Starting conversations with strangers

Seachmall

I was in Dublin the other day for the All Ireland replay and it seemed everywhere I went a conversation would start with strangers as a result of me wearing the Clare jersey and it got me thinking; how do most folk go about striking up chat with randomers when there isn't such an obvious topic of conversation?

I'm generally half-cut when I'm having the banter with folk I don't know and it usually starts with me asking about some TV show or looking for a general opinion but I've seen people walk up to others and just jump straight into a story, and then there's the more traditional "Hi, I'm David..." introductions.

I'm not talking about the conversations you naturally fall into, but instead when you're out and must make a conscious effort to mingle (at a wedding or business thing for example).

I'm assuming it varies with age, people over 30 seem more comfortable with the direct introductions yet people in their early twenties seem to take a different approach.

So, AH, how do you go about making friends?






Thinly veiled "I need help making friends" thread.

Make an observation on something happening

Usually leave the introductions until we've had a chat and established we're getting on well enough

Legs.Eleven

Weather or finding something that you can both moan about (the bus arriving late or something).

BBDBB

just stand there staring at them, licking your eyebrows, until they say something, first one to look away loses

kerry4sam

Seachmall wrote: »

... but I've seen people walk up to others and just jump straight into a story, and then there's the more traditional "Hi, I'm David..." introductions.

...

Oh jeez man I wish I knew the names of some people I've had random conversations with. With some we've been speaking whenever we meet (for years) and I do not, to this day, know their name! It can be fupping embarassing tbh!

Normally conversations start up with something happening around us with another person or location and it just grows from there. I've had the strangest of conversations with people that I still randomly meet and to this day I do not know their name. I'd ask others later if I see them again if they know them, but nope. Their are still random people out there who know me to see; chat away to me no bother, but I do not know who they are

Legs.Eleven

Ah you're talking about at parties and stuff. I have no idea. It usually just happens.

Seachmall

kerry4sam wrote: »

Oh jeez man I wish I knew the names of some people I've had random conversations with. With some we've been speaking whenever we meet (for years) and I do not, to this day, know their name! It can be fupping embarassing tbh!

Normally conversations start up with something happening around us with another person or location and it just grows from there. I've had the strangest of conversations with people that I still randomly meet and to this day I do not know their name. I'd ask others later if I see them again if they know them, but nope. Their are still random people out there who know me to see; chat away to me no bother, but I do not know who they are

You think you're bad, I confuse the names of my best friends. People I've known for years, and if we're out drinking it's guaranteed I'll call someone by the wrong name.

It's more or less accepted at this stage that I'm terrible with names, but it's still awkward when I do it.

krudler

I just give off an air of unlikeability and that prevents all banal conversations about the de gubberment and de wedder, it's great.

muck_raker

one of the things irish people excel at , small talk with complete strangers , I do it all the time , don't expect to ever speak to the person again either yet its great

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Hate small talk with people I don't know. Especially with parents who have kids or people on public transport.

I love chatting to strangers! I'll talk the hind legs off a donkey though.

I can be quite nervous going into a party on my own, very nervous in fact to the point where I feel a little bit of panic but then chin up, tits out, smile on your face and the hard part is over quick enough.

One of my favourite things about Ireland. You'll always find someone to chat to.

heretochat

Deleted User wrote: »

I love chatting to strangers! I'll talk the hind legs off a donkey though.

I can be quite nervous going into a party on my own, very nervous in fact to the point where I feel a little bit of panic but then chin up, tits out, smile on your face and the hard part is over quick enough.

One of my favourite things about Ireland. You'll always find someone to chat to.

Especially when you stick your tits out at a party..

heretochat

heretochat wrote: »

Especially when you stick your tits out at a party..

Hmmm, bad turn of phrase in AH I guess

DeanAustin

Deleted User wrote: »

Hmmm, bad turn of phrase in AH I guess

You do know that if you talk to any man and stick your tits out, he thinks you want to sleep with him? Doesn't just apply to the people on here.

Archeron

Farts are good ice breakers. Let a long loud wet one and somebody will say "that'll be a boil wash"

Muise...

Deleted User wrote: »

Hmmm, bad turn of phrase in AH I guess

not when they're SSF fundraising tits.

The conversations I like best are the unexpected ones, like if I'm in a pub and two fellas are trying to settle an argument, so we end up talking about shoes and ships and sealing wax. Once I was in a hospital waiting for an X-Ray, making boring smalltalk with others in the queue, when the radiographer ushered me into the room with: "What was the name of Anna Karenina's fancy-man?" "Vronsky" says I. "That's it! Polish fella in before you only he's a Bronsky."

conorhal

Deleted User wrote: »

I love chatting to strangers! I'll talk the hind legs off a donkey though.

I can be quite nervous going into a party on my own, very nervous in fact to the point where I feel a little bit of panic but then chin up, tits out, smile on your face and the hard part is over quick enough.

One of my favourite things about Ireland. You'll always find someone to chat to.

While that may be an effective tactic for you, but being a bloke, it's a course of action that rarely illicits a positive response.

hmmm perhaps I should consider giving it another go but this time use a push up bra....

old hippy

Depends where I'm at and who I end up in conversation with. I used to miss the banter back home and for a while, I believed that London was a bit cold. But then, I got to meet people and found it's a lot easier to meet folk and make friends than I'd originally thought.

How does one go about it? Haven't a clue. Just happens.

anncoates

more often than not, I don't really like strangers starting conversations with me in a pub if I'm alone as I actually enjoy having a quiet pint by myself sometimes and it's not an indication of wanting company.

On holiday abroad or on the way to an away match would be exceptions though.

wuzziwig

You really don't try to have these random, small talk conversations with people though, they just sort of happen. It could be anything that triggers them. An observation of an event, or a person or you might accidentally stumble when passing them and fall at their feet (yes I'm clumsy and yes this has happened a few times). You could start a convo with someone and get nothing back but then you turn to the person at the other side of you and you hit it off straight away.

I end up talking to total strangers about the most bizzare things when I'm on a night out. My friends constantly have to pull me away from conversations when we are moving from pub to pub.

Artful_Badger

Most people don't like strangers trying to start conversations with them. The world is full of head down, make no eye contact type people who seem to think its the hallmark of a lunatic to try talk to people they dont know. Unless there is drink involved of course, then everyone is your friend.

Janey mackers, has noone ever heard the phrase "chin up, tits out" before?

Wossack

directors commentary on pornos count?

chest out more usually

StephenHendry

occasions like the AI op are great in terms of having a conversation with strangers, it gives the other person something to talk about, they would be more comfortable talking to you about the game as a conversation starter with you as you were wearing your clare jersey,

the weather imo is great for conversation with strangers, we love discussing/bemoaning it any time of the year etc.

AnonoBoy

Deleted User wrote: »

Janey mackers, has noone ever heard the phrase "chin up, tits out" before?

No.

Stop making up breast-centric phrases.

Didn't the Gardai have to speak to you about this before?

BBDBB

AnonoBoy wrote: »

No.

Stop making up breast-centric phrases.

Didn't the Gardai have to speak to you about this before?

he mumbled something about it, but he wasn't maintaining eye contact if you know what I mean

salacious crumb

Deleted User wrote: »

Janey mackers, has noone ever heard the phrase "chin up, tits out" before?

Evidently not :pac:

BeerWolf

My mummy told me to never talk to strangers...

seenitall

One of the best things about Ireland is that when you walk into an old man's pub by yourself, you are guaranteed not to be left to your own devices for very long.

I love it, that genuine interest and friendliness and initiative in people here. Not many other places like that in Europe.

Czarcasm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Janey mackers, has noone ever heard the phrase "chin up, tits out" before?

I'd heard of "head up, shoulders back" before alright, but you've just reminded me of the time Joey from Friends was talking to Chandler after coming back from the tailors -

"What do you mean there's no cupping?"

Santa Cruz

old hippy wrote: »

Depends where I'm at and who I end up in conversation with. I used to miss the banter back home and for a while, I believed that London was a bit cold. But then, I got to meet people and found it's a lot easier to meet folk and make friends than I'd originally thought.

How does one go about it? Haven't a clue. Just happens.

Women love when you pay them a compliment. You know, something like
"for such a fat girl you don't sweat much"

returnNull

Seachmall wrote: »

I was in Dublin the other day for the All Ireland replay and it seemed everywhere I went a conversation would start with strangers as a result of me wearing the Clare jersey and it got me thinking; how do most folk go about striking up chat with randomers when there isn't such an obvious topic of conversation?

I'm generally half-cut when I'm having the banter with folk I don't know and it usually starts with me asking about some TV show or looking for a general opinion but I've seen people walk up to others and just jump straight into a story, and then there's the more traditional "Hi, I'm David..." introductions.

I'm not talking about the conversations you naturally fall into, but instead when you're out and must make a conscious effort to mingle (at a wedding or business thing for example).

I'm assuming it varies with age, people over 30 seem more comfortable with the direct introductions yet people in their early twenties seem to take a different approach.

So, AH, how do you go about making friends?






Thinly veiled "I need help making friends" thread.

Up the banner!!

returnNull

Deleted User wrote: »

Janey mackers, has noone ever heard the phrase "chin up, tits out" before?

I think you only hear that around xmas whoopsy :pac:

Amirani

I used to be terrible at this when I was younger but I've gotten a lot better at it, largely by necessity when travelling alone.

old hippy

Santa Cruz wrote: »

Women love when you pay them a compliment. You know, something like
"for such a fat girl you don't sweat much"

That line's so old it's rusted.

krudler

seenitall wrote: »

One of the best things about Ireland is that when you walk into an old man's pub by yourself, you are guaranteed not to be left to your own devices for very long.

I love it, that genuine interest and friendliness and initiative in people here. Not many other places like that in Europe.

I hate that tbh, best thing about big cities is the sense of anonymity, everyone just leaves you alone. rural places are all about people knowing everyone else's business.

old hippy

krudler wrote: »

I hate that tbh, best thing about big cities is the sense of anonymity, everyone just leaves you alone. rural places are all about people knowing everyone else's business.

Yes and no. In London, at any rate, it's sometimes like a whole bunch of towns and villages all stuck together. Sometimes too many people can know your business like back home :eek:

Fox_In_Socks

krudler wrote: »

I hate that tbh, best thing about big cities is the sense of anonymity, everyone just leaves you alone. rural places are all about people knowing everyone else's business.

Oh Jesus, the krudlers were always that way! Quare out!:D

krudler

old hippy wrote: »

Yes and no. In London, at any rate, it's sometimes like a whole bunch of towns and villages all stuck together. Sometimes too many people can know your business like back home :eek:

Like i've been in places abroad and people are pretty friendly but don't impose themselves on you like Irish people seem to. Ages ago I was waiting for someone in a pub in a small town and this oul fella sitting a good 10 feet away from me just goes "are you a local man yourself?!" I genuinely didn't realise he was talking to me as he was so far away. I'd say it was the kind of place that a different reg car parked in the village would be mentioned in the parish newsletter.

old hippy

krudler wrote: »

Like i've been in places abroad and people are pretty friendly but don't impose themselves on you like Irish people seem to. Ages ago I was waiting for someone in a pub in a small town and this oul fella sitting a good 10 feet away from me just goes "are you a local man yourself?!" I genuinely didn't realise he was talking to me as he was so far away. I'd say it was the kind of place that a different reg car parked in the village would be mentioned in the parish newsletter.

Sometimes it's genuine curiosity and no ill intent meant but yeah, I know what you mean. I spent a week in a well known town out West (back in the 80s) and I swear, after a few days I'd have complete strangers saying to me "there's yer man with the red shoes"

krudler

old hippy wrote: »

Sometimes it's genuine curiosity and no ill intent meant but yeah, I know what you mean. I spent a week in a well known town out West (back in the 80s) and I swear, after a few days I'd have complete strangers saying to me "there's yer man with the red shoes"

Oh yeah I get that, but I just leave people alone, some people seem to have an inability to be quiet around others and leave them alone, buses, doctors offices, pubs, wherever. the "cheer up it'll never happen" brigade.

old hippy

krudler wrote: »

Oh yeah I get that, but I just leave people alone, some people seem to have an inability to be quiet around others and leave them alone, buses, doctors offices, pubs, wherever. the "cheer up it'll never happen" brigade.

First time I came back to Dublin, 2 years after leaving, was sat in Kehoe's and these 2 guys were sat opposite me. I'd never laid eyes on them before. One of them gives me a big grin and says in a cheesy fake Laaahndaaahn accent "awiiight, mate". Bizarre! It's not like I'd suddenly adopted pearly kings and queens attire!

Muise...

krudler wrote: »

Oh yeah I get that, but I just leave people alone, some people seem to have an inability to be quiet around others and leave them alone, buses, doctors offices, pubs, wherever. the "cheer up it'll never happen" brigade.

correct response: "well it's certainly never going to happen with you."

krudler

krudler wrote: »

the "cheer up it'll never happen" brigade.

This is, without doubt, one of the most irritating phrases ever to be uttered by anyone, anywhere.

krudler

Deleted User wrote: »

This is, without doubt, one of the most irritating phrases ever to be uttered by anyone, anywhere.

Isn't it, only way to stop people in their tracks is tell them something horrendous has just happened you. The looks on their faces soothes me to sleep at night.

PhlegmyMoses

I just drive up to the question mark on the map and see what happens from there.

kiffer

1. Strangers are the enemy.
2. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
3. I find that what works best is to find something that just happened and hope they respond.
Bus late? "Do you know when the bus is due?" ... "oh thanks, these leap cards are great".
Guy just ran into the room and said "Wham are reforming!" Ask the person next to you if they know what the hell is going on.
Person beside you is reading a book? Shut the fudge nuckle up and say nothing. Seriously, Eff You stranger...

Whatcha reading...?
Oh it's [Book Tiltle] by [Author] *goes back to reading...
Is it any good?
... I'm enjoying it. *goes back to reading...
What's it about?
... well you've ruined the flow of a good bit so I guess I'm forced to talk to you... you *sshole.

krudler

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

I just drive up to the question mark on the map and see what happens from there.

I get references.

salacious crumb

krudler wrote: »

. the "cheer up it'll never happen" brigade.

I always tell them it already has. That shuts them up right sharp.