Can I call for for former addicts please?

axel rose

Ok, I drink but I'm not addicted. However my good friend most definitely has a problem. Thankfully, she has recently made the decision to live without alcohol. She doesn't live close, she has a family, she has a husband.

I was not unaware that her drinking habits were outside the norm and I want to be supportive. I don't particurly want to applaude her every time she sips her coffee....but she has yet to attend an AA meeting.

So may I ask- is there an alternative to AA? Are there warning signs I should be aware of...what would typically P1ss off someone in her situation? I don't want to patronise her.

When is it ok to drink a glass of wine at a meal in front of them?

Can an alcoholic ever be able to drink and stop within reason?.....I'm that clueless.

xzanti

She has made the decision to stop.. leave her be and see how she gets on..

If she asks you for help, that's your cue to help.

IMHO.

Re drinking in front of her.. that's really for you to gauge. It depends on the situation really.

I don't believe an alcoholic can ever drink "normally".. and only when they accept this, can they really begin to let go of that illusion..

They may believe they have changed.. and indeed they may succeed on the first few occasions in having a few and calling it a night.. but inevitably they will end up sliding down that slope again.. it may happen gradually or they may slide helter skelter into 'the pit' on the first sip.. Either way.. it will happen. Sure as death and taxes.

IMHO!!

Sunnyisland

xzanti wrote: »

She has made the decision to stop.. leave her be and see how she gets on..

If she asks you for help, that's your cue to help.

IMHO.

Re drinking in front of her.. that's really for you to gauge. It depends on the situation really.

I don't believe an alcoholic can ever drink "normally".. and only when they accept this, can they really begin to let go of that illusion..

They may believe they have changed.. and indeed they may succeed on the first few occasions in having a few and calling it a night.. but inevitably they will end up sliding down that slope again.. it may happen gradually or they may slide helter skelter into 'the pit' on the first sip.. Either way.. it will happen. Sure as death and taxes.

IMHO!!

Well said

hubba

I would definitely just leave her be for a while or maybe send the odd text or email gently enquiring how she is. It can be very tough, changing your lifestyle that radically and she may feel both vulnerable and fragile at the moment but she will need to keep focused and busy in a constructive way. Maybe tell her you are there for her, if she needs to talk to someone, and maybe offer to do something alcohol free with her like go for a walk or visit a gallery?

As for when to drink in front of her, that's really something you can't assess so just do what you normally do. If she can't cope with being around people drinking then I'm guessing she will avoid that until she can.

Carpet diem

axel rose wrote: »

Ok, I drink but I'm not addicted. However my good friend most definitely has a problem. Thankfully, she has recently made the decision to live without alcohol. She doesn't live close, she has a family, she has a husband.

I was not unaware that her drinking habits were outside the norm and I want to be supportive. I don't particurly want to applaude her every time she sips her coffee....but she has yet to attend an AA meeting.

So may I ask- is there an alternative to AA? Are there warning signs I should be aware of...what would typically P1ss off someone in her situation? I don't want to patronise her.

When is it ok to drink a glass of wine at a meal in front of them?

Can an alcoholic ever be able to drink and stop within reason?.....I'm that clueless.

If I was your friend getting an invite to go to cinema or theatre or something non drink related would be good so then I wouldn't feel pressurised to drink and also would make me think this is a friend worth holding onto. When you give up drink certain friends just are drinking buddies and they immediately have to be brushed aside (for want of a better word).