So who do I choose?

HonorRoller

There are two girls I am interested in for now. This girl whom I love more (let's just say Girl 1) is my friend for 3 years in college but drama that happened before made me back away from her even though she showed interest in me. The other girl (let's just say Girl 2) is from a different course and I don't know her well enough but as far as I can tell she is lower risk than Girl 1. Drama with girl 1 last year turned me off but now I can see that she is now more mature and my love came back for her. However, I cannot stop courting with girl 2 because it would be unfair for her and now she is inviting me to go to cinema.

Intellectually, I should go for Girl 2 because we have something more in common and much lower risk and she still stayed in touch even though I wrongfully sent an awkward text to her . But I love Girl 1 more though we don't share much in common other than talking some mature stuff.

Brego888

Girl risk assessments, random expressions or return of love for strange reasons...
I don't think you're mature enough for a relationship. I think it would be unfair to subject these girls to you at the moment.

Esoteric_

You're stringing girl 2 along. End it with her, for her sake. Going out with her while claiming to love somebody else is wrong.

Do what you want about girl 1, but it doesn't sound like you're mature enough for an adult relationship with the way you're carrying on at the moment.

HonorRoller

Esoteric_ wrote: »

You're stringing girl 2 along. End it with her, for her sake. Going out with her while claiming to love somebody else is wrong.

Do what you want about girl 1, but it doesn't sound like you're mature enough for an adult relationship with the way you're carrying on at the moment.

You're right I am not mature enough since I haven't had a girlfriend before :-/ . I don't know I think I would go for girl 1 since I have more feelings for her and stringing girl 2 along isn't right. Or better yet, I guess I should stop trying to get into a relationship for now and focus on my studies. As you guys said I am not mature enough to be getting into relationship. I never thought relationships are this difficult. Thanks for the reply.

wirelessdude01

So girl 1 is hot and attractive and girl 2 is your standard looker and sensible. Ask your mammy to decide for you, We know who she will choose for her boy.

Big Bag of Chips

wirelessdude01, you've been here long enough to know what standard of posting is expected in PI. Take time to reacquaint yourself with The Charter if you are unsure.

I'd go for neither. Purely because you really don't sound mature enough. Take time by yourself, focus on other things and then start looking for someone new. The fact that you referred to the "drama", whatever that might be, as a lower risk is kinda shocking.

HonorRoller

Thanks for the reply guys. Sorry for the immaturity, having a strict Asian background held me back from seeing the world and it's just now I start to see the world for what it is. You are right boneyarsebogman. I have got sometime to think and I realised its not them who has problem but it's me. I would need to talk to my friend, whom I referred to as girl 1, that we are not meant for each other and it's best we keep our friendship in case she is still genuinely interested in me. For girl 2, whom I'm courting, maybe I would do the same and say I need to focus on my priorities. Even though I didn't even scratch a little what relationships are about, it's already a lot of effort. I guess it's best I give up on trying to date for now and as you said I should look for a different woman instead.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, my advice would be slightly different!

Ok if you think you genuinely love one girl, then it's not really fair to go out with another girl..... *BUT*.... You are young, you are in college and you should be enjoying all of that.

I went out with a fella in college. I liked him. I wasn't "in love" with him when we started going out. Obviously. I'm not even sure if over the course of the year I was with him that I actually fell in love with him, either. During that time, I fancied others. Often thought of going out with others etc... But I was young! I had a boyfriend, but was fairly certain we weren't going to end up married with kids. But I enjoyed being his gf!

Sometimes I think we (older, more settled people ) can be a bit hard on younger posters who are just starting out. You have to start somewhere, and it is very unlikely you will end up marrying the first girl you go out with when you are 18 or 19.

We all made mistakes growing up. Most of us probably went out with someone we shouldn't have.. but we all learned from it, and we all turned out to be reasonably ok adults

You are young. Enjoy being young. Enjoy going out with different girls, even if they aren't the love of your life. Don't over analyse things, and don't tick off a checklist for whether you should go out with a girl or not!

Don't take life *too* seriously at this stage. Plenty of time for that in 10-15 years time. For now, enjoy being young.

HonorRoller

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

OP, my advice would be slightly different!

Ok if you think you genuinely love one girl, then it's not really fair to go out with another girl..... *BUT*.... You are young, you are in college and you should be enjoying all of that.

I went out with a fella in college. I liked him. I wasn't "in love" with him when we started going out. Obviously. I'm not even sure if over the course of the year I was with him that I actually fell in love with him, either. During that time, I fancied others. Often thought of going out with others etc... But I was young! I had a boyfriend, but was fairly certain we weren't going to end up married with kids. But I enjoyed being his gf!

Sometimes I think we (older, more settled people ) can be a bit hard on younger posters who are just starting out. You have to start somewhere, and it is very unlikely you will end up marrying the first girl you go out with when you are 18 or 19.

We all made mistakes growing up. Most of us probably went out with someone we shouldn't have.. but we all learned from it, and we all turned out to be reasonably ok adults

You are young. Enjoy being young. Enjoy going out with different girls, even if they aren't the love of your life. Don't over analyse things, and don't tick off a checklist for whether you should go out with a girl or not!

Don't take life *too* seriously at this stage. Plenty of time for that in 10-15 years time. For now, enjoy being young.

I know I shouldn't get too serious in my young age but I think I will just lay off from trying to get a girlfriend for a while. I am not even ever in a relationship but I feel that there is a lot of effort. You are correct that I am stringing along these girls and it's unfair for both of them. As somebody mentioned earlier, I should go for someone instead since damage is done already for the two girls. I need to straighten things up with both of them. I should focus on my studies instead considering I'm in 3rd Year and projects are already raining down on us.