Great guy but I hate how he kisses :(

LegacyUser

I met a lovely guy, he's so great, thoughtful, considerate, great fun to be around etc.

All would be perfect except he's a really awful kisser....It's really slobbery and sometimes encapsulates my nose!!! Then he will like forced his entire tongue down the back of my throat.

Whenever he does this, I've tried to like jump a little and pull away from him so he would realise without me saying it - but he hasn't.

There's another thing....I spent the night with him last night for the first time. I didn't want to have sex just yet and he was fine with that. I'm quite a touchy feely huggy person but I found it difficult with him. He wanted us to be wrapped up around each other all night and it was TOO warm and because of the intermittent aforementioned kissing I honestly was just so turned off him and didn't want to sleep with him at all. It's really turning me off him and he's lovely, but I don't know how you tell someone to kiss differently!

heretochat

This is very easy - it may be embarassing for you to tell him how you like to be kissed but you need to do so.

You say he is a lovely guy and do you really want to jeopardise a happy relationship with him over something that is easily remedied?

So I would advise telling him the problem and working on it with him. In the end he will appreciate the heads up I am sure.

strobe

I take it you're worried about hurting his feelings?

Try to bring it up in terms of what you'd like rather than what he's doing 'wrong'. (he doesn't necesarrily kiss 'wrong' it's just not to your taste, another person might love it).

So more along the lines of "I really love being kissed like *this*", "I love it when you kiss me *this* way" rather than "I hate you kissing me like *that*".

LegacyUser

OP, teach him, show him, and have fun along the way!

seosamh1980

bananaRep12 wrote: »

OP, teach him, show him, and have fun along the way!

That's very easy to say until you're the one being slobbered on like he's an enthusiastic puppy.

MugMugs

Sorry OP but this is one of the most important parts of a relationship and if it isn't right now and you want to be with him then you need to stand up and tell him that it's not right because you're only going one way at the moment and I get the impression you'd rather try and stay with this lad !

TwoGallants

Seriously, guys love it when they're 'instructed' by their girl. Every woman is different, when you tell him the way you like something, he'll be delighted to do just that. Some men aren't terribly subtle so sometimes you need to be direct. I guarantee you, he would rather know than not know...

Cork selfbuild

No harm in just showing him how you like it, no one is mind reader!

Fanny Brioscaí

Cork selfbuild wrote: »

No harm in just showing him how you like it, no one is mind reader!

tough one op. maybe talk to him while you're kissing and tell him to slow down to be gentle and not rush it. If he listens he will hear and learn how you liked to be kiseed and will enjoy it even more with you.

Cork selfbuild

Quaint wrote: »

tough one op. maybe talk to him while you're kissing and tell him to slow down to be gentle and not rush it. If he listens he will hear and learn how you liked to be kiseed and will enjoy it even more with you.

Exactly, there will be no harm in what Quaint says.... Take the bull by the horns, figuratively!

Fanny Brioscaí

Any update on the kissing situation op?

LegacyUser

Yes...not a good update though.

I thought strobes advice was really good and was waiting for the right time to enforce it but I found myself avoiding physical contact altogether as what he was doing I was just finding such a turn off. I was backing away from kisses altogether and then after a cinema date where he had bad breath I just felt like It could never go anywhere if I didn't want him anywhere near me and I ended it last night

I got on great with him and he was so lovely but after 6 dates I felt like it was a friendship that was blossoming as I had no interest in being intimate with him at all.....I stopped fancying him altogether and I felt like I was just leading him on so that's it!

I don't honestly feel like there was anything I could do, my OTT reactions to try and show him subtlety didn't make an ounce of difference and my avoidance of kissing him altogether made me not even want to have the conversation telling him what to do as it would have involved kissing him.

I'm sure it sounds brutal but it just felt like the only option was to say goodbye

Teyla Emmagan

Sorry to hear that OP but I get where you're coming from. 'Broke up' with a guy last year (after only a few dates) because I didn't like it when he kissed me. At all. At the dodging his mouth stage. He was on medication and when he kissed me my mouth felt sticky after, like for hours. It was just disgusting!

Cork selfbuild

OP when the feelings got to that level, then you did the right thing... Didn't thing it sounded brutal, not every 2 people are compatible!

Fanny Brioscaí

Sorry to hear op. It doesn't sound brutal, you were honest and your feelings had changed.

Quaint

Quaint wrote: »

Any update on the kissing situation op?

Please don't ask for updates in future and read the charter before posting, this is not a soap.

OP sorry to hear it didn't work out. Locking now, all the best