Dreaming about ex a lot

LegacyUser

I know I can't control my dreams but this is an issue that's annoying me - I keep dreaming about my ex-gf. And it's always dreams that involve us getting back together. What makes it worse is that when I dream of her, I can't get her out of my head the next day. I keep thinking back to the relationship and all the good times & how well we clicked, yet I can never convince myself there's a reason we broke up! I've had a lot of spare time to myself for the last few months so that probably hasn't helped. I know she has moved on with her life since she broke up with me 2 years ago, but I still sometimes feel like it's only a month or 2 since we broke up. How am I supposed to move on, if 2 years later i'm still thinking about it? I should probably add that it was my only relationship, and lasted 4 years right up until I was 21. The even more pathetic part is that I know she literally despises me, as we ended on very bad terms.

desbrook

Have you been with any other girls since ?

LegacyUser

I could have written the exact same post a few years ago.

It ended up taking me a good 2/3 years before I could truly say I was over her and stopped dreaming these kind of dreams. People will tell you 'there are other fish in the sea' and to get with other girls etc. Which I did do, and I guess it helped a bit but I could never give these other girls my all, which led to some bad times.

I found that taking time out to concentrate on yourself helps tremendously. Find a hobby/interest that you truly enjoy and really go for it! Learn to love yourself again.
You'll also have to keep reminding yourself of the reasons why it ended. Try to look at it objectively. Above all, time is a great healer and I guarantee you will come to realise you actually weren't meant for each other and who knows you might meet someone else I myself felt just as hopeless as you and now with a wonderful girl and am far happier than I ever was with the first one.
Good luck!

Loughc

BeenThereTshirt wrote: »

I found that taking time out to concentrate on yourself helps tremendously. Find a hobby/interest that you truly enjoy and really go for it! Learn to love yourself again.

Buy GTA 5. You will forget about anything from the outside world, food, sleep, work, love... best €60 you'll ever spend!

Cinel Moen

ExIssues wrote: »

I know I can't control my dreams but this is an issue that's annoying me - I keep dreaming about my ex-gf. And it's always dreams that involve us getting back together. What makes it worse is that when I dream of her, I can't get her out of my head the next day. I keep thinking back to the relationship and all the good times & how well we clicked, yet I can never convince myself there's a reason we broke up! I've had a lot of spare time to myself for the last few months so that probably hasn't helped. I know she has moved on with her life since she broke up with me 2 years ago, but I still sometimes feel like it's only a month or 2 since we broke up. How am I supposed to move on, if 2 years later i'm still thinking about it? I should probably add that it was my only relationship, and lasted 4 years right up until I was 21. The even more pathetic part is that I know she literally despises me, as we ended on very bad terms.

Been there too. It's not a nice place. The only thing that helped me was to move on to another girl. But it's short lived if things with another girl dont last and thoughts of her could come back.

I would speak to a councillor about it. They deal with that sort of thing and if it make you feel better its worth it.

Hannibal Smith

The worst thing about a dream is that it feels so real it makes you wonder whether you were really meant to be together. The reality is, its just a dream. Maybe something that day reminded you of her and that's what Brought on the dream...but there's nothing more to it than that.

Personally I dont think using another girl to get over your ex is a great idea.

If someone was a big part of your life its going to take time to completely forget. ..if you ever do?

Alpha Dog 1

Well the best way of getting over someone is to get under someone else.
Take that advice op or the GTA option.

carol clery

Been there too


Took me getting intouch with them and realising i was looking back through rose tinted glasses to get the closure i needed

I would say its because it ended badly and was mainly your fault by the sounds of what youre saying(her dispising you) that has you feeling like that

You need closure

jackofalltrades

ExIssues wrote: »

I keep thinking back to the relationship and all the good times & how well we clicked, yet I can never convince myself there's a reason we broke up!

The even more pathetic part is that I know she literally despises me, as we ended on very bad terms.

Do you mind me asking why she despises you and why it ended on bad terms?

It looks like you are just looking at the positive aspects of the relationship and not the bad parts.

LegacyUser

jackofalltrades wrote: »

Do you mind me asking why she despises you and why it ended on bad terms?

It looks like you are just looking at the positive aspects of the relationship and not the bad parts.

Ended bad as I was dumped by text, wasn't happy about it and may have called her a few nasty names so she now despises me. I think the fact ive not been on so much as a date in the 2 years since we broke up really isnt helping. I've kissed id say about 10 girls in that space of time and haven't had sex.

jackofalltrades

I think after going out with someone for 4 years you deserve better than being broken up with by text.
I know you're trying to find a reason why you broke up, but sometimes there isn't one. All it takes is for one of the partners to stop committing to the relationship, and in a heartbeat it's over.

All I could suggest is working on trying to accept the situation. Failing that you could always talk it out with a friend, family member or a counsellor if you're still struggling after that.

ivytwine

It's probably the lack of closure. Dreamt of my ex for ages after we broke up; horrible dreams of being in car crashes mostly.

Your brain is just processing what's happened. Process her in your waking life and the dreams should stop. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself