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Supporting Depression

  • 09-10-2013 10:54am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My wife has been diagnosed with depression recently. She's had a tough time recently and I can see how it came about. I've had some professional training in the mental health area so I'm supporting her as best I can by being there for her, asking about her feelings, I was the one who encouraged her to go to her doctor, etc. But in reality, I'm freaking out inside. I'm a fixer and, while I'm subduing it, there's part of me that just wants to fix her. I understand the nature of depression and I know I can't just fix it, so what I need is help in supporting her. I've never suffered from depression, so I'd really appreciate any advice from anyone who has been there before - either as sufferer or supporter. Is there anything I can do to help her that I might not think of? I don't want to suffocate her but I don't want to be in any way distant either.


Comments

  • #2
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    Just keep letting her know you love her OP. You sound very supportive....little things I suppose, like getting her a glass of wine and tell her put her feet up and watch some telly while you cook dinner....whatever.

    The small gestures that you're going out of your way to want her to feel better, without actually trying to fix anything might help? I know it works on me when I'm feeling low, as do flowers produced from behind the back occasionally (cliched I know!) and the odd spur of the moment foot rub. Might make me cry if I'm all emotional, but that's just a release of tension and it's fine.

    I know what you mean by wanting to fix the problem and you're right, that's unhelpful (like saying "well, if you look at it another way" or "maybe take up a hobby"), whereas just by being supportive in what you do together without giving advice will go a long way.

    That's my 2 cents anyway! Good luck to you both :)


  • #3
    ivytwine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭ivytwine


    Great advice above. Being there for her is key. I just spotted this blog post on FB, it's written by someone with depression, it might help you OP: http://auroralapetite.wordpress.com/2013/10/10/world-mental-health-day-lets-listen/

    Good luck OP, best wishes to you and your wife x


  • #4
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Judy123 - you are new here but please be aware your request to offer help in this manner can and does result in immediate bans from this forum.
    Please take some time now to read our charter before you post again. Offers to get into personal consul are clearly called out as not suitable here.

    Thanks
    Taltos


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