Problem in College

LegacyUser

So in first year I barely went to any lectures. This was due to a combination of factors from health, to laziness, to lack of motivation. It's basically my own fault. I somehow got through exams and since last June I have been incredibly motivated to try and become the best in my class, to get the job that I want in later life.

I got in the Mid 500's in the LC (2nd time. But I took it twice and took a year off before resit to earn the money to do so.

So I'm approx 2/3 years older than my classmates, in a big degree, going into 2nd year. I'd be familiar with a few people but other than that I basically know nobody. The people that didn't have friends coming in now all basically have groups - basically it's all cliqued up, but everyone still gets along.

Now I'm not too bothered about making great friends, I already have plenty of those. All I want is to have a few people to sit next to and chat with every so often. How would you propose I go about making friends with people 2/3 years my junior who already have pretty much formed their circle of friends?

NicoleL88

Hi OP,

Have you just tried simply striking up a conversation with someone?

I remember when I was in college, I had to repeat my first year, so all the friends I had made suddenly weren't in any of my lectures anymore. It was quite scary! I literally just ended up walking over to people who were also standing alone outside the lecture hall and just introducing myself and telling them that I was repeating and finding it difficult to make friends. After a brief chat I'd ask if I could sit with them in the lecture, most times that wasn't necessary though as it was kind of "understood" that we would.

Even if you're sitting waiting for a lecturer, just ask someone to borrow a pen or even what today's date is and get chatting that way. Then you could talk about course work and how each of you is finding it.

Good luck!

reap-a-rat

Are there group assignments in your course? If so, maybe sit next to a couple of people, not a massive group and strike up a conversation . "Hey, how's it going? What about that assignment, eh? Have ye got a group yet? I'm actually looking for a group myself, dye wanna team up? How about we grab a coffee and chat about it after the lecture?"

Now, obviously thy also have input in this proposed conversation... But something like that could be worth a shot?

Failing that, again, sit next to someone and start chatting about their Summer. Maybe ask about if they're doing anything tonight. If they say they are going out tonight, you can sit next to them tomorrow and ask how the night was etc. Keep building it up from there!

Diziet

They say that 80% of success is turning up. Turning up to every single lecture, seminar or lab is good not only for your studies but also for seeing your classmates on a regular basis. If you are happy to have a chat with them you will find that friendships will form.

Try joining a society or two as well. Lots going on now in freshers week. You don't have to be a first year to join. Then go along to a few events.

Nymeria

Firstly OP, well done on setting yourself higher standards this year.
I'm just starting my third year of a four year degree, and I understand what you mean about clicks. Most people have their group that they gravitate towards; I have two or three people I sit with/ hang out with most days, but there are others in tutorials who I would talk too especially if they were sitting on their own. You may be put in groups to do project work, or maybe join a society or study group, that will help.
So I would second the previous poster who advised to turn up to classes and lectures. Its the best way to get familiar with people, especially if you have a lot of people in your year.
There are quite a few people who I vaguely recognise, but don't know well enough because they just drop off the face of the earther for weeks/ months at a time and then show up again around exam time looking terrified.