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Dealing with a forgetful drinker

  • 12-09-2013 5:12pm
    #1
    mawk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,738 ✭✭✭


    Hello all,

    I could do with some advice. I try my best with a relative who is a functioning alcoholic.
    When drinking, its like speaking to someone with alzheimer's. I have to field the same inane questions sometimes dozens of times and get frustrated and snappy.

    when my patience starts to wane they get the impression that I'm annoyed with them of course and that sets off the shame and causes more drinking.

    What can I do? I cannot leave them alone or the drinking spirals and I cannot bear to be around them which also make things worse.

    they are very unwilling to seek/receive help but I dont want to find a corpse some afternoon either.


Comments

  • #2
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,910 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    You have to get it out of your head that anything you do is the cause of their drinking.

    They will drink. Regardless of anything you do, they will drink.

    Maybe you should look up your local Al-Anon meeting. It's a group for family and friends of alcoholics. It won't help you cure the drinker, but it will show you that you are not alone with trying to deal with an alcoholic in the family.


  • #3
    joeguevara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,168 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    Maybe they drink because you keep asking the same inane questions.


  • #4
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    joeguevara - welcome to PI/RI. Please have a read of our charter before posting here again. Unhelpful/uncivil replies as above can and do regularly earn bans from this forum. Due to the nature of the issues here we have little tolerance for messing about or muppetry.

    Taltos


  • #5
    joeguevara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,168 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    Apologise for the above.

    Op you are in a difficult situation. You want to be there for your friend but due to the tension that that brings, it can cause the drinking to get worse.

    The main crux of the matter is that they are unwilling to get help. An alcoholic can never start to try and resolve issues until they first admit they have a problem and then begin recovery.

    My advice is be supportive of your friend, try and remain calm and don't get snappy. Outline your concerns (when they are sober). That's as much as you can do.


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