I am terrible with money and it makes me unhappy

Wanderer2010

Ok, so first off I have a well paid job which is permanent so im very lucky, but my problem is Im terrible with money and I think having very little of it growing up has led me to sort of "go mad" and enjoy most of what I earn each month. I have no common sense when it comes to holidays- buy straight from the hotel and airline, buy a tonne of stuff on holidays just for something to do and the buzz of bringing back new stuff. I get very embarrassed when my workmates always scoff when I share what i bought recently (I should prob keep my mouth shut!), they say stuff like "What are you like, you could have got that on <insert website> for half nothing".

I dont have a lot of self esteem and I was bullied a lot in school so in a way money makes me feel a bit better and I have improved a little in recent years in that I always put a bit away in savings each month but I am genuinely ignorant on how the best ways to save money in shopping/cars/home etc are. I seem to just go for the easy option and spend too much. But as well, despite all the people out there who are struggling, It seems all i see when in town are young people (Im 30) in the best of clothes flashing 50euros around and drinking fancy coffee and I think "Theres still plenty of money out there, so its normal". I know that thought seems silly but Im working with people who have no recession and I see so much money out there I always justify it.

This issue is really getting me down because my credit card is rising very fast and despite my wage I always am short the week before pay day. Has anyone any suggestions on how I can have a more realistic and healthy attitude towards money?

gugleguy

knock the credit card problem on the head NOW.
Then give the credit card up. First, see what monthly payments are being handled thru the card. Make alternative arrangements for the more important payments. Credit cards can become a lot like cigarettes for smokers , both users can come to see them as their best friends. Only ur flexible friend is causing you to sink further into debt.
take care mate.

iusedtoknow

You can't make any big changes quickly, or else you'll fall back into your old ways before you know it.

Do you budget? If not you should take a month or two writing EVERYTHING that you spend down. It is annoying but it'll give a good idea of where your money is going. Once you have enough data, you can then start fixing things. The only big change you should make is to stop using your card. Laser/visa debit should be the only card you use except for booking flights etc.

There are fixed expenses - rent/mortgage, internet, mobile phone, utilities and food.
Everything else after that is pretty much up to you.

Make paying off your CC debt a priority. Pay off as much as you can afford a month. Set aside your cash for rent, fixed bills and start a "rainy day fund", even if it is 10 or 20 euros initially, set it aside from your current account.

Budget for holidays, and spend some time searching for the best deals.

I used to be like you, but ending every month with little to show for it was depressing. My wife was in the same boat, and we worked together to get places. The first month we saved E50 into a rainy day fund. We are now at the point where we save ALL of her salary,
and live off mine, and still save a bit of that as well. It takes work and commitment, but it is worth it.

MouseTail

What are your financial goals? It is easy to be a spendthrift when there are no calls on your money, and you are not working towards a goal.

You could read some of the Alvin Hall stuff, he has written quite a bit about the psychology of spending.

I would advise setting a short, mid and long term goal. The short term could be to clear your credit card within 3 months, or to give yourself x amount cash each week this month and not use the cc. Mid term could be to have 3 months living costs in a savings account, long term, buy your own home. They are examples, you know what your own aspirations are.

There is no point saving when you have cc debt! Get that under control first.

iusedtoknow

MouseTail wrote: »

W
There is no point saving when you have cc debt! Get that under control first.

I agree with much of what you wrote except for that

I think a bit of saving while paying of CC debt is a good psychological boost, but in all honesty - i think it's up to each person

Also OP, you should spend some time on personal finance websites

www.budgetsaresexy.com is a good one, lifehacker often has good tips on personal finance.

Taltos

Lauzzy22 - we have removed your post. Please take some time to read our charter. Due to the nature of the issues here this is a strictly moderated forum and all posters are asked not to post unless they have constructive advice to offer. Breaches of these rules can and do result in losing your posting rights here.

Thanks
Taltos

stupidpiggy

Hey OP

I had a similar issue a few years ago.

First thing you need to do is get rid of your credit card. I will never own one again

Pay it off and chop it up, it's not real money, you get buyers remorse twice and the interest you end up paying is disgusting.

I went to a counsellor for some other issues - self esteem related like yourself and the effects of that had a knock on effect with my finances. I was buying things for external validation - not saying this applies to you but it was because I felt I needed a new outfit everytime I went out to look well or be accepted etc. I didn't want to miss out on any nights out, and I needed to distract myself with shoppping and the instant gratification it gave me rather than actually focus on the stuff that really matters.

If you have a raising credit card balance but no serious debts from this issue - you're able to pay your bills but a bit short at the end of the month? Then, you don;t need to worry to much because it's probably very fixable. You said you've started putting money aside, that's great, well done

As someone else suggested, try working toward a goal. Try to save a certain sum of money - whatever works for you. I started with €1k and I did it to prove to myself that I COULD have control of my spending. Then in each situation where I wanted to buy something I didn't need I would ask myself which I wanted more - to reach my goal or to buy something else I already have 25 of that will just end up being forgotten.

It takes practice but if you reach that goal, you will feel great, in control and you won;t go back.

Best of luck, it doesn;t sound as bad as you possibly think it is in your head x