Religious reprocussions of a civil ceremony

Nicman

Hey guys,

We're having a civil ceremony next year. We don't attend mass and have lived several places over the last 10-20 years so don't have an attachment to a church or priest (eg: home village etc), and have generally lost our faith in recent years with all the negativity created by the Catholic church.

We didn't feel the need or want to get married in a church, but recently I have been wondering if this will have a knock on effect in the future - say if we want to christen our kids in a church etc? I know this sounds hypocrytical but if some changes came about in Catholicism we may return to the church over time, who knows, maybe we won't, but I don't want to be penalised forever more say, for not getting married in a church by a Catholic priest.

Thanks

pwurple

You could chat to a priest about it, I get on quite well with our local PP, he pops in for the odd cup of tea and we talk about these things. I don't see why it would be a problem. Children of unmarried parents are baptised, so I see no reason why children of a couple married outside the church would be denied if you wanted it in the future.

I've been looking into Anglicanism for the last few months. Maybe that would suit you better. Some variety of Protestantism is probably where a lot of irish cultural catholics actually align, if it weren't for the political hangover associated. Women in the church, divorce allowed, married clerics, transubstantiation gone etc.

We were married by a catholic priest (although not in a church, and there was no mass, just the marriage rites), and we baptised our child in an RC church where my mother-in-law attends. Our local school is COI, which I've enrolled our daughter in.

Nicman

pwurple wrote: »

You could chat to a priest about it, I get on quite well with our local PP, he pops in for the odd cup of tea and we talk about these things. I don't see why it would be a problem. Children of unmarried parents are baptised, so I see no reason why children of a couple married outside the church would be denied if you wanted it in the future.

I've been looking into Anglicanism for the last few months. Maybe that would suit you better. Some variety of Protestantism is probably where a lot of irish cultural catholics actually align, if it weren't for the political hangover associated. Women in the church, divorce allowed, married clerics, transubstantiation gone etc.

We were married by a catholic priest (although not in a church, and there was no mass, just the marriage rites), and we baptised our child in an RC church where my mother-in-law attends. Our local school is COI, which I've enrolled our daughter in.

Thanks for that, yeah I wouldn't say we're atheists or anythnig, just disappointed in the religion we grew up with. I miss having a faith of some sort and would hate to deny our future children of a religion just because of our impression of it now. I suggested Protestantism to the OH due to theie more liberal views on life whilst retaining a Christian belief, but again with the Political background etc etc blah blah he said no way!!

We'll see.... but good to know - I figured myself it was ok but of course had some opinions being voiced since we told them about the civil ceremony! :-[

stinkle

Hi, I have relatives who had a civil ceremony and whose kids were all christened and have made communion, confirmation without any hassle as far as I'm aware. I know that's just one example but hope it helps

sillysocks

Don't think it would make any difference. We recently had our son baptised and weren't asked about being married or to show marriage cert. We got married abroad so the priest wouldn't have had any record of our marriage without us showing it so I don't think you'd have any issue.

Spanish Eyes

Lots of people who are unmarried, or living together get their kids baptised in the CC.

Don't see why it would be any different for OP.

It's the child that matters to the Church....another soldier for the Lord and all that.

There is nothing to worry about.

Nicman

Thanks lads, that's a sigh of relief then! I guess I just wondered would we be sorry at soem point in the future to not have our marriage recognised by the church.... sure if were ever somethnig we regretted personally then I'm sure we can always do a blessing in the future by a priest. So the important stuff is all good though so thanks alot for that

tatli_lokma

Having a blessing at a future date may prove difficult.

That aside, you being catholic or married as catholics has no bearing on your children being baptised as catholic. Sorry to sound cynical, but most parishes won't refuse adding another number to their fold by refusing to baptise children of parents married civilly. As far as they would be concerned since you are both baptised catholic, have received the sacriments of baptism, communion and confirmation then you are a catholic and even if you weren't they would still baptise your children catholic - although they might have concerns about teaching the faith if you were not a member of the faith yourself, but they would be very unlikely to refuse to baptise the children.

My personal opinion on it is that the chances of the catholic church changing very much in your lifetime, or that of your childrens are very slim. And just as you have lost faith in the religion, perhaps it would be fairer on your kids not to align them to any specific faith and instead let them make up their own minds when they are older. You can still teach them about the religion, but also about others too and then let it be their choice. I am not a practicing catholic and have long since left the catholic church behind. I would answer as 'no religion' if asked. I wish my parents had not had me baptised or made my communion/confirmation as I don't get a say in it - the church still lists me as one of them! I wish it was still possible to un-baptise yourself - you could a few years ago, but not anymore.

Nicman

tatli_lokma wrote: »

Having a blessing at a future date may prove difficult.

That aside, you being catholic or married as catholics has no bearing on your children being baptised as catholic. Sorry to sound cynical, but most parishes won't refuse adding another number to their fold by refusing to baptise children of parents married civilly. As far as they would be concerned since you are both baptised catholic, have received the sacriments of baptism, communion and confirmation then you are a catholic and even if you weren't they would still baptise your children catholic - although they might have concerns about teaching the faith if you were not a member of the faith yourself, but they would be very unlikely to refuse to baptise the children.

My personal opinion on it is that the chances of the catholic church changing very much in your lifetime, or that of your childrens are very slim. And just as you have lost faith in the religion, perhaps it would be fairer on your kids not to align them to any specific faith and instead let them make up their own minds when they are older. You can still teach them about the religion, but also about others too and then let it be their choice. I am not a practicing catholic and have long since left the catholic church behind. I would answer as 'no religion' if asked. I wish my parents had not had me baptised or made my communion/confirmation as I don't get a say in it - the church still lists me as one of them! I wish it was still possible to un-baptise yourself - you could a few years ago, but not anymore.

I know what you mean - because you were part of it for so long (for me anyway) there's this guilt and it feels like I actually have to prise myself away from it.... I think thats why there's so many others like me around - afraid to fully leave it but not agreeing with any of the principles!

anyway thanks for that

pwurple

Nicman wrote: »

I think thats why there's so many others like me around - afraid to fully leave it but not agreeing with any of the principles!

Cripes, you hopefully still agree with the principles! Thou shalt not steal, kill etc?

It's probably how it's put into practice which bothers you.


Anyway, No religious repercussions of a civil ceremony.

Nicman

Well yeah that's what I meant, the structure and implementation of it rather than the principles