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  • 25-09-2013 10:23am
    #1
    fredjones99
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭


    mods....please delete


Comments

  • #2
    irritablebaz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 118 ✭✭irritablebaz


    you sound desperate and i understand to an extent, i lived for years with a woman i could not bear but stuck it out because i was never going to leave my children with a selfish liar that she is.

    you say you are ill but i dont know if you are fit enough to work. if you can get out of the house to work or even take a course this may help with you feeling of negativity and suffocation.

    maybe go and visit family and friends more often, you may find that you can talk to others and get a face to face perspective. i can offer no advice on saving your marriage because in my experience when things have got so bad there is usually little chance of things turning around.


  • #3
    kev1.3s
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,358 ✭✭✭kev1.3s


    Difficult situation there, you seem to be in a destructive spiral with each other an even though you say you want to make a new life plan with you're wife it won't achieve anything unless you let her know that and she feels the same. I'm no relationship expert and can only look into my own experiences for advice but one things for sure if there was a shred of hope I wouldn't walk out on my kids, wouldn't be able to live in a crumby bedsit without having day to day contact! I think anybody married for any length of time will have discovered flaws in each other's personalitys but over time little niggles manifest into a larger type of thing that grows into distain. You have to get over the feeling that she has taken the next 16 or so years off you or it will never work and go and get proper guidence from someone who knows what they are talking about.


  • #4
    fredjones99
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭fredjones99


    ....


  • #5
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP - as your title indicated you want to save the relationship I have moved it to RI as the S&D forum is more for advice for those in the process of separation and/or divorce.

    For anyone who has followed this thread in please ensure you have read the RI charter as this is a strictly moderated forum.

    Taltos


  • #6
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    I really don't understand why you resent your wife for the 4 kids. Surely if you have had 3 unplanned pregnancies then both of you are obviously fully at fault. It seems you didn't take adequate precautions to ensure you had no more kids yet you are annoyed with your wife for not aborting them... . It's very messed up.

    I can understand where you come from with regard not really wanting your life taken up by kids but it is so you can either fight it as you are doing or embrace it and give no4 child the childhood his older sibling had. He deserves that and you both have to buck up on give it to him.


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