What is wrong with me?

Belle E. Flops

I've never been in a relationship. I'll text guys I've met out and it goes great until I'm asked out for coffee/drink etc. Then I panic, make up an excuse and that's the end of him. What is wrong with me?
I've always been single (I'm in my mid 20s) and I am quite happy being alone, but every now and then I do
think 'God it would be nice to have someone'.
I tell people I like being single, which I am, but I'm afraid that I'm missing out and that when I'm old I'll be sad and full of regret.

Lauzzy22

Belle E. Flops wrote: »

I've never been in a relationship. I'll text guys I've met out and it goes great until I'm asked out for coffee/drink etc. Then I panic, make up an excuse and that's the end of him. What is wrong with me?
I've always been single (I'm in my mid 20s) and I am quite happy being alone, but every now and then I do
think 'God it would be nice to have someone'.
I tell people I like being single, which I am, but I'm afraid that I'm missing out and that when I'm old I'll be sad and full of regret.

You need to relax and just chill out! Don't panic about goin on a date it's not like he's just asked to marry you! Just go if its a disaster well then f**k it but ye never know till you try!! Obviously it's not a pleasant feeling goin on the first date but once you get through the awkward hello and all that and are settled its grand! I'm still single at 22 and was the exact same and I put down me caring too much and worrying as to why I still am so if I'm asked out again I'm just gonna go with the flow life's too short grow a pair!

Belle E. Flops

Growing a pair is my only option.
I think I'll just have to force myself to go in future.
I think the thing that always stops me is that I think I'll be a disappoinrnent. I always think that when he meets me sober, I won't be as good looking, or funny or interesting as he thought.
Confidence issues are the devil.

TwoGallants

Hi OP. I was like you for a long time (I'm a man) But you know what? I took a chance with a girl I really liked and now it turns out that we're very deeply in love with one another. You're right, being single was nice. I too had convinced myself I was happy. But real love, deep romantic love with somebody you care about so absolutely. That is a different kind of happiness. You're right, if you never get to experience that in your entire life, you will regret it.

Lauzzy22

Belle E. Flops wrote: »

Growing a pair is my only option.
I think I'll just have to force myself to go in future.
I think the thing that always stops me is that I think I'll be a disappoinrnent. I always think that when he meets me sober, I won't be as good looking, or funny or interesting as he thought.
Confidence issues are the devil.

Yeah I'm the same well was, it depends on the fella too though if he's laid back and not an arsehole then your alright and it helps if there easy to talk to. Honestly you'll be fine and being too confident can be a turn off if they don't like you for you then let them off plenty more fish in the sea! Just act like you aren't nervous and don't talk about yourself too much ask them stuff. I find it hard meeting someone and when someone new starts texting I just give up cause the truth is I'm just so lazy and before was putting all my attention on to men that were clearly using me. All my friends are in relationships and some have kids already! I know there's nothing wrong wit me I've made mistakes in the past but sure who hasn't. Just be yourself and go on these dates your lucky ur gettin them and u must be meeting the right ones if its out in nightclubs and there asking you out after I don't get that that often cause i go for players so your doin somethin right!!!

Belle E. Flops

Lauzzy, you're a great woman for a pep talk.
I really must cop myself on, it's pathetic the way I have been dealing with this. I think I just needed to write it down, because I had convinced all my friends, and almost convinced myself that I love being single but really I've just been too afraid.
My new resolution starting now, is to man up and go for it. (Hopefully I'll still be so determined if the opportunity presents itself again.)

Lauzzy22

Belle E. Flops wrote: »

Lauzzy, you're a great woman for a pep talk.
I really must cop myself on, it's pathetic the way I have been dealing with this. I think I just needed to write it down, because I had convinced all my friends, and almost convinced myself that I love being single but really I've just been too afraid.
My new resolution starting now, is to man up and go for it. (Hopefully I'll still be so determined if the opportunity presents itself again.)

And it will!! Just be ballsy!! If asked again just think and don't make excuses not to go always think life's too short!!! :-) u go girl!! Haha!!!

czechlin

Hello there! Haha master of first dates here! You remind me of myself a while back. Except that I would actually make the first date, but rarely anyone would make it to the second one. And a third one? Sci-fi! Why? I was too chicken. Although plenty of people thought I just liked the fun of it. The truth was - like you - I thought I'd be a disappointment etc. (confidence issues). I fell into a sort of a pattern (as Lauzzy22 I'd go for players too) and then realized I got too comfortable in my ways and being single. I couldn't even be bothered with dates any more and became quite cynical too and it scared me a bit. I don't wanna be like this. So over the past few months I've changed my attitude. Put myself out "there" again, step by step and it's not that bad! Like said above - life's too short!