Not good with children??

happyviolet

This is really just a minor thing, but at the same time it still bugs me. I am going to college and for this year I am staying with someone who has a ten year old child. Even though I have only been living with them for a few days, already I have a feeling that the ten year old does not like me. Obviously my childhood does not count since I was a kid then, but during my teenage years and now adult years (I am in my early 20s), I have never been surrounded by young kids nor have I ever had the opportunity to babysit kids, coz I don't really know anyone with young children, any relatives I have like cousins are all grown up and around my age, and I have no nieces or nephews. So when I am around children, I just feel so shy and awkward because I don't know what is the rigth thing to say to them. I talk to them, but I would talk to them like I would talk to any of the adults I know, I don't know how to play or be fun for children, but basically I am just a boring, very quiet person. I just don't really understand children.

Like the ten year old is nice to me, like she talks to me now and again about stuff, and also today said she like my pink converse and offered my a sweet, but I can't help but think she wants a bit more from me, to act hyper or whatever children want from adults. I try to avoid her completely whne she has friends over since I get even more awkward when there is a group of kids around, especially when i bumped into them and she was not as talkative to me, I dunno, maybe she wanted to look "cool" or something in front of her friends?

I have a tendancy to be paranoid over stuff like this, and I know I am not gonna be best friends with her, since I am here for the one year, it's just that I think it has to do with kids being more brutally honest at a young age, and would not think twice about their opinion of you, even when it is negative, I think that is what it is.

Is it normal to feel like this around children, and if so, is there anyway to try and get along with them on their level? I just don't want to be that type of person that all children don't like because of not being funny, or fun in anyway possible and I would talk but still be fairly quiet at the same time.

meoklmrk91

Take an interest in something that she has interest in, one of my friends kids sings in choir, I didn't know her very well and had to drive her somewhere, I asked her about singing in the choir, what her favourite songs to sing were etc. from there we ended up talking about loads of stuff.

I'm not great around kids, it doesn't, like you come naturally to me. So the taking an interest thing has really worked well. Another friends kid loves trains so we look up videos on YouTube together and watch them, he loves it. And I showed another friends boys a video of a Rube Goldberg machine and they have been begging me ever since to build one with them. It's pretty much the same as making new adult friends, just find some common ground that you both share.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Make small conversation with her, there might be something you have in common.

I know with kids I know, one that I'd entertain when she comes to my house loves brushing my hair, lol so she'll brush away and she'll be happy out. Sometimes she pretends to talk on my phone to her "boyfriend" and likes to play pretend.

My little cousin loves coming to visit cause ill paint her nails for her, and she'll talk the legs off a donkey about school and her friends from school. Best thing about kids is the one topic for too long bores them, so a short attention span is something we would have in common.

Kids are great fun if you can just get over feeling awkward.

Catari Jaguar

Kids can sense falseness & when a person is uncomfortable around them. They are relatively easy to get on with, all they just want is attention, lots of structure and someone to listen to them. They will chat about anything and everything so let them at it.

R.D. aka MR.D

I used to be really awkward around kids even my little cousins but then i went to a foreign country to teach a whole load of them!

The thing that i realised is that kids love to chat about anything. Just take a small interest in them and ask them a few questions like what did you do in school today and you soon get to know them like you do adults.

I don't believe in acting differently or changing the sound of my voice for children like i see some people do. Just be nice and listen to their (sometimes incredibly entertaining) stories and smile.

Big Bag of Chips

I don't think you should worry about a 10 year old being a little kid, and being "brutally honest", like say a 4 or 5 year old would be.

10 is just 3 short years away from 13!!! By age 10 kids are getting a bit "cooler", and know what is appropriate or not in certain circumstances.

I also wouldn't be too worried about what the child thinks of you... Because honestly, when you're not in the room she probably doesn't think of you at all! And I don't mean that to be unkind, I just mean that usually kids are just self absorbed. Their life is the most important thing in the world, and others are just peripheral..

You'd be surprised though... Being older and in college you are probably "super cool" to her. Her friends in school have probably heard a bit about you, and they would definitely have heard about your pink converse

Really... Don't stress too much over this. A child's life is pretty simple. They don't have all the extra added "baggage" and complications that adults bring with them. They take life as it's put in front of them... She has a few years ahead of her yet, before she becomes cynical!

Chat to her about her friends and bands etc., and realise that YOU are thinking about this much more than she is!