What is going on in my head!

Iano_128

Right so how to keep this as simple as possible.

I've been with my girlfriend around a year and a half now in total (including dating).

We live around 25 mins drive from eachother on the motorway and both work where we live. We tried to move out together there around 6 months ago but there was a load of arguments on who should make the bigger sacrifice etc as the area in the middle of us 2 is just too expensive.

Last couple of days I've been having serious doubts on whether this is someone I can see myself being with for the rest of my life. When things are good they're great and we don't fight that often in fairness, but we do irritate eachother.

My dilemma at the moment is I'm not sure I want to be with her and I really can't think of a good enough reason why! Anyone ever had this before and what helped? I'm in the middle of making a Pro's V Con's list and still can not figure out what I want for the life of me.

NicoleL88

Iano_128 wrote: »

I'm not sure I want to be with her and I really can't think of a good enough reason why!

This, the fact that you're making a pros and cons list, and reaching out here I think it's fairly clear what you want. If you're not happy, and don't see it going anywhere, why prolong it for you both?

Iano_128

Yeah I was thinking that too, if I'm making lists and looking for advice here then there's clearly a problem right? But my problem is that I can't think of 1 good reason not to want to be with her. There's some stupid ones that are going to be there in any relationship, nobodies perfect and all that..

Just don't want to end something over what could be stupid commitment issues and then regret it down the line.

NicoleL88

Sh*t sorry OP, my bad, I read that wrong. I thought you meant that you couldn't think of a reason TO be with her.

I've been in your situation before though, and I found that once I spotted a few things that bothered me (silly as they might be) they just festered and grew until that's all I could see in that person. Now, I'm not saying by any means you're like that!

How long have you been feeling like this about the relationship?

Iano_128

Yeah the same thing is kind of starting to happen with me.. The worst thing is that they are the stupidest things you could ever think of. Things that in a million years really shouldn't ever bother you! I've been feeling like this maybe the past week or so only. I was with her tonight and she could see something was up and kept asking so I said I'm having doubts but don't know if they're just commitment issues or what they are so she's real upset now and I feel terrible leaving her in the dark while I try work out what's going on in my head!

NicoleL88

Could you try talking to her about your doubts? I'm sure going over and over it in your head and her wondering what's going on isn't doing either of ye any good. Maybe it would give ye both a chance to open up and discuss any lingering problems or issues. Sometimes its best to get everything out in the open so you can both work amicably at either staying together or going your separate ways.

Iano_128

Yeah well considering she knows how I'm thinking now I think that's the best thing we can do! I just need to figure out where to start Cheers for your advice!

NicoleL88

You're welcome, and don't worry, you'll be ok regardless of the outcome! Best of luck!