Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Advice needed

  • 23-09-2013 12:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Just looking for some advice here. I've recently started going out with someone and all is going well. I've a feeling that pretty soon it's going to come up in conversation about our exes and what our previous relationships were like and how come we split up etc etc. Now I want to be as honest as I can with my new partner and I dont want to keep anything from them however my ex had been through a lot in their life and had shared with me some very sensitive information about certain things that have happened to them over the years. Some of these things would have contributed to why we split up (ie) emotionally distant, irrational behaviour in certain situations etc. Sorry im a bit vague here but I dont want to go into any detail. So my question is how much of this do I share with my new partner? Just for clarity, there is no link between the two. They dont know each other, have no mutual friends and I can't invisage a scenario where that would change but I suppose you never know in life. I'm just not sure how to tackle this when it does arise. As I said, I want to be as honest and as open as possible with my new partner about this, and everything else in my life, however I still do feel a loyalty to the promise I made to my ex not to disclose any of the things they told me.


Comments

  • #2
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Just tell your new girlfriend/boyfriend exactly what you said here-

    Anon2013 wrote: »
    Sorry im a bit vague here but I dont want to go into any detail.


    You can be honest with each other without discussing your ex's and analysing why your past relationships didn't work out. That to me just sounds like you're both stirring up a recipe for insecurity to fester.

    Honesty is one thing. Respect for each others personal privacy and the personal privacy of other people is another, and tbh you should both leave your past relationships where they belong.


  • #3
    Rachiee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 880 ✭✭✭Rachiee


    Just say your ex was going through a hard time and it put strain on the relationship. Theres no reason to go into detail.


  • #4
    coolhandluke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 249 ✭✭coolhandluke


    Why would you want to talk about your ex's, with your new partner ? Their ex partners.......end of story.

    Didn't love them, wasn't right for me......blah blah blah, and only if they ask.


  • #5
    heretochat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 533 ✭✭✭heretochat


    coolhandluke wrote: »
    Why would you want to talk about your ex's, with your new partner ? Their ex partners.......end of story.

    Didn't love them, wasn't right for me......blah blah blah, and only if they ask.

    This is my opinion on this as well. I don't get why it is a "rite of passage" for relationships that there has to be a discussion about exes and sleeping partners etc.

    You are in a current relationship and that should be all that counts. As luke says, exes are part of your past and should stay there.


Advertisement