Should i defer? URGENT!!

man_man

OK so the deferral date is next Friday (Friday 25th Oct) But I don't know if I should defer or not. I come from Monaghan and have an apartment with friends (sort of) here. But nevertheless I feel very homesick even though I do talk to people in my course. One of my best friends has deferred because of personal reasons and I was wondering if I should wait with him. I am in tears almost every night pondering all the outcomes in my head. I don't want to disappoint my parents my sitting at home for a year ( Even though i will be willing to work hard on our farm to repay them) also I will need to find someone for my bedroom because I don't want to leave my friends paying for my empty room (its not fair on them). Will I regret deferring i.e. is it a year wasted Or what should i do! any and all comments will be appreciated plz reply ASAP not much time left.

Kessalia

sorry to not be able to answer your question but just adding some.... I'm not familiar with the procedure so -

are there additional costs that derive from deferring?

what reasons do you have to give and how do you (or do you have to at all?) prove them?

cairdre

Hi

Why don't you make an appt and speak to someone in the Uni. If you go into the student advice centre you can speak to a student advisor or if you like make an appt with the careers service through your portal page. Both locations have excellent staff another alternative is drop in and ask for Joe or Susan in the Interfaith Centre. Your feelings are perfectly normal at this stage but remember you cannot base your decisions around what your friend does. 3 weeks is early days yet for new students. Seriously go speak to someone it can only help.

Good luck with your decision

man_man

Mr.S wrote: »

Don't defer.

To put it bluntly, you have to face the real world eventually! (and so far, thats just college!).

I would stick at it, just because one of your best friends won't be around college, doesn't mean you'll have no one to talk to!

You'll be a year closer to finishing if you stick at it, what happens if your friend decides to not go back next year?

I am pretty sure that he wont give up because he hates his current live at home. and i am not saying i need him so i will have someone to talk to.

man_man

cairdre wrote: »

Hi

Why don't you make an appt and speak to someone in the Uni. If you go into the student advice centre you can speak to a student advisor or if you like make an appt with the careers service through your portal page. Both locations have excellent staff another alternative is drop in and ask for Joe or Susan in the Interfaith Centre. Your feelings are perfectly normal at this stage but remember you cannot base your decisions around what your friend does. 3 weeks is early days yet for new students. Seriously go speak to someone it can only help.

Good luck with your decision

If i was to make an appointment with them what would i say though?

man_man

I would also like to poinnt out that there is no extra cost to deffering and also that i am only 17. Most of my classmates are 19 or going 19 shortly

man_man

Oh and finally can i say that since coming up to Dublin i have suffered from a severe loss of appetite, i maybe eat 1-2 meals a day (and cant even finish my slice of toast in the morning for my breakfast). By no means am i a light guy but i have noticed my weight drop drastically since starting uni. I don't know if this makes a difference or not?

sasperilla

hi

I am mother of someone who deferred and it sounds to me like u really want to defer but ur worried about ur parents reaction. They won't want u to be unhappy so my advice would be to talk to them and talk to someone in college and if u still feel the same, pull out till next yr. You are very young and have loads of time to play around with. But act fast so they don't get stung for the fees best of luck with ur decision either way !

man_man

sasperilla wrote: »

hi

I am mother of someone who deferred and it sounds to me like u really want to defer but ur worried about ur parents reaction. They won't want u to be unhappy so my advice would be to talk to them and talk to someone in college and if u still feel the same, pull out till next yr. You are very young and have loads of time to play around with. But act fast so they don't get stung for the fees best of luck with ur decision either way !

Thank you very much! Very reassuring to hear a woman with experience. May i ask why ur child deffered and if at any point did he/she regret it?

Noodleworm

cairdre wrote: »

Hi

Why don't you make an appt and speak to someone in the Uni. If you go into the student advice centre you can speak to a student advisor or if you like make an appt with the careers service through your portal page. Both locations have excellent staff another alternative is drop in and ask for Joe or Susan in the Interfaith Centre. Your feelings are perfectly normal at this stage but remember you cannot base your decisions around what your friend does. 3 weeks is early days yet for new students. Seriously go speak to someone it can only help.

Good luck with your decision

Actually I think the best people would be the counselling service. Which is free in DCU and very helpful. They usually give you about 3 sessions, or more if your problem is ongoing. I think its really worth speaking to them before making a decision.

http://www4.dcu.ie/students/counselling/index.shtml
You can sign up online and then they call you in to fill out a form so they can access what you need from them, this time of year they should be able to make appointments pretty quickly.

You'll need to work out if deferring is actually going to help your situation, or if your just going to be putting off the same feelings for another year. The counselling service can help you go through what your feeling, and help you make sense of it, figure out if leaving is best, and if not help you get through this difficult time and learn to feel more comfortable in university.

sasperilla

hi, sorry only getting back to you now. I would second noodles advice to speak to counsellor. The deadline of oct 25 is looming tho, so unless ur parents are v wealthy I wud aim to have decision by then, cos if u pull out before then they get all fees back and when u come back next yr it is same price. If u let it go beyond that date they will not get this yrs fees back and if u go back next yr they will have to pay fees at a higher rate. So get thinking !

As for whether my young lad regretted it. No, he didn't really. He was on the wrong course and is now far happier on anether course. He had been drinking too much, skipping classes and very unhappy so it was almost a relief when he dropped out cos we were v worried about him.

This is Prob the first major decision u have had to make in ur young life. With every decision comes a tinge of regret at the path not taken and a niggling worry as to whether u are doing the right thing. But once u make ur decision
, u just have to have faith in urself and put all ur energy and focus into making things work out.

Best of luck, i am sure u will be fine either way !

Kessalia

actually you don't get your fees back (if you've paid the full 2500 euro or what it is, you get back half) but they keep the rest until next year, you just don't have to pay again then. and it costs you 325 euro to defer as they told me.

the counselling service has a waiting time of two weeks by the way, so as the deadline is the 25th this doesn't work, I've tried this, too.

just some information that should be kept in mind

Noodleworm

I don't know if the counseling service wait time is definite. It totally depends on how busy they are, you can tell them its urgent. When I first went I got an appointment just a few days after contacting them.

Kessalia

I had the same question/problem and contacted them a few days ago. They told me the wait is 2 weeks at the moment and I should go to the careers service or student advice centre instead

man_man

But seeing as i have had to appeal my SUSI grant i have not yet paid the 2500euro. Therefore what happens if i defer before or after the 25th??? does anybody know?

cairdre

Hi

Sorry for not getting away I have been away. I think the loss of appetite and weight loss it a sign of stress and anxiety. Please talk to your parents and definately someone in the student advice centre. Believe they me they will not try and talk you out of it just give a advice and help you weight up the pros and cons. As to what to say just exactly what you are saying here, they know the questions to ask. I think it is too late for an appt with counselling and being honest I think there are others equally well qualified to help you on this one, just ask for celine, deirdre or claire. It sounds to me like you are looking for someone to make the decision for you ultimately it has to be yours. Given your age etc I think we both know what that may be.

Good luck with the decision