Scared to leave him?

numnumcake

Hi guys was wondering if anyone could give me some advice about a situation I am in. I'v been going out with this guy for two years now ever since the very beginning of college. The relationship was quite rushed into. I wanted to put it off a bit but he wanted to get in a relationship straight away so I said ok and see where it would go.

Overall it has been a good relationship we get along well don't argue much and have come through a few rough patches. I get along really well with all his family and he gets along with mine. I always thought I was happy in the relationship but the past few weeks I'v been having doubts.

I feel like we are more like friends than a couple we are not that intimate any more. I'v become really close to this other guy as a friend but I am feeling that if I wasn't in a relationship it would be more than that. I'v been able to relax around him and I feel like my old self again.

My friends have commented that when I am around my boyfriend I am not myself and miserable. There is no solid reason why I wan to break up with him I just feel that spark in the relationship is gone and it's not coming back.

I said it to him the other day that I didn't think things were right between us and he started getting really upset and begging me no to leave him. He said he will spend more time with me and the like but its not like anything he can change will fix the relationship and I don't know how to break this to him. He has had problems with depression in the past and I'm scared he will do something bad if I leave him. What should I do?

username123

numnumcake wrote: »

He has had problems with depression in the past and I'm scared he will do something bad if I leave him. What should I do?

You are not responsible for this mans mental health. You are ready to move on - so do so. Your responsibility is to yourself. You cannot be expected to stay in a relationship with someone so that they dont get depressed - do you see how ridiculous that is?

Break up as nicely as you can, simply explain its not for you, wish him all the best, and move on.

Stop taking on the responsibility for this persons happiness and take responsibility for your own.

Brego888

It sounds like your mind is made up to break up with him so I would trust your gut feeling on this. You're quiet young and have probably out grown each other.

However a word of caution would be that the spark and excitement always wears off in a relationship over time. It's the person that's left behind after this evolution that you have to decide whether you'd like to stay with them in the long term. The attention that you're getting from this other lad obviously is great and gives you some excitement again. But the grass isn't always greener.

alias06

If you have decided to leave him then you need to be gentle but firm and tell him that it is over and that he needs to get whatever help he needs to deal with this.