause all it is , is he said/she said her word against his.

Although I am very sorry to hear about you and you sisters, you girls are very brave, It takes alot of courage to go into the garda station and say everything that happened.
Id suggest you all go to the rape crisis centre, as they help ALOT, my gf is not afraid to go out anymore on her own, and since that day happened she never smiled but after visiting the centre a few times she started to become herself again.

I wish you and your sisters the best of luck, as for your sisters wanting justice, I can understand that, but if you think for yourself its best to be kept in the past, well then you can do that, everyone has their own way of dealing with things like this, some don't stop until theirs justice and some put it behind them, but just remember you need to talk about it, its the only way , you can't bottle it up as it leads to serious depressing and in some cases can lead too suicide.

Sorry I can't be anymore helpfull

I really despise people who rape, I've always said their should be a death penalty for it or at least life in prison, to many of these scumbags get away free or with a slap on the wrist.