I like this girl but.....: appreciate your advice:

LegacyUser

Hi! I have just turned 38 years old. I have a house, good job and good life to be honest. My whole life, I have battled anxiety & ocd.
I have worked hard to manage all this and do well considering the battle it is for me at times.
I have had a few girlfriends, but never fallen in love. I find it hard to know how I feel about a girl..
So,.... a girl I met 2 years ago, while I was travelling, is coming to visit me this year. We have met once in Liverpool, where she lives and just texted and facebooked in between. She knows I like her ( drunken text from Central America!) and it was her idea to visit.
- she is 26 years old: a lot younger than me.
-she lives across the water in Liverpool
- I do like her, find her really attractive and pretty & think about her a lot...

So, is it worth giving this a go... I am getting quite nervous as she will be staying in my house,,,nervous that it might be awkward or she might not enjoy herself etc..

My anxiety & ocd results in me sometimes feeling anxious and down and a bit distracted & I am worried that this might ruin the weekend...

Any feedback would be appreciated!

J

Candy_Girl

Try to stop over thinking things, why not make arrangements to do something fun each day that she is there? stuff that will break the ice and give you both a laugh...bowling, go karting (just examples) whatever you're both into. You can't read her mind or predict how she will feel so stop trying to....just have fun and enjoy

LegacyUser

Yea, hope it goes well...think the difference here is that i like this girl and am just scared things wont go well!

Thanks for your reply!

hardCopy

Assuming you're in Ireland at the minute, Liverpool is very close. Just take each visit as it comes, there's no need for either of you to make any immediate move to another country. If things go well and the relationship progresses there may come a point where the travel and time apart becomes too much but cross that bridge when you come to it.

LegacyUser

Hey! So the weekend has passed and Oh my God what a weekend... I collected her from the airport yesterday ( i was very nervous!) ..I drove her and walked her around lots of lovely local beaches etc. we went for lunch and in the evening for dinnner and pints: was a fab night..we got on really well and chatted and I really found her cute and attractive: her eyes just do it for me!
So no any affection from her..we get back to my house & chat a bit & i say could i sleep in her bed and she hesitates and says yes...we lie in bed for a while...she does nothing & i put my arm around her and she then says: if u want we can have sex, ( with condoms) and it will be fun and no affect on whether we have a relationship or not;; i was completely gobsmacked: I have slept with a fair few girls but I wasnt expecting this...Without being too graphic we had a bit of fun, but I didnt go through to the full extent: I really like her and just felt it was too soon...
Normally i would go for it..
So today I made breakfast and we went for a lovely long beach walk: we can chat all day..I put my arm around her a few times and she didnt really respond..
I felt quite tired and anxious ( a bit blushed) before she left..I dropped her to the airport. I said that I liked her, have a real soft spot for her and would like to see her again...I said she could think and whatever suits no worries...I

She has a arrived home and said thanks for a fab weekend and for doing so much for her: she had a fab time>>

I am just a bit anxious, unsettled and scatty tonight!!

JaneeMack

It sounds like you two had a great time together and I can see the butterfly everywhere! :-) Try to have fun and just go with the flow - don't push it - it doesn't sound like you're pushing it too hard anyway. :-)

LegacyUser

Hey thanks for the reply! Has been a tough day today..
I am beating myself up over not sleeping with this girl when she suggested it; i just felt it was waaayyy too soon and would have liked more of a build-up..
but how could i turn down sex: that was weird for me...
I think she likes me & is okay with having some fun, whereas I am looking at her as a potential girlfriend & have constant butterflies..

With my previous girlfriends, I have had the relaxed 'whatever' attitude and now I am in the other boat: realistically she is 26 and lives in another country so I'll just have to man up and get over her...methinks...