Mistreatment of elderly relative

LegacyUser

I'm concerned that an elderly relative of mine is being mistreated and I wondered if anyone on the forum had any advise or information on who to contact. She lives with relatives who are receiving an allowance for looking after her. In the last 6 months, on visits she has not been clean which is not like her at all. Her clothes and sheets are not washed regularly, and other relatives (not the ones looking after her) have, on occasion, had to organise washing her stuff. When other family members visit, they are not left alone with her, ever, which rings alarm bells with me. Just wondering if anyone has any advice as to how to proceed?

Emme

They might be able to advise you on the Carers and Caring thread.

looksee

People do have different standards of cleanliness, and while it might be undesirable to you it might not necessarily be sinister. Visitors not being left alone with the elderly person could simply be the carers being sociable to family and not thinking that their presence appears suspect. Is it such a big deal that other relatives did some washing? Maybe the carers were just pleased to see someone taking an interest and offering to 'do a bit'.

It is very easy to be critical of someone else's caring responses, maybe a bit more support and practical help would be appreciated? A Carer's allowance does not really amount to payment for 24 hour care and the responsibilities involved.

Having said all that, does the elderly person look well, do they appear to being fed adequately? If you have doubts beyond those you have listed, if the old lady seems anxious or disturbed or malnourished, the proper approach would probably be to Social Services. Do you know who her GP is? Maybe a word there might help, though don't expect the GP to get into a discussion with you, it will just be a matter of expressing your concerns.

username123

You could simply query why she appears to be in need of washing, or why bedding is dirty etc.

I agree that different people have different standards of cleanliness. Having been a carer for a family member I am also aware that the caree can get frustrated and insist they are fine rather than be disturbed.

As for being left alone,simply ask to be left alone with her.

Is the person being cared for in their right mind? Ask her directly if things are ok, in front of the careers if necessary.

annieoburns

Sadly personal hygiene is one of the things that deteriorates with dementia so this might be part of problem. Sense of smell is also one of things that fails with older years. As well as her doctor, is there a district nurse involvement that could advise?

The Princess Bride

HSE Helpline @ 1850241850

The National Centre for Protection of Older People,has this
website: www.ncpop.ie which has relevant information.