Fitting in to College

LegacyUser

Hey all,

This problem is worrying me a little of late so any help would be appreciated on the matter.

I've just started my first year in college. The course I'm undertaking seems great and I genuinely do love the area it deals with so that's no problem for me; it's the social aspect of college that I'm worried about.

I took a year out last year and worked full time as a waitress in order to build up some money for college for the following year. My friends from school all went onto different colleges, therefore I didn't get to see them that often. My co-workers were all middle-aged women and I lived at home by myself with my parents so I didn't really socialise with people my own age for a lot of the year. I really threw myself into work mainly because I was lonely at home and missed the company of people my own age.

Anyway role on this month and I'm full time in college. I'm finding it extremely difficult to relate to the students around me, I almost feel drawn towards the mature students because of it! Even my housemates I find difficult to understand at times. I almost feel older than my years. Added to that I'm not really a great fan of going out and drinking to extremes anymore- I just find that it's a waste of money. I would much prefer to save and go to a gig or go out to the pub for one or two and watch a live band. But not many seem to be like that.

The people in my course can be very immature and I just find it difficult to be around them. It's not that I'm a kill joy or anything but I just feel miles apart from these people. Because of that I feel pretty lonely, I don't really fit in with people my own age or with the mature students either. Plus I have a lot of free time to kill.

Having said that I have joined some societies and clubs that I'm interested in just to see if that helps.

Does anyone have any advice to help me fit in a little more? It is getting me down.

Santa Cruz

You are just beginning your first year but you have had the benefit of a year of "freedom" something that the other first years in general haven't had.
Joining societies is fine as long as they are societies that actually do something. I would suggest societies like a charity, political party that have regular meetings and have an event to work towards. A lot of the other societies are just excuses for piss ups.
If you have to make an effort to break in to a group then do so. Observe what is going on around you and you will see others who may feel a bit isolated too. Why not be the one to make the first moves as regards speaking to get things going. Simple questions like getting directions to a particular part of the college or where is the best place to get a particular book will get it going.
College is what you make of it so don't let it pass you by

LegacyUser

Hey Op! Well. I just had to create an account To reply to this as I happened to stumble across it while looking up 'advice on homesickness'. My situation is almost the same except I'm abroad (England) to do an add on course to what I've already graduated in back home. I've never missed home so much in my entire life, or felt more out of place. Last time around I fit in so easily- felt part of the 'group' and enjoyed the social weekly parties.. After a year at home with the parents and working with people a bit older- I do feel it has sort of matured me almost too much too! And I don't really enjoy drinking as much as I did either. Having the year out now seems like the biggest mistake IMO, as I've only wasted more time and money. I've made some friends here already though and some are in their twenties and funny people, but the rest of my class seems to be a lot younger not just in age but in all other ways. I suppose it'll take time for us both. I just kind of want to pack up, go home, reapply next year for Ireland and commute and be finished early. Let us know how you get on and if you feel any better! It is almost reassuring to know I'm not the only one feeling a bit out of place, I guess the only logical explanation is that we were at home for too long and are a bit boring?! I joke.

Irishcailin__x

Hey Op! Well. I just had to create an account To reply to this as I happened to stumble across it while looking up 'advice on homesickness'. My situation is almost the same except I'm abroad (England) to do an add on course to what I've already graduated in back home. I've never missed home so much in my entire life, or felt more out of place. Last time around I fit in so easily- felt part of the 'group' and enjoyed the social weekly parties.. After a year at home with the parents and working with people a bit older- I do feel it has sort of matured me almost too much too! And I don't really enjoy drinking as much as I did either. Having the year out now seems like the biggest mistake IMO, as I've only wasted more time and money. I've made some friends here already though and some are in their twenties and funny people, but the rest of my class seems to be a lot younger not just in age but in all other ways. I suppose it'll take time for us both. I just kind of want to pack up, go home, reapply next year for Ireland and commute and be finished early. Let us know how you get on and if you feel any better! It is almost reassuring to know I'm not the only one feeling a bit out of place, I guess the only logical explanation is that we were at home for too long and are a bit boring?! But I agree with the poster above- in a few weeks the novelty of it all with wear off the ones who haven't been away from home- and the work will begin- which is at the end of the day the reason we are here. At least you like your course!