Renting trouble and Girlfriend trouble.

miller50841

Hi all just looking for if someone is in a similar situation now or before and what they did.

I am renting with her over 2 years now and let her decide and I agreed eventually after a load of nagging to rent for a year and see how we get on.

The 1st place had huge problems from the end of the 1st month with damp and mould and lots lots more trouble.
Where we are now is nice but received a call our rent is been put up by €200 out of nowhere and goes up 28th of this month we have always paid in full and on time and keep the place like it was ours.

To put long story short it's way too much and we don't have that sort of money and as it is I am owed for some bills, a bit of rent, money for fixing the gf's car and a lot of other things and the usual I'll have it next week or some of it next month when I get paid.

I actually want to save and buy but she is happy renting and is going mad at me since I got the call about the rent saying I have to choose and just fighting with me.

She has most of her wages spent before she gets them and seems happy to have nothing and to be always struggling.
I am sick of been stuck with a lot of things and as I said only planned renting for a year and then move home and save really good as we would put same as rent or more away to get a deposit together.

Sorry for the long post but any ideas would be much appreciated.

Esoteric_

Your landlord can only raise your rent once per year, and only in line with market rates for similar properties. Check out if similar accommodation costs 200 more than your current rent. If you're paying market value, you can dispute the increase with the PRTB. Also, he can't raise it with such little notice. Check the Accommodation and Property forum here on boards for more information.

miller50841

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Your landlord can only raise your rent once per year, and only in line with market rates for similar properties. Check out if similar accommodation costs 200 more than your current rent. If you're paying market value, you can dispute the increase with the PRTB. Also, he can't raise it with such little notice. Check the Accommodation and Property forum here on boards for more information.

Thanks for the info have read a lot of the info and know the rights but just pi**ed at paying hard earned money to someone who thinks so little of us.

I am just so annoyed with how everything is and this has pi**ed me off big time as we have never been any trouble.
We have been in the apartment 1year 5 months. No lease and I would say the LL is saving on tax as we probably aren't down as living here.

I want to save and the gf thinks she will be able to save as is even with higher rent and as I said above she never has a cent to her name and it's really getting to me.

homemadecider

Where will you live if you don't want to pay rent?

miller50841

homemadecider wrote: »

Where will you live if you don't want to pay rent?

Well back home to save that was the deal all along.

Lisha

Are you having doubts about where your relationship is going op ?
Kinda sounds like you are feeling a lot of the financial burden.
Maybe a discussion about your joint finances is in order?

miller50841

Lisha wrote: »

Are you having doubts about where your relationship is going op ?
Kinda sounds like you are feeling a lot of the financial burden.
Maybe a discussion about your joint finances is in order?

Have tried that and owed money for her car insurance since over a year.

Don't get me wrong she does buy stuff and usually pays half the rent but trying to get back the bigger amounts is a pain.

She seems to have no grasp on money and how much pressure it puts me under.
Thanks for the reply.

ElleEm

Have you chatted with her (in a non shouty/ blaming) way about the money pressures?
You say she usually pays half the rent and you talk of owing money for her car insurance- are things not split evenly? Does she expect you to fund her life?
You need to sit down and realistically talk about whether you can afford to keep living outside the home if she keeps spending like she is. Would she be willing to start budgeting and spending less or does she allow you to bail her out?

Stavro Mueller

Well, they do say if you want to know someone go live with them. If your girlfriend hadn't "nagged" you into moving in with her, would you have lived together at all before buying? Were you aware of her money issues before you moved in together? While I don't blame you at all for going mad at her way of handling money, I can also see her point of view. She obviously wants the relationship to progress and you're dragging your feet and wanting to slam things back into reverse again.

What sorts of conversations have you had about her spendthrift ways? To be honest, this badly needs to be sorted now and not if you're stuck with a joint mortgage.

miller50841

We had agreed to 1 year and I let that slide and we are now 2.5 years renting.

I wanted to see how we got on but before hand was just worried it might not have worked but did but now all the issues are coming out and she is turning on me and making it all out to be my fault even just right after the phone call from LL saying they were putting up rent.

I let her use the credit card to pay for insurance over the phone as she needed to be insured and was promised to be paid back at end of the month which is well over a year now.

She is driving and her provisional is up next month and never tried for test and has no tax for 10 months and seems to think this way of living and always stuck for money is ok.

Also she told me before moving in together she owed around 2k for motor loan which turned out to be 6 times that which I only found recently. She doesn't get that if you use the likes of the gas or leave things on all day even when not there that the bills will be higher and also for 5 months the broadband was costing double the €45 a month because she was using the phone all the time.

I already said she does do the odd shop and most of the time pays half rent but other things can be bad.

Sorry for the long posts I think I just need to vent a bit also.

IrishEyes19

With all due respect to your girlfriend, she sounds like she is living in fairy land. Money doesnt grow on trees and eventually you have to be the big person and say ok, this place is lovely, but if I want a somewhat comfortable future, sacrifices have to be made. you sound like you have your feet firmly on the ground and are going in a mature direction. Im not sure your girlfriend is the same. All I'll say is, if there is bills adding up now, 200 euros extra a month is going to land you flat on your back.

You need to tell her how its going to pan out regardless of her "ideas" of it. Its not the landlords fault, although I do agree to check up on what another poster said, but even if the rent hadnt been raised, you have already pointed out how your gf doesnt seem to care that leaving things on raises bills. I'll be honest, I dont believe for a second she doesnt know that, thats how bills go up. I just think she doesnt have much respect for money or for how hard its earned.

I know it sounds harsh, but budgeting is a serious skill everyone should know and I really think you are right. I wouldnt be giving her a choice in this matter, I would be giving her a layout of what will happen, because debt is serious. If you have all these plans for the future of saving and buying, this sort of carry on will cripple you. best of luck

miller50841

The thing about the LL and the rent is it's not just the one place they have. They have a lot of property and were the developers of the complex and spend most of the time away out of Ireland.
€200 out of nowhere is crazy but if people want to pay the inflated prices I will let them on and let some other sucker pay the mad money.

The cost of living keeps going up and wages coming down sometimes I hate been Irish and how are country is run by fools.

Stavro Mueller

OK, so you're clearly from the "rent is dead money" brigade which is fair enough. You can vent all you want about the state of the country etc. but it's not going to change your much more immediate problem. It's fair to say most people would be tearing their hair out if they had a partner like your girlfriend.

My guess is that her biggest problem is that she has never had to face the consequences of her spendthrift ways. Now she has you to bail her out which is great from her point of view. It's such a shame you make protesting noises about this and spoil her fun. Have you ever sat down with a pencil and paper with her and worked out a budget? Have you ever agreed a household budget?

If you're wanting to buy something, will it be a joint mortgage application? I don't want to put the frighteners on you but it'd be a good idea to get your girlfriend to request her a credit rating report from the Irish Credit Bureau http://www.icb.ie/ If she has been lax with her car repayments or other loans in the recent past, it could scupper your application.

LegacyUser

From what you have told us I don't think your realationship has a long term furture.

The following thing are warning signals to me in regards to her actions:
You have told us she has a provisional is up next month and never tried for the test - she should have be aiming to do her test asap to bring down the cost her insurance.
You paid her car insurance last year and she still owes you for this.
She told you she borrowed €2k for a car but you discovered she borrowed 6 times this.
She has ran up high bills when you were living together - ie using the phone a lot and leaving the gas on all day.

From what you have told us I think that she has borrowed a lot of money and may have credit card debit. Her wages are just paying the debits and she is happy renting with you as you are paying half the rent/bills and baling her out when she is short of money.
I also think that she would have a poor credit history which will stop you from getting a mortage.

I would advise you to work out how much money she owes you and tell her you owe me x amount at the moment. Tell her you want this money back and get her to set up a standing order paying x amount a week or month from her salary. She has had plenty of time to pay you back but she is making no effort to do this.

I would then tell her that you can't afford to pay more rent and that you want to move back home to save for a deposit for a mortgage.
I would then remind her that you told her in the past that you wanted to rent with her for a year but that after this you planned to move home to save money.
She may not be happy about this and tell you to get lost.

At this stage you need to consider your own long term plans. The reality is that you can't afford to pay more rent and you can no longer afford to carry your girlfriend financially.
You are willing to move back home, cut back your spending ect to buy a house but your girlfriend is not willing to do this.
At this stage I would tell her that you want to end the relationship as you both want different things long term.

Santa Cruz

Read the signs, cut your losses and go or consign yourself to a life of misery with this. Those type don't change

Big Bag of Chips

Regardless of whether or not she already has a bad credit rating, do you really want to get into a 25-30-40 (whatever) year mortgage with someone who is incapable of keeping on top of bills?

I don't think she is doing any of this deliberately, which is nearly worse, because that means she can't actually control it. She is just clueless when it comes to money. Some people are bad with money, but they can accept that, and are happy when their partner takes charge of the budget and tells them what is available to spend. Some people are bad with money and don't like to be told that...

Your gf is the latter.

Unless she agrees to sit down and discuss it like a mature adult, you will never get anywhere with her.

The_Conductor

miller50841 wrote: »

The thing about the LL and the rent is it's not just the one place they have. They have a lot of property and were the developers of the complex and spend most of the time away out of Ireland.
€200 out of nowhere is crazy but if people want to pay the inflated prices I will let them on and let some other sucker pay the mad money.

The cost of living keeps going up and wages coming down sometimes I hate been Irish and how are country is run by fools.

The costs for landlords- have gone up too. I appreciate that 200 a month extra is a lot of money- but how does it compare to equivalent properties in the area? The landlord is entitled to review the rent annually (aka once a year)- this need not necessarily be the anniversary of the lease- it can be anytime- but it can only happen once a year.

As for the landlord owning and letting other properties- that is wholly irrelevant- what is relevant- you have a business arrangement with the landlord for the provision of a service (the letting of the property) at an agreed cost (the rent) with rights and obligations associated with both the landlord and tenant. It is a business arrangement. Full stop. That you are good tenants- or scumbags- is irrelevant. Its a business arrangement- fullstop. The landlord doesn't have to be a nice guy- or whatever, he has to be professional towards you- anything over and above pure professionalism- is icing on the cake- but at the end of the day- no matter how you doll it up- it is a business arrangement- no less an arrangement than repaying your girlfriends car loan may be.

It does sound like your girlfriend quite simply has no grasp of money and how to handle finances. Unfortunately there are a lot of people in this boat. There are also people who are the flipside of the coin- completely anal about finances. Neither are a good place to be. There are classes you can attend locally that help you budget. If it is the position that she has already run up debts that she has little hope of ever clearing- perhaps approaching MABS- might be an option...... She has to face up to the fact that she has a problem first of all- and having blazing rows about it, is unlikely to resolve anything.

So- she lied to you about the price of her car- or her clothes, or the night out- or whatever. Thats life- get over it. Once she has a global budget that she can manipulate to cover these things- thats life. You should not be paying for her car insurance though. If she is unable to pony up for an annual lumpsum- every single company in the market place allow people pay monthly permia (normally spread over 10 rather than 12 months) at a reasonable interest rate.

Being in a position- where you're actively fighting over money- is not going to resolve anything for anyone.

Paying for her insurance last year- was nice of you. If she was unable to come up with the lumpsum for it then though- don't expect her to now- consider it a sunk investment- and discuss how she approach this when it comes up for renewal.

Neither of you are being particularly helpful towards one another- and while the raise in the rent may simply be the needle that breaks the camels back- it is the thing that you are going to have to deal with immediately.

Its normal practice to negotiate these things with the landlord- you have been good tenants- perhaps he may be willing to accept a rise of 100 instead of the 200? Discuss it. A 100 a month- versus the property being vacant for a month or two while new tenants are organised- may be a good proposition for the landlord.

Get over the notion of you being good tenants and the landlord somehow owing you something- he doesn't- you are buying a service off him- simple as- it is a business arrangement, pure and simple. Any of his other properties or financial arrangments- are irrelevant- as is the fact that he is non-resident.

On the fact that he is non-resident- you are supposed to be deducting witholding tax from his rent @ 20% for the Revenue Commissioners- you know?

OP, it might be worth getting in contact with Threshold too.

LegacyUser

op this sounds like she's a lot younger than you, and it sounds like you're both in completely different stages in life. she seems to be in the carefree student mode and you're in the responsible adult mode. i mean how does an adult not realise that if you leave things on all day the bill is going to be higher?? i agree some people can be clueless about money and budgeting, it's unfortunately a life skill that doesn't get taught at school. but if your internet bill is a certain amount and phone calls are extra, and she makes a load of phone calls, how does she not realise that has to be paid for??

you need to have a serious sit down and have a conversation with her, this has to end for your sake. as a previous poster has said make a list of everything she owes, and agree on some ground rules. i will say the prognosis for the future of your relationship, while you're business, doesn't look good. how is she going to budget for a mortgage that simply HAS to be paid every month? if kids came, how is she going to budget for things that need to be saved for like creche fees or school fees or the like? serious conversation time op. i hope it works out for you. x

Czarcasm

OP both of you sound very immature tbh. You for just cruising along with whatever your girlfriend wanted, and your girlfriend for completely ripping the piss and taking no financial responsibility whatsoever.

If you're looking for somebody to blame for your current situation- it's not the rest of the country, it's not your landlord, it's not even your girlfriend. It's you.

Before you make a bad situation even worse (because I can already see you being talked into forking over the extra €200 at your girlfriend's behest), you need to take a long hard look at exactly what you want from your life.

Your girlfriend hasn't just ruined her own credit rating, but you're allowing her to ruin yours too by letting her use your credit card and run up debts in your name.

The best thing you can do right now for yourself, and your girlfriend, is to break up with her. It might be the wake up call she needs, because you've certainly had yours.

You're going to have to accept though that any debts between you that haven't been written down and recorded are unlikely to be paid back, and any debts run up in your name, well, those you are unfortunately responsible for, and credit card and utility companies aren't going to accept excuses like "Oh my girlfriend is half responsible for that". If your name is on it, you're solely responsible for it.

You now have two choices OP- Carry on as you are and crack up every couple of months and come to the internet to vent, or start taking some responsibility and take charge of your own life, grow a spine and learn to say no. Your girlfriend will hate you for it, but at least you'll have some chance of being able to put some savings aside for your future once your debts are paid off.

miller50841

Not immature but that's your opinion I always get given out to for been too cautious and keeping on top of everything(maybe not always but I am learning.)

We had a very long discussion and came to an agreement so everything is going okay.

Thanks for all the help everybody and appreciate you all taking time to help.