she's mad about me then ignores me ??

johnnyc78

Hi guys

Hope you can help me here, Its a bit of a long story so bear with me. I met this girl on a dating site two months ago, we exchanged numbers in 20mins of chatting online so she rang me and we had a small chat which I found her to be quite boring. I didnt chat with her again till 2 weeks ago when she sent me a text. We chatted all week and arranged a date 5 days later.

I found her to be very down and depressed senting negative vibes at times but however, being a nice guy that I am I managed to lift up her up !! she was doubting I would like her as she's quite big which I stressed that I'm not a shallow guy and I like her personality. She was telling me she was in large debt and everyone hates her. She said she was really looking forward in meeting me and hopes I wouldn't be disappointed (well I defo wasn't)

Our date night came and we met in a housing estate carpark in the pitch dark. When she got into the car, she didnt want to move and leave the lights off in the car. We never went on a walk like we planned as she doesn't drink and we just sat there chatting and having a good banter. She was definitely a different type of girl personality wise as to what I was expecting (shy, lack of confidence & self esteem, quiet). She was funny, easy going and flirty. We chatted and kissed for 5 hours.

The following morning she texted saying Im not gonna be good enough for her and it wasn't gonna work out. I was well disappointed trying to convince her to give us a chance and I genuinely liked her. That night she texted me again saying she was very down and sending very depressing texts making me feel very uncomfortable but again I made her feel better and tried to convince her that she was pretty, sound and I enjoyed last night with her.

This is where it went crazy in my friends opinian. The following night (two days after our initial date) she text me saying she was mad about me, wanted us to be together as girlfriend boyfriend and she "loved the bones of me" in her words, well I was like steady on and take it slow. We only met once for 5 hours but texted alot. The following day she asked how I felt about her, I was honest and told her I wasn't mad about her but I was very fond of her and love to see her again !! she wasn't very happy and trying to make me admit that I was mad about her giving the nice texts I was sending her anyway I managed to cool her down and later on that day she texted I miss you and wanted to be with me. I replied that I'm looking forward in seeing her again.

I rang her the following day and she just hung up after 20 seconds of chatting, I tried ringing her again and she hung up again. I was very confused as to why she was acting like this given that we were on good terms earlier. I texted her what was going on and she said her phone was broke and we chatted a little ending on good terms.

I seen her back online on the dating site where we met the following day and to be honest I was distraught, even though the girl maybe a little crazy, I really liked her and now I cant stop thinking about her. I texted her three times (5 days after our initial date) and no reply. Its now a week since this happened and I dont know weather I should leave it or try and text her again and see what happens. I really liked this girl but my mates are saying shes a complete psycho. It may be an obvious answer but I like to see what others think. Thanks for reading !!

killer kilbane

leave her, she has serious issues.... I was caught in something of a similiar situation and i have let her madness for someone else...Thats if she ever gets someone

Defiler Of The Coffin

She sounds a but unhinged OP... I think you would be better off just forgetting about this one. There isn't much prospect of a happy, healthy relationship here. Looks like you're feeling the way you are because you can't have her now.

Esoteric_

If she's that crazy at the start, when you're supposed to be making yourself appear in the best light possible, I can only imagine what it'd be like a bit later down the line. Run, and run a mile.

You told her you weren't mad about her so she gave up, seems straightforward enough
she had enough self confidence issues already it seems without chasing someone who wasn't into her
you only started chasing her after she was 'trying to get you to say you were mad about her', she probably thought you were being nice and a bit insincere
Just leave it there yeah

moochers

Your first date was in a car park in the pitch dark!

lukesmom

moochers wrote: »

Your first date was in a car park in the pitch dark!

Yeah wtf ??????

johnnyc78

moochers wrote: »

Your first date was in a car park in the pitch dark!

Yeah it is a defo WTF !!! i knew she had self-confidence issues but she was so different in that she was talkative, joking and basically a sound girl not someone with serious issues, at first i was thinking was this the girl who I was texting during the week anyway I begn to really like her and just enjoyed having a banter with her.

johnnyc78

Thanks for the replies guys, much appreciated !!

i feel better known that this will be a complete waste of my time and hers if I was to go along with it. Just glad I could get this off my chest with someones else's opinans

lukesmom

She's just not that into you

Joke*

She obviously has a few issues to sort out by herself so if I were you I would look at it like a lucky escape

MagicMarker

Dude, one only has to read the first two paragraphs of your post to come to what is the most obvious solution, and that is to get the **** out of dodge.

Candy_Girl

She need's to sort her head out before she introduces anyone into her life, you on the other hand need to walk away....do you really need all that drama?

johnnyc78

MagicMarker wrote: »

Dude, one only has to read the first two paragraphs of your post to come to what is the most obvious solution, and that is to get the **** out of dodge.

true that, i gave her the benefit of the doubt due to her confidence and other issues but after asking to be her bf after 48hrs of our date, i didnt feel the same way as she did bit way too quick for anyones liking...she had a really nice personality which had me drawn to her but after reading all the replies GTFO is the only obvious solution

Obliq

Dude, please don't meet girls in pitch black carparks anymore eh? Nobody should be doing that with strangers, male or female.

Also, I find you saying you were 'distraught' after seeing her back on the site to be nearly as odd as she telling you she loves the bones of you after 1 meeting and a week of texts. Bit of perspective needed, if you don't mind me saying......

Cork selfbuild

johnnyc78 wrote: »

I seen her back online on the dating site where we met the following day and to be honest I was distraught, even though the girl maybe a little crazy

this is kind of a contradictory statement, you were distraught when you logged I tot he dating site and saw her online? Why were you logging in so? To see if she was online? Maybe she was doing the same?

Anywho, To me, the first week she got annoyed didn't answer / hung up / didn't reply, she sounds a little bit all over the place tbh, that's a whole pile of headaches there after one date trying to figure her out, something IMO that would only get worse...

I would walk away, as what you experienced in one week will only multiply over time and as I've seen before with behaviours like this, the fallout from the break up gets exponentially bigger...

Lauzzy22

Ha this made me laugh Jesus move on clearly she's nuts! Fair enough she has issues but come on ye only met up for 5 hours be different if use were together 5 years!! How can u even be thinkin about her?? Your takin on someone else's issues when you don't have to!!

Merkin

This woman is quite clearly an absolute, bunny boiling, card carrying nutjob. I'm also not quite sure why you'd be distraught after what was quite literally a 'blind' date (it was in a dark car after all). Would you recognise her in a line up?

It doesn't sound like either of you are ready or in a suitable headspace for casual and light hearted dating tbh....

david75

Does it have breasts? A girls name?

And it's treating you had and acting crazy?

Congratulations son. You've met a woman. Weird species. Avoid at all costs.

LegacyUser

Block her number, and block her from the dating website if you can. My god she has issues - which are not your problem to uplift her or sort out. The 'loving the bones of you' comment would freak me out completely. Honestly, cut all contact with her NOW.

I can't understand how you aren't running a mile. Was her behaviour not screaming alarm bells to you? Why did you re-engage with her?

And never, ever meet anyone in a car park at night who you don't know. I probably sound scare-mongering, but you have no idea what spin her issues could put on that.

Block all contact with her ASAP.

Taltos

david75 - welcome to PI/RI. Can you please take a few minutes to read our charter before posting here again. We are a strictly moderated forum and all breaches of our rules can earn warning/infractions/bans. Mass generalisations, even if posted in jest are not welcome here.

Thanks
Taltos

blatantrereg

The following morning she texted saying Im not gonna be good enough for her and it wasn't gonna work out.

Petty put-downs are completely unnecessary. Normal behaviour is to be concerned with tact if you are turning someone down. Her priority appears to have been the reverse. Dropping any sense of interest right there might have been best just because it showed she's not a nice person.

The following night (two days after our initial date) she text me saying she was mad about me, wanted us to be together as girlfriend boyfriend and she "loved the bones of me" in her words

Far too early to say something like that. Completely inconsistent with her previous night's attitude. She's just saying things to suit her changing moods. None of it goes any deeper than that. None of it is about you at all in fact - just her moods. That's why she's banging on about her professed depression to a relative stranger.

You're confused because you haven't recognised how insincere she is. She is trying to play mind games with you to boost how she feels about herself. It doesn't go any further than that. You're not responding the way she wants because you are being honest. This all reflects very positively on yourself, since it appears you can't relate to the idea that someone would be so insincere. Nonetheless it would be advisable to develop a level of scepticism in general, and especially with people you don't know well.

johnnyc78

Thanks again for all of your replies. I was expecting such a reaction but really seen a different perspective to this matter thanks to most of your replies.

Just want to clarify a couple of things though.

The carpark was in a housing estate where there was plenty of activity with cars parking and pulling out so I did get to see what she looked like through reflections of the headlights and to me she looked really pretty hence the reason why I was trying to make her feel good about herself but now I know that was a big mistake considering what type of girl she is.

I was distraught because after our last conversation, after she hung up on me and gave me a lame excuse when I confronted her, we talked a little and left on good terms. I was just focusing on that date night rather then the red flags she was showing through out the week. I did want to see her again because I was drawn to her after our banter on our first date despite all them depressing, crazy texts and mood swings. I did say to her that we should take it slow and see how it goes and she made me think she was ok with that. Maybe she just got excited because some fool (me) was actually giving her attention.

I didn’t check just to see if she was online but when I gave up with her after no replies to my texts, I seen her active but I know now its very silly to feel the way I did. I really thought she was a sound girl when we met and the texts weren’t always negative.

Thanks again for your opinions and making me see this was a complete psycho at its finest. The characteristics were all there but I failed to see most of them. I already blocked her online and my phone. cheers guys