Party situation

LegacyUser

My girlfriend and I went to a party at the weekend. It was a house party thrown by people who work for same company but she wouldn't really know. We went with some of her co-workers who I was familiar with.

Anyway, we get to the party and everything is fine. It was in kitchen of house and was crowded enough. After a short while we got split up. She was on one side of kitchen chatting to a co-worker and just hanging out and I was on other side chatting to some of the co-workers I knew. Then they decided to leave cause they were tired of party.

So, I was left alone. I thought about making my way across room to her, but then didn't. Time passed and she didn't come to find me and this bothered me. I knew in my head that I could go find her so maybe I am just being silly about this but it really bothered me when she didn't even try to come get me. I thought about leaving the party, but eventually I went and found her. She seemed happy to see me, but the fact she hadn't come to me was still niggling in my mind.

She could see something was bothering me, so we talked about it outside and after the party when we got home. She said of course I should have come found her earlier and that she was just having fun where she was.

I've tried to put these weird feelings behind me but they are still in my mind.


So, this has been bothering me the past few days. I thought it would go away but it still lingering. I turn to the fine members of Boards.ie for some advice! Am I being ridiculious?

LegacyUser

I definitely think you are being ridiculous! She was mingling/chatting why would she need to babysit you and come looking for you?

Why couldn't you have joined her and colleague and got in on the conversation!!

Floppybits

Sounds like you are being ridiculous. From reading your post it seems she was having a good time, you were having a good time until your friends left, did she know your friends had left? Why didnt you go find her? Why did she have to come find you? Would you have been bothered if your friends hadn't left and she hadnt come looking for you?

iusedtoknow

eh...it happens - it isn't the mark of anything "deeper", she probably didn't realise as much time had passed as she thought (if she was drinking, time can be a bit skewed by that).

The fact that you talked about it AND that she doesn't seem defensive about not coming to get you would indicate everything is good. Slightly inconsiderate yes, but these things happen every so often.

moochers

I agree with the other posts, you are making a huge deal out of nothing.
When your friends left you chose to sit in the corner by yourself and expected your gf to come to you. That's what a petulant child would do. Your gf is not a mind reader.

At parties people mingle, there is nothing worse than a couple who stay glued together all night.

Toast4532

OP you are way over-reacting, your behaviour is bordering on childish to be honest.

You were both at a party, both in different parts of the room, both chatting to different people, one group left and instead of going to find your girlfriend you stood around waiting for her to come and find you?

Why should you girlfriend come and find you? Is she supposed to be a mind reader and magically know that your friends went home and that you are waiting for her to come and find you?

You need to grow up and cop on, you are not a child or a baby you needs their girlfriend/mammy beside them all night long holding their hand because their friend(s) go home.

Continue on behaving like this and you'll probably find yourself attending parties as a single man! What woman would put up with such behaviour from a grown adult?!

Potatoeman

It would have been far worse to ditch her at the party.

Meauldsegosha

I have to agree with the other posters that you overreacted. Also the fact that you sat in the corner like a spoilt child rather than join your girlfriend or mingle with other party guests is not an attractive trait.

Miaireland

May I ask what age you are op because you are coming across as an very inmature unsecure teenager.

As others said you sat in the corner and waited for your girlfriend to come and keep you company. Did she even knowbyour friends left?


I am guessing that she assumed she was dating an adult who would join her if he wanted to and when you didn't appear she assumed you were talking elsewhere.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, it sounds like you deliberately set your gf for some sort of manufactured test.. and wanted her to fail.

The people you were with left. You then deliberately decided not to go look for your gf. Preferring instead to wait for her to realise you were waiting for her.

You are an adult. Capable of looking after yourself in a house full of people, and equally capable of going to find your gf if you found yourself with nobody to talk to.

ivytwine

If you think a couple should stick together all night and think and act as one person please wake up. Nothing less attractive or healthy.

You are two individuals who are in a relationship together. You do not need to spend every waking second together. You should have just found more people and talked to them. Your girlfriend has acted reasonably here, but you have not.

Frank Black

Neediness is an unattractive trait.
If you're at a party, mingle, chat to people have fun - don't sit in a corner sulking because your gf didn't use her extra sensory perception to realise that the people you were talking to had left and that you needed a bit of validation.

Obliq

...so you stood alone, testing her to see if she missed your company as much as you were missing her's (although you both had company till your's left). I suggest that it was more the desire you had to test her (in a test conducted entirely inside your own head) that's the problem here, and perhaps that's what still rankles with you rather than what she did/didn't do. Did you already have some underlying insecurity about the value she puts on your company, because that's the only reason I can come up with for you testing her in that way?

TwoGallants

OP, I'm quite neurotic but this reaction of yours would be rather extreme even for me. Get some perspective and stop worrying about what are by definition extremely silly things! Peace.

Cork selfbuild

OP, think you were a bit in the wrong here, you got odd with her for not doing something you didn't do either, maybe she felt the same about you, why won't he come over?