Can't sort my life out

LegacyUser

I can't seem to get my life in order. I'm missing days at college regularly and falling behind (I feel) in my studies. I'm not living up to my potential in other aspects like friends, hobbies etc. Luckily I have a great family and partner.

I wake up very often and I just can't get out of bed. I don't know the reason for it. I'm not sad when this happens, I just feel glued to the bed, completely blank. Even though I know I'll miss college or work I just can't move. This leads to anxiety and guilt later about the work I've missed.

Its like a neverending cycle, each week I feel like this is the week I'll be different and I'll change things for the better but it never happens. I don't know whats wrong with me. I've had treatment for depression/anxiety a couple of years ago after a very bad breakup. I've been through CBT and I genuinely feel like I'm over all them issues, but I just can't seem to get a grip and motivate myself. I used to be so driven and I feel like everything I've worked for is slipping away and I can't figure out what to do to change this pattern.

December2012

Go back to your CBT. You probably have worked through all of your issues before, you just might need a little tune up.

If you injured your leg but recovered you might need a massage from time to time over the years.

Sometimes emotional and mental health can be like that.

Tramps Like Us

mediseason wrote: »

I can't seem to get my life in order. I'm missing days at college regularly and falling behind (I feel) in my studies. I'm not living up to my potential in other aspects like friends, hobbies etc. Luckily I have a great family and partner.

I wake up very often and I just can't get out of bed. I don't know the reason for it. I'm not sad when this happens, I just feel glued to the bed, completely blank. Even though I know I'll miss college or work I just can't move. This leads to anxiety and guilt later about the work I've missed.

Its like a neverending cycle, each week I feel like this is the week I'll be different and I'll change things for the better but it never happens. I don't know whats wrong with me. I've had treatment for depression/anxiety a couple of years ago after a very bad breakup. I've been through CBT and I genuinely feel like I'm over all them issues, but I just can't seem to get a grip and motivate myself. I used to be so driven and I feel like everything I've worked for is slipping away and I can't figure out what to do to change this pattern.

I had the "can't get out of bed" thing too, were I'd just stay in bed till 5pm, missing college and everything... for which I'm paying the price now, have to repeat a year.

Here's what helped me:

Your alarm clock. Spend some time just dozing in bed some afternoon and have your alarm go off every so often. As soon as it does, jump to your feet. With lots of this over a period of a few weeks you'll end up being on your feet, out of bed almost automatically in the mornings when you're alarm goes off. It sounds daft, but it has really worked for me.

Exercise. It gives you more energy, cheers you up, improves your health, I thoroughly recommend it, since I started feel so much better, mentally especially.

average hero

Hi OP,

Congrats on reaching out. I was a little bit like you for quite some time. Family broke up, dropped out of two university courses, lost all my money and had a terrible break up. I stayed in bed for the longest time, I swear. Six years later - yes six years later, I am about to graduate from university.

Give yourself some space and some time and if you can, go and look for some professional help that you had in the past. If you can't do that right now, don't beat yourself up over it.

Life has a funny way of telling us 'when' we should do things. You will know when you're able to go to work and your classes. Try and motivate yourself to the absolute best of your ability. Make a conscious decision. Do it - you have the ability and the motivation within you.

When your mind is right, everything else will follow.

Be well and best of luck.

Diziet

Some practical tips: what time do you go to bed? Try to get 8 hours sleep, even if it means going to bed early. Have your clothes ready, your bag packed, your breakfast ready to go. Then once the alarm goes, get up. If you have had enough sleep it won't be too hard.

Try and tidy up and organise your sleeping and living space if you have not done so already. It is a great head clearing exercise.

There is no need to give yourself a long lecture on motivation. What matters is what you do, so get up, get out of the house and go to college. Without fail. You will probably find that motivation will follow.