Change of mind?

LegacyUser

Hi guys

I would appreciate your opinions on this if you can help me.

Came out of a serious relationship last year (29F) and it took me a while to adjust but over the past few months I've been enjoying single life, going on dates, meeting new people etc
Two months ago I met a guy (31) through mutual friends, we hit it off immediately and have been meeting up once or twice a week since. There was a genuine spark and we had a blast on dates and we've shared some great experiences even in that short time (great gigs, boat trip etc). We slept together after a few weeks of seeing eachother. Everything going very well, nothing crazy serious but definitely seemed like we were both on the same level about how we felt.
However on a date last weekend were having drinks which led to 2am drunken chat where we both admitted that we are really into eachother. He initiated the conversation and said this first, said I was really special/hadn't felt like that about someone in a long time etc. Sparks were flying, it seemed like a real special, honest moment.

The thing is since that night he's gone weird. Sounds so cliche but unfortunately true. The past few weeks we've been texting throughout the day, not overboard, but 'how was your day?', flirting, teasing, and always making arrangments for our next meet up. This week however he's not replying promptly-or as he was the past few weeks- to text msgs so I've stopped texting at all. He called me lastnight and said this (not responding) was becuase he was feeling ill and having a difficult week, and would have to cancel our date tonight (He did sound bad tbh) He mentioned about meeting up at the weekend.
I sent him a text this afternoon to ask how he is feeling and I've no response as of yet.

He's a lovely, genuine guy and up until this week everything was going really well, almost too well! I'm quite a relaxed person and I certainly would not want to be persuing something that is not there.

So my question is can someone just completely change their approach and still be interested? Or is this a standard case of 'he's just not that into you?' All opinions welcome

CaraMay

In my experience, they change their approach when they are not that interested. You made the last move so sit back and see how if goes. If you don't hear from h then you will know

beks101

Ugh, hate when they do that!

I feel your frustration, but I guess for the moment you'll just have to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust that he's sick and a bit out of sorts this week. He's not really given you reason to believe otherwise as of yet.

Of course there's the possibility he got freaked out after that drunken conversation and feels he needs to row back to prevent landing himself in a full-blown relationship - but that's hardly your issue, is it.

If it were me I think I'd sit back and wait for him to make the next move - send one final text saying, "I hope you feel better soon. Would love to see you again once you're feeling up to it" and be done with it. He knows where you are, he knows how you feel - if he doesn't make the effort after that, you have your answer.

wirelessdude01

You said yourself that he sounded bad so maybe give him the benefit of the doubt.

heretochat

Sounds to me one of two things (or maybe a combination of both)

(a) That drunken conversation where things are said and then when the person wakes up with the sore head and recollects what was said there is a freak out and immediate attempt to row back. It has only been two months and a bit early in my opinion for such feelings

(b) He is genuinely sick and not up to much contact. Doesn't take much effort to text though...

As others have said the ball is in his court. Just waitand see if he gets back in contact.

Merkin

I'd always be wary of a sudden shift in what has been a pattern of behaviour up until now. He is a. either running scared and feels he may have shown his hand too early while drunk or b. genuinely feeling unwell.

As above, I'd send a text wishing him a speedy recovery and that you look forward to seeing him again and then I'd leave it. He knows where you are.

You'll soon know if he's keen or not.....I get that the waiting part will totally do your head in though....!

desbrook

I often wonder is it only in Ireland that people need drink to really talk to each other ? Talk to him sober is my advice . It doesn't need to be big and heavy - you can think of some light opener but it needs to be out in the open . It's not a crime to be into someone and if you are you need to know if he is on the same page . He may very well be playing things cool as he's afraid he'll freak you out by being too lovey-dovey - you just don't know . Find out !

fits

^ goodness don't do that, not at this stage. Id back off completely but leave lines of communication open. Id be getting ready for a fall though...

desbrook

fits wrote: »

^ goodness don't do that, not at this stage. Id back off completely but leave lines of communication open. Id be getting ready for a fall though...

Can you not see he's probably doing the same - backing off but leaving communication open ??? And now they are in limbo . She's not saying she wants to marry him or have his kids and he hasn't said that to her . All he said was he's "really into her" and she told him she felt the same What's to be scared of ? Truth liberates .