Escorts

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am not sure if this is the correct place to ask this question..but I am a 28 year old female, I had a serious illness (which I am now fully recovered from) however it has left me with scars which as soon as I get to a certain level with a man (and he sees them) they turn him off (one man actually told me so). I am aware that not all men would react in this way...but I have gotten to this stage with so many that my ego cannot take anymore.

I am extremely frustrated. I don't even want a relationship, I just want sex and I have gotten to the point of considering hiring a male escort at least I would pay him to be nice and to have sex with me.

My question is; has anyone ever done this? Hired female escorts/ male escorts. I am looking for advice really as to how safe could this be? I have researched ireland an there doesn't seem to be many ones (that aren't really sleazy) but London has a number of websites advertising what seem to be quite high class male/ female escorts/ call girls


Any advice is welcome on how to go about this.

Thank you

Taltos

OP I am approving your thread with prejudice. Solicitation of a prostitute is illegal and this part of your query falls into the realm of requesting information on illegal activities. As such should we see this thread / responses focus on that aspect of your problem we will have no choice but to close it. Sorry if this seems harsh but think that you may benefit from the posters here on the thread of your issue.

Taltos

ted1

maleescorts wrote: »

Hi,

I am not sure if this is the correct place to ask this question..but I am a 28 year old female, I had a serious illness (which I am now fully recovered from) however it has left me with scars which as soon as I get to a certain level with a man (and he sees them) they turn him off (one man actually told me so). I am aware that not all men would react in this way...but I have gotten to this stage with so many that my ego cannot take anymore.

I am extremely frustrated. I don't even want a relationship, I just want sex and I have gotten to the point of considering hiring a male escort at least I would pay him to be nice and to have sex with me.

My question is; has anyone ever done this? Hired female escorts/ male escorts. I am looking for advice really as to how safe could this be? I have researched ireland an there doesn't seem to be many ones (that aren't really sleazy) but London has a number of websites advertising what seem to be quite high class male/ female escorts/ call girls


Any advice is welcome on how to go about this.

Thank you

I don't think an escort will leave you satisfied as you'll miss out on the emotional side of sex.
What about sex in the dark?

heretochat

OP as you said yourself, not all men will react in that way. I would not be rushing into doing something as drastic as hiring an escort.

If you meet the right guy and take things slowly until a level of trust has been built up, I would be confident that it would not be as big an issue as you have convinced yourself it is.

The guy who made you feel this way is not worth the thought and there are many other men out there who would not treat you in that way.

Merkin

I'm not being funny hon, but as a woman all you need to do is go out on a Friday or Saturday night to any pub or club and you'll have no end of men looking to have sex with you. You don't need to pay for it. If it is purely sex you are looking for then get the glad rags on, go out with your friends and hook up with any choice of men for meaningless but enjoyable action at the end of night. It really is that easy. Or alternatively sign up to a dating website as there are no end of people looking for casual hook ups.

Having some war wounds however does not make you any less attractive. You've fought a serious illness and lived to tell the tale so cut yourself some slack. You're amazing! Just because some ignorant boar tells you that he found your marks a turn-off (I bet he himself was a paragon of aesthetics :rolleyes:) don't let that dent your self confidence or self-esteem. If you're feeling less than confident I am not sure that paying some escort to have sex with you is an advisable route. How will you feel after?

There are also cosmetics you can get to camouflage scars, Google this and see if any of these would be suitable for you.

Sleepy

I'd second the suggstion sign up to one of the no-strings sites. You could share a picture of your scars with any potential play partners before meeting up so you'd know they knew what they were getting and weren't put off by them. Given the ratios of men to women on these sites, you can be extremely fussy and, once you take the obvious precautions, should be able to have plenty of satisfying sex that way.

Don't let a few bad encounters convince you that you're not worthy of a relationship (if that's something you'd like to have). All of us have imperfections and, frankly, most women will have a few scars/stretch-marks after having kids. Only the most naieve teenager who's only experience of the female body comes from porn expects otherwise tbh.

donkey oatey

I have experienced having my confidence knocked by someone being harsh during sex. It's diffucult to enjoy sex and the lead up when you are also overcoming fear. For a long time I thought sex was just a physical thing (you know, the word beginning with "f") but when I can surrender to my partner and enjoy his eyes as we talk, the hand on the thigh, his skin beneath his t-shirt..... There's a lot more to sex than "insert part a into part b".

Some people find scars attractive, some people don't care about scars and some people will want you and not care about anything other than you. I got the feeling that you've decided no one would want to sleep with you. I know you're wrong.

I think I'd go on one of those hook up sites and see if someone does respond to your photos positively. Some people are all about physical perfection (I had an ex who said he'd only settle down when he found someone physically worthy - he was a bald 30 year old with a bit of extra weight and very ugly on the inside) but most people are hoping to find that connection (sexual, emotional) as much as you are.

Good luck! (but do follow the guidelines when meeting someone you don't know -tell a friend where you'll be, get them to call 30 mins into the date, give the friend the other persons details, etc and enjoy yourself)

If all you want is sex, then there are many websites that you can sign up to for this. You could decide to show a photo of your scars, as others have mentioned.

With regards to the scars, have you looked into possibly having them removed or is that not an option for you? I'm not 100% about the procedures and you have probably already looked into it.

Honey-ec

ted1 wrote: »

I don't think an escort will leave you satisfied as you'll miss out on the emotional side of sex.

Not everyone needs an emotional attachment to enjoy sex, you know.

OP, I also agree with the suggestion to use a hook-up/NSA site. Be honest about your scars and, as others have suggested, when you get chatting to someone you like the look of, send them a pic or two of your scars before you get together.

Best of luck with it.

ted1

Honey-ec wrote: »

Not everyone needs an emotional attachment to enjoy sex, you know.

OP, I also agree with the suggestion to use a hook-up/NSA site. Be honest about your scars and, as others have suggested, when you get chatting to someone you like the look of, send them a pic or two of your scars before you get together.

Best of luck with it.

I know that , but there is a difference between a ONS where you know that both parties are doing it out of enjoyment and paying an escort known he is only there because he is being paid

kjl

Hi OP, if you google escort I am pretty certain you will find what you are looking for. Escort sites have a feedback system so safety tends not to be an issue, but make sure to read all the reviews.

However my advice would be to avoid. I know that you feel insecure but having sex with an escort is just going to make you feel more alone then ever. Sure it might be fun while you are doing it, but it's all fake. It is nothing like the real connection between two people when they like each other.

Have you thought about posting in criegslist casual encounters to see maybe you might find someone you like.

superman28

I would go against some advice about going out and trying to pick up some random guy.. I would say in your situation you require a professional. If you were in Germany or Australia where escorts are legal you could go to a legal establishment where you would be protected by consumer protection and escorts are regularly screened for STIs and have back ground checks.. here it is unregulated,, illegal and underground... However, I think most escorts work independently (for themselves) so it is not my place to say you should or not,, its your choice..

but I would suggest reading reviews about the escort,, etc.. you might as well pick someone way out of your league in terms of looks and you might as well go for the whole hog and get someone hung like a grand national winnner..

I would imagine that as a professional they won't care about what you look like because its just business for them.. Its a bit of a mad one... but best of luck with your choice.. hope it works out..

splitrmx

Prostitution is not illegal in Ireland.

http://www.sexworkersallianceireland.org/frequently.html

Taltos

splitrmx - if you have no constructive advice to offer please don't post.
This is not a discussion forum and we are not getting into the pros/cons on prostitution or solicitation. While prostitution may be legal, solicitation is not.

Any further off topic posts will result in moderator action. Before posting please remember that PI/RI is strictly moderated and if you cannot post in line with the rules here you are asked not to post.

snookerwidow

Hi, probably sounds a bit simplistic but have you thought about just getting some nice sexy underwear. I mean the really good stuff, full on bodices etc - not sure where your scars are but to be honest if you get a good sexy bra/knickers/bodice etc I doubt very much any guy would be looking at your scars - plus to be fair I reckon it could be a confidence builder for you.

Re the escorts - the fact that you are posting about it in the first place means that perhaps you have misgivings - go with your gut on that one... if it doesn't feel right to you then don't do it. Think to yourself... will it always be at the back of my mind that I used an escort? some people wouldn't think twice about it... more power to them,however for some people it might be something they will regret for a long time, especially when they have moved on and are in a good relationship. Only you can know what to do for yourself - whatever you decide don't feel judged either because of your physical appearance or because you went with an escort. Be happy, you have come though a serious illness, you're out the other side and you need to make the best of your life now and have some fun.

Obliq

donkey oatey wrote: »

....
Some people find scars attractive, some people don't care about scars and some people will want you and not care about anything other than you. I got the feeling that you've decided no one would want to sleep with you. I know you're wrong.

I think I'd go on one of those hook up sites and see if someone does respond to your photos positively. Some people are all about physical perfection (I had an ex who said he'd only settle down when he found someone physically worthy - he was a bald 30 year old with a bit of extra weight and very ugly on the inside) but most people are hoping to find that connection (sexual, emotional) as much as you are.

Good luck! (but do follow the guidelines when meeting someone you don't know -tell a friend where you'll be, get them to call 30 mins into the date, give the friend the other persons details, etc and enjoy yourself)

I am liking this post! OP, I also have the feeling you've taken some proper confidence knocks and feel that given that whole 'dating game' horrors, you'd rather not have another knock. Hence the thought of going with an escort. While that might do your confidence some good just by getting some pleasure on your own terms and the obvious good that would do you, it also might leave you with a slightly worse and lasting problem by only serving to verify what you already think - that nobody wants to have sex with you unless paid to do so.

Other posters have said they're sure that's not the case, as am I, but getting over that feeling so that you can be more confident about meeting new men with a view to a sexual relationship is probably holding you back. Have you thought about going to sex-therapy, just to talk it all out with someone and learn a bit more about exploring your new body (the way it is now)? So that you, yourself, can guide men into finding you as attractive and wonderful as you feel....

Emme

snookerwidow wrote: »

Hi, probably sounds a bit simplistic but have you thought about just getting some nice sexy underwear. I mean the really good stuff, full on bodices etc - not sure where your scars are but to be honest if you get a good sexy bra/knickers/bodice etc I doubt very much any guy would be looking at your scars - plus to be fair I reckon it could be a confidence builder for you.

This is the most constructive post so far and I was going to suggest the same thing. Go into a large department store with a good selection of underwear and get professional advice on underwear which will either hide or obscure your scars. You can tell the assistant you're going away for a weekend with a boyfriend and want underwear to make the most of yourself. Could you wear a corset and would it hide your scars? Corsets are a turn on for many men. There's a shop in Georges Street arcade that sells corsets and vintage style clothing.

There's also body make-up which hides scars but that might not be a practical solution long-term.

Bio-oil rubbed into scars twice daily may soften and fade your scars but your doctor might be able to give you further advice. Have you spoken to your doctor about the scars and how they impact on your confidence? If your doctor is an old-school type go elsewhere. The Well Woman centre may be helpful if you explain that scars from an illness are affecting your sexual confidence. More importantly, they would advise you contraception and protection if you are embarking on casual sexual encounters.

If you bring a lover back to your place make sure the lighting flatters you. A good hardware store will have a range of bulbs in different wattages and finishes. A good lampshade can do wonders.

If you are creative about finding solutions this will help your confidence and with regained confidence you should have no problem attracting men.

Good luck

fungun

Im a bit surprised - 'attractiveness' is kind of usually rated on the bits you can see when you are out....for me, knowing about scars you have underneath would mean more of a bond with you as Id know your secrets in a way that others dont, and Id like that

Genuinely, I think an escort would cause more problems....as I think the biggest problem is that because this happened you, you have now built this issue up in your head and paying a guy for sex actually just reinforces that idea. You do not need to pay for a guy to have sex with you, a combo of vibrators + no-strings-attached websites could scratch that itch if you needed it (if you do use these websites though, please be very careful about your personal security and make sure someone knows where you are, or expects you soon afterwards). But in my opinion even this approach is aiming low - sexy lingerie, mood lighting etc and aim for what you most want, plenty of guys wont mind at all about scars.

Best of luck with it